A Tool for Recapturing Young Love

What I love about youAs many of you know, my oldest son, Jordan, recently married his sweetheart, Sarah, back in June. The joy and enthusiasm of their young love is proving to be very inspiring to me an oldie-wed.

Since Sarah is a blogger, photographer, and videographer, my husband and I have lots of opportunities to witness their love in a variety of formats! So today I’ll be sharing a link to Sarah’s blog and a video they created together that showcases the “bliss” of young love. You can go here to view it.

It’s easy to fall into habitual patterns or even ruts in marriage that leave us feeling bored and on the fringes of mediocrity. That’s why the “Triple C challenge” has been on my mind. And if you’d like to rev your marriage up a bit, I hope you’ll check out some of the challenges – week one, week two, week three.

But today I’m offering a “tool” or exercise that I think can be so helpful to recapture what it was that drew us to our mates in the first place. It is my “What I love and value in my mate” exercise that offers 15 important questions to consider and answer. Click here for the pdf.

You can copy and paste the questions from this pdf into a document to customize with your own answers. As you stop to consider what it is you love and value in your mate, you’ll be reminded of the good that you might have forgotten or overlooked. That will not only encourage you now, but it will be a helpful reminder to return to after a conflict or tension-filled moment. So I’d encourage you to keep this somewhere easily accessible, so that you can …

[Tweet “Read over your love letter anytime your love wanes or your anger flashes!”]

You might also want to share a copy of the letter with your mate to encourage him or her in your marriage. And if your mate is wise, he or she will keep the letter in a special spot as well, to return to and meditate on when needed or desired. ๐Ÿ˜‰

[Tweet “We all need a reminder of what it is we love about our mates! #loveletter #keepitfresh”]

What is one thing you love or value about your mate?

 

What are some things you do to keep your love fresh and rekindled?

 

P.S. Sloppy Joe Time will return next week, focusing on the topic of reading my spouse’s mind! It’s one you won’t want to miss!


Linking up with โ€“ย Marriage Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Faith and Friends, Making Your Home Sing,ย  Mondays @ Soul Survival, ย Sunday Stillness, ย Sharing His Beauty, Spiritual Sundays andย  Playdates with God

  • What a beautiful site your daughter-in-love has crafted! What a sweet visit on Sunday afternoon …

    • Isn’t it great, Linda?! I’m so glad it added some sweetness to your Sunday. I hope you’re enjoying your time away with family! Praying that Christ continually rocks you in his arms of comfort, my friend!

  • Sheryl Siler

    I am so happy to be reading your encouragement to appreciate and rekindle your love for your husband. As a oldie-wed I know have had seasons of taking the relationship for granted.

    • Yes, it’s so easy to do, Sheryl. I know that even my son and his new wife will face these changing seasons of marriage. I’m so glad they have the video I shared as a reminder of their young love and are inspired to constantly renew and refresh their relationship through acts and thoughts of love. Thanks so much for coming by!

  • Denise Oldham

    great encouragement.

    • Thanks for joining the conversation, Denise!

  • Mary Flaherty

    Beth, your daughter-in-love is adorable! And the questions you ask are great, especially because they all focus on the positive! I’m next to you this week at The Beauty in His Grip, and will be linking up this week with Messy Marriage.

    • Isn’t she, Mary? I just love her heart and am so excited to get to know her and the “married couple” that she and Jordan are now. Thanks for your kind words about the letter. I know I need to remember all the good that is there in my hubby, Gary, especially when it’s hard to see. Thanks for coming by and encouraging me, girlfriend!

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great post, and a very useful list. Thank you for this!

    Yesterday was our 13th anniversary, and I did think about the road that brought us here. My perspective is perhaps a bit singular, but I am not sure I even want to rekindle young love…I like the relationship where it is now, with the effects of over a decade of intentional – and perhaps enforced – compassion.

    We never had a ‘bliss’ period; the illness that is killing me now was brought on by a botched surgery in 2002, a few months before the wedding. I was quite ill when we married. Very soon after we returned to Texas (from Indiana, where the wedding was performed) we moved from San Marcos (near Austin) to Lubbock. I was driving a rented truck, and when we got to our new home I was in such bad shape that Barbara had to drag me to the house.

