Love Language Gift Ideas for Your Spouse And Linkup

Because Valentines Day is less than a week away, I wanted to turn my focus to romance and the power of giving just the right gift to each of our unique partners.

I’d like to use Gary Chapman’s book and concept based on five distinct love languages* as the basis for a Valentines gift-giving guide today.

Gift of Love

Start by completing the free online profile/inventory at his site to discover what your and your mate’s love languages are.

Perhaps your spouse isn’t willing to do this. If so, you might come up with a fairly reliable result by completing the inventory for him/her based on how you think he or she would answer.

[Tweet “With your mate’s love language in hand, discover some gift-giving ideas for this Valentines!”]

1. Words of Affirmation . . .

~ Write a love letter that shares what you love about your mate in the way he/she:

  • Performs their job(s)
  • Parents your children
  • Shows you affection
  • Looks or dresses
  • Encourages you
  • Lives out their passion(s)
  • Lives out their faith
  • Demonstrates their talent(s)
  • Impacts other people’s lives

You can also snag a free love letter template, that provides over 150 quotes, poems, sayings to inspire and create your design! Woot, woot!

~ Fill a jar with compliments and affirmations about your spouse, then every day (perhaps at bedtime or meal times) encourage your spouse to open one more up and read it—with or without you present. Go here for other examples of how to do this.

~ Schedule a romantic dinner for the two of you and either read the letter above or simply share all the ways you’ve seen your spouse excel and grow in this past year.

2. Acts of Service . . .

~ Think of at least ten ways that you could do some “service” for your spouse that he/she would love. Write these on index cards or come up with some beautifully designed coupons to give your mate. But be sure to put them in a gift-wrapped box or lovely gift bag!

[Tweet “Remember . . . it’s Valentines Day! Go all out! #prettypresents #wooyourmate”]

~ Fix your spouse’s favorite meal and dessert for an intimate dinner-for-two on Valentines Day.

~ Give your mate a decorative chalkboard to write out 3 ways he/she would like you to help him or her in the months to come, then hang it on the wall as a reminder to get those new jobs done. Pssst, crossing them off feels so good! 😉

Quality Time . . .

~ Similar to the Acts of Service cards above, write out as many creative date ideas as you can, then give it to your mate in a gift-wrapped box or bag.

Here are some ideas:

  • Dance the night away or take Dance Lessons together
  • Visit several meaningful spots around town from your past—sharing how special those memories are.
  • Double-date with good friends
  • Rock Climbing
  • Geocaching
  • Take a bus or trolley tour of a big city near you
  • Binge watch your spouse’s favorite TV series or movie—complete with your spouse’s favorite snacks!

~ Go out for a romantic dinner, but ask each other some of the 365 questions that the Generous Wife came up with. Then really listen and reflect back what your mate is saying.

Receiving Gifts . . .

~ Take your mate out for a shopping spree.
You’ll probably need to set a spending limit here, but really have fun finding that perfect gift together.

~ Sometimes we don’t know what actual gift our mates would adore. So why not ask him or her to give you suggestions, then just be sure to get one of the things he/she suggested . . . no substitutes or inferior products allowed!

~ Combine the gift of “Quality Time” with “Receiving Gifts” by planning and paying for a special trip the two of you can take together.

Physical Touch . . .

~ Pay for a couple’s massage or plan to give your mate one yourself.
If you give your mate one, go all out with massage oils, scented candles, dim lighting and relaxing music. Check out Cassie’s post over at TrueAgape for extra pointers.

~ Plan, pay for and schedule a couple’s getaway that includes lots of time for hugs, kisses and bow-chicka-wow-wow. 😉

~ Go for the gold by combining an evening out for a romantic dinner, presenting a gift of flowers and/or chocolates, and infusing it with lots of affection shown all throughout, but especially once you get back home. If you catch my drift! 😉

[Tweet “Christian bloggers, the “From Messes to Messages” linkup is live! #MessyMarriage”]

Check out my article, “When God is Silent” over at BlessedTransgressions. I must’ve missed this when it was published back in October, since I was a bit distracted by my bout with shingles! 


What other “love language” ideas can you add to my suggestions?


What is your love language and how would you like your mate to give to you this Valentine’s Day?


* Click here to check out 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Here are some lovely linkups I joinChristian Blogger Community, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Testimony Tuesday, Writer Wednesday, Coffee and Conversation, Coffee for Your Heart, Sitting Among Friends, Moments of Hope, Literary Musing Mondays, Fresh Market Friday, and DanceWithJesusFriday

Let’s Get this ‘From Messes to Messages’ Linkup Started!
Add any links that are uplifting, helpful and encouraging to our spiritual lives, marriages and families! Be sure to add a link on your blog back to “From Messes to Messages” or Messy Marriage as well. For linkup guidelines/button, click here.

Messes to Messages

For more Love Language gift ideas check out and their graphic below …

acts of service

  • Mary

    I love these ideas! Out of curiosity I took the test again to see where I fell with the five love languages. I am a words of affirmation girl which I knew and acts of service is second.

    The jar of compliments is right down my alley as well as having someone make me dinner. Thank you for providing resources and wonderful ideas. Hope you and Gary have a wonderful Valentine’s day together.

    • Thanks, Mary! I took it again too (since it’s been a while) and would’ve included my results but this post was turning into a beast! ha!

      And I’m the same way–words of affirmation with acts of service second. Though quality time is pretty important too. I did a jar with compliments for Gary many moons ago, so I’d say it’s time for another one. I think he really values affirmation–almost as much as affection. Gotta up my game in both areas! Thanks for sharing too, my friend!

