The holidays can be a really depressing time for many people and hard on many marriages. Not only are issues related to grief heightened at holiday times, but the stress and expectations level is usually higher than any other time of year.
But what I think makes matters worse is the impact of Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of good aspects about Facebook, but there are just as many negative ones. I hear people who are in messy marriages or living through messy seasons in life comparing their lives to their friend’s “photo lives” plastered all over Facebook and they get discouraged. After all …
My life and marriage is probably a lot more like yours than you’d ever imagine. The outward and polished world you see on my Facebook wall is nothing like what the walls of my home could say about me and my hubby—if they could talk. 😉
I’d venture to say that the people who look the most put-together and successful in life on their Facebook walls are probably the ones with the biggest problems in life and marriage. They need the validation that their online presence brings to offset the discouraging circumstances or insecurities present in their lives. #lookscanbedeceiving
So with that in mind, I’d like to offer ten things that you won’t see me posting on my Facebook wall, as a reminder of the silliness of comparing your life to anyone else’s.
What you won’t see me posting on FB …
- An album memorializing the long and winding traffic jam that we got caught in on our way “over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we went …”
- A photo of me after I’ve woken up from a night of fitful sleep the morning after Thanksgiving with “bed-head,” no make-up, bags under my eyes, and sporting an obvious post-Thanksgiving belly pooch! All of which would be taken in the worst lighting possible in order to highlight my no-glam glory. Nope! Not a chance!
- A video of the argument my husband and I got into in the packed mall parking lot on Black Friday! #truestory
- A photo montage of me doing the dishes, cleaning my house or cooking the meal until my back was sore and my bum knee was swelling.
- A status update of the condition of my heart—especially regarding those boundary-busters in my life who I struggle to forgive on an ongoing basis.
- A snapshot of my bank statement showing all the ways I’ve overspent so far—and I’ve only just begun my Christmas shopping! Oy-vey!
- A collage of all the many corners of my house that look more lived in, messy, cluttered and fit for a photo spread from “House Not-So-Beautiful” magazine.
- A blow-by-blow of all the many ways I overate and ignored any ounce of self-control.
- A close-up of my feet on my bathroom scale the day after Thanksgiving—chronicling the collateral damage of all of my feasting. #nowayJose
- A status update listing all the people and things that annoyed and ticked me off during the holidays—tagging the FB friends who were the worst offenders.
Nope! You won’t see me posting about any of those things.
That’s not really what Facebook is for, right?! So don’t fall prey to the comparison trap this holiday season, my friends!
If you do that, I bet you’ll have many more genuine smiles to post on your Facebook wall, as well as many more to share with others in “real life” this time of year!
What would you never post to your Facebook wall?
In what ways have you struggled with the comparison trap?
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