    We’ve come a log way, and when Barbara said, last night, that most couples would not have made it this far in facing that which we have faced, I had to agree with her – and I had to be thankful for God’s providence, and my wife’s commitment.

    Interestingly, I did talk about those things in my wife that I love in my blog post for the day.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/08/your-dying-spouse-41-life-in-ordinary.html

    • Yes, there is something to be said for “mature love” too, Andrew. And my husband and I really never had the “bliss” period either. We were both (and still are) so serious-minded. But I think it’s lovely and sweet that Sarah is bringing some softness and playfulness to the Steffaniak clan!

      I’m sorry that most of your married life has been battling an illness. That’s the way it was for my dad after my mom died and he remarried. He had about a week before he developed shingles that moved into years of post-herpatic neuralgia. Years later he developed a rare sarcoma that took his life–all the while growing up the side where his neuralgia was worse. But he was like you … he never stopped the fight to live! But I know that his marriage to his second wife became more of a challenge due to his chronic pain and illness. She was great to nurse him during those dark days, but love was probably never truly “sweet” for them. Sometimes love is gritty and fierce instead. Thanks for coming by and encouraging me, my friend!

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    And Sarah’s video brought tears to my eyes.

    Not for wishing we’d had that, but because that innocent joy and carefree laughter…it is just that for which I went out to fight, and for which I would have willingly died.

    And I still would. It sounds trite to say it, but I would take a bullet for those kids.

    Without it…why are we even here?

    Their joy is everything.

    • You are so sweet to say, Andrew! I love that you went to Sarah’s place and wished them well. I am so grateful for the sacrifices you made as a soldier defending our country–for kids like Jordan and Sarah. It isn’t trite at all and greatly appreciated from my mama heart! Hugs to you!

  • Melanie Redd

    Thanks for sharing such a positive post about marriage! I love the handout and the questions you have suggested.

    We are going on 25 years, and we still work daily keep things sweet and vibrant. Posts like this one always spur me (and others) on to better relationships!

    Came over on Soul Survivor.
    Hope you have a blessed day~
    Melanie

    • Yes, Melanie, we all need these encouragements and spurring posts to keep us focused on the love our marriages need to thrive and grow. They spur me on as well! Thanks for coming by and congrats on 25 years! That’s great!

  • Praying that many will be inspired by your post. Thanks for sharing this & for visiting me at Doorkeeper. Blessings!

    • Thank you, Renee. I pray that too and am grateful for your sweet visit. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Mary

    Thank you for sharing your daughter-in-law’s blog. The video was a beautiful story of love and it reminds me of my own sons. God is so good to teach us over and over what love is really all about. So glad you shared this with all of us at The Weekend Brew.

    • I’m so glad we have that in common, Mary. We are moms of grown sons who have the joy of getting to know many a “daughter-in-love!” Thanks for your kind words and constant demonstration of care and friendship to me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Thanks for the pdf Beth. We are celebrating our 7th anniversary this week and it’s a great thing to ponder on and share as a gift!
    I loved Sarah’s video! i left a note on her blog, telling her how this past weekend, my husband was showing me how to bounce pebbles across water surfaces. Seeing Jordan do that in the video..just beautiful!!

    • You’re welcome, Ngina! Congrats on 7 years! That’s, in my view, something of a milestone for a couple. You start to enter the phase where all the newness is replaced with familiarity–which can be a good thing, as long as we spice it up. And I know you are a girl who works at that! Thanks for saying about Sarah’s video. It brings me to tears every time I watch it. Truly it is a beautiful piece of art! Thanks for encouraging them at Sarah’s place too. You’re a great bloggy girlfriend!

  • Corrine

    We’ve been having a really rough time the last few years, mainly with trust (his pornography use). Reading through that list of character qualities was really hard, as the couple things I see aren’t things I truly value. I don’t even know where to start to try and rebuild. Any suggestions?

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