If you have been around Messy Marriage for any length of time, you know that I am a BIG proponent of vulnerability. Don’t get me wrong … I’m not flip-flopping on the issue of being vulnerable with who we are with our mates. That’s something we all should strive for!
I just know that …
Today, I’d like to list several of the ways I’ve seen couples make themselves vulnerable to becoming messier and/or destroying their marriages all together!
12 Ways You Might Be Ruining Your Marriage …
1. When you think “Well, that won’t ever happen to me or to us!”
We all must take a “sober” or circumspect view regarding our own, as well as, our mate’s hearts and the human heart’s tendency to be deceived or led astray without Christ guiding and controlling us.
2. When you allow yourself (or your spouse) to be ALONE with a member of the opposite sex (other than a spouse) and assume that it can be kept casual and professional.
To truly avoid this means making a commitment to no lunch dates, no meetings where you’re seeking advice (especially personal advice), not even riding in a car from point A to point B unless others are present. That may sound strict or even ridiculous, but it’s exactly the point where the majority of affairs begin! Your marriage is worth the extra precaution!
3. When you stuff your anger and bitterness toward your mate and then find yourself attracted to the next nice “guy” or “gal” who pays attention to you. Go figure!
4. When you think that you can control the fantasy in your head about your coworker or the hot guy/gal next-door/at church, etc. because it’s only in your mind.
5. When you haven’t dealt with the unfinished business related to “the one that got away” and think that those feelings will also eventually just “go away” too.
6. When you post seductive selfies on Facebook, Instagram or elsewhere and don’t think it will pique another person’s interest in seeing “more of you”—regardless of what your marital status says on Facebook!
7. When you flirt with certain members of the opposite sex, because “it’s all in fun.”
8. When you regularly dress to impress or attract someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse.
9. When you choose to regularly find comfort and sexual release in someone or something other than your mate.
10. When you rarely spend time connecting with your spouse in daily conversation, regular date times, or regular times of love-making.
11. When you treat your mate with disdain or disrespect on a regular basis.
12. When you’re a believer and relegate God to an occasional “add-on” or after-thought to your life and marriage.
It’s so very easy to fall prey to any of these dangerous vulnerabilities in marriage. Don’t be so foolish to ignore these “red-flags” in your life! Because if you do, you’ll be marching toward the lawyer faster than you can say, “I never thought I’d get a divorce!”
What vulnerabilities can you add to my list?
Which ones do you think are most dangerous?
Congrats to the FIVE randomly generated winners of our 5 Year Blogiversary giveaway! They are: Maryleigh B., Nannette E., Deborah Will, Mary F., and Andrea H. We’re so excited for all of you winners and hope that you continue to find encouragement from Messy Marriage for many more years to come!
Also, I’d love it if you’d check out my new Connect U page that gives details about an upcoming marriage workshop that my husband, Gary and I are conducting in Lynchburg, Virginia this coming Friday, Oct 23rd. We’d love it if you’d pray for us on this particular occasion, but also as we begin to offer more of these workshops in the weeks and months ahead. 🙂