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great ideas, Beth!

    I too the test and found that I’m tied on Words Of Affirmation and Acts Of Service, with the other three pretty well zeroed out.

    The test isn’t really complete for someone like me, though, because I would far rather perform acts of service (or deliver praise) than receive them. I wonder if this is common?

    One thing I’d add for physical touch is tandem bungee jumping. Nothing like diving into an abyss, held only by a big rubber band and the arms of the one you love. 🙂

    • That doesn’t surprise me about you, Andrew. I see how you live out those two love languages in your own life. And I agree about how our love languages are really areas where we excel personally. I think that’s why we value being given those same expressions of love back. I don’t know why that’s not explained more in the results, but it might be in the love languages book. I’ve read parts of the book but not all of it and it’s been many years ago that I did any reading of it. I just really feel like the approach since it is practical and meaningful.

      Tandem bungee jumping, eh? I’m not sure how well I would handle a bungee jumping date! I’m a wee bit afraid of heights. However, I can see how exhilarating that would be for a couple–bonding them in an amazing memory. Thanks for adding it!

  • pioneerpat1

    What a beautiful and great post. You have so many wonderful ideas on it.

    Thanks for hosting and have a wonderful rest of the week.

    • Thanks, Patrick! I hope that you and your partner enjoy doing at least one of them! Great to have you in the linkup, as always!

  • Great post! I’m a huge fan of the 5 Love Languages so I was super excited to see your gift guide be around that! Thank you for the mention about massages as a physical touch idea!

    • I hope that you and Ryan find one of my ideas sparks a date idea for you two lovebirds. I know that you’re super busy now with your sweet new baby. Congrats on that new addition and blessing, by the way! And I was happy to include a mention to your blog post. It’s a great idea with very helpful details.

  • 5 love languages is a wonderful book. It is a timeless piece.
    Lovely ideas.
    Thank you for refreshing my memory.
    Blessings to you Beth.

    • Yes it is, Ifeoma. It can be something that sparks not only a romantic date but a rekindling of a discouraged marriage, I believe. Thanks for linking up and joining the conversation, my friend. Always glad to have you here!

  • Susan

    My hubs’ love language is bow-chicka-wow-wow and mine is acts of service!!!! For some reason this post makes me laugh not because of the content (which is good) but the bow-chicka-wow-wow really tickled me – and well, you know how I love to laugh!!! xo

    • Yeah, my girlfriends and I use that term all the time to rib each other about our love lives, Susan! ha! So it felt so natural to add it here in another sweet place of friendship! Thanks for joining the conversation and encouraging me to boot!

  • Bev @ Walking Well With God

    I had to chuckle at Susan’s comment…I would say my husband falls in the bow-chicka-wow-wow category (what man doesn’t lol). Seriously though, these are some great ideas for all the special people in my life – including my hubby 🙂
    Blessings and Happy Valentine’s Day,
    Bev xx

    • Yes, I believe that most husbands, even if that’s not their love language, do love a bow-chicka-wow-wow moment on Valentines Day! ha! Thanks for your encouragement, Bev! Always great to see your smiling face in the linkup and comments!

  • Great ideas, Beth. I’m going to use a couple of these. Thanks for hosting and have a great week!

    • I hope you do, Donna! I think I’m going to use a couple of them myself! Funny how our blog posts stir intentional and proactive actions in our marriages! Thanks for your friendship and support, girlfriend!

      • And for yours, Beth! Hope you and your husband have a sweet Valentine’s Day!

  • Really good tips for Valentine’s Day gifts. Thank you for sharing! Happy Wednesday!

    • Thanks, Meg! Glad to have you in the linkup!

  • Beth, I appreciate this thoughtful list of ideas that suit different preferences. Thanks so much! I tend to fall into a rut.

    • Me too, Debbie. If it weren’t for my blog and the constant effort to think about what I can do to help others, I probably would be so lazy in my marriage. I really feel like I need to use everything I post about here. Sometimes my “tools” or “exercises” are developed for own needs and used long before I write about them. And sometimes they come as a result of wanting to help others. But either way I go, I’m challenged and strengthened in my marriage by my own marriage blog! Imagine that! Thanks for your encouragement, my friend!

  • My husband loves to be touched… I love a lot of hugs and cuddles.
    Great ideas shared here Beth, and I love that you shared inexpensive ways of giving this Valentine.
    Have a super blessed day!

    • That’s always great when a couple shares the physical touch love language. I think those are probably some of the most healthy marriages, Ugochi. Thanks for your kind words. I did try to offer alternatives to high priced gifts, so I’m glad you noticed that.

  • Brandi Tesreau

    Love the Five Love Languages. I’ve always felt a bit guilty that I like gifts a whole lot. And time and acts of service are right up there, too. My hubby’s two main ones are the exact opposite of mine. Isn’t that how it always is??!! Thanks for linking up with Literacy Musing Mondays.

  • Thanks for the reminder that love languages are practical ways to express love. I’m an affirmation gal and my hubs is a touch kind of guy. It’s easy to get lulled into giving your preference rather than someone else’s

  • I am quality time, and it was no surprise years ago to see my husband is physical touch. 😃 Some of my favorite times with him are the nights we sit and talk!

  • love the love languages – time to fill out some service cards for my Man-in-Plaid!

  • I love the ideas you share here and am so grateful for your support of the #LMMLinkup.

  • Sarah Geringer

    Hi Beth! I’m glad I visited from #sittingamongfriends and discovered your linkup! I’ll be back on Tuesdays to linkup in the future. This is a post full of wonderful ideas. I plan to share it on my Facebook page. Glad to meet you!