And the Survey Says


Messy Marriage


Recently I conducted a survey to discover just who is the Messy Marriage reader. Today, I’d like to share some of the results and let you know what topics we’ll be tackling in the near future!

Of the respondents who took the survey …

78.3% are women
21.7% are men

The majority fall between the ages of 29 and 39, followed closely by sizable amounts in both the 40 – 50 and 51 – 60 age ranges.

86% live in the U.S.
14% live abroad

Some of the foreign countries represented were: Singapore, New Zealand, Scotland, South Africa, Fiji—to name just a few!

The majority of respondents graduated from college.

86% are married.

The majority of respondents have never gone to counseling, although this was closely followed by sizable amounts that have either gone to counseling for marital issues or have gone for issues not related to marriage.

85% said your faith is extremely important to you.

The majority of you feel we do “quite well” here at Messy Marriage addressing your issues and concerns. That was the second highest mark we could receive, but still leaves us encouraged since we have room to improve your take-away!

The top issue you’d like to hear more about was …
Conflict Resolution at 63.2%

This was closely followed by several other topics …
Romance/Reigniting the Spark at 61.4%
Sex at 56.1%
Husband/Wife roles at 54.4%
Spiritual at 52.6%

Eight respondents offered specific areas of concern that they would like to be addressed in a write-in question.

I will make it Messy Marriage’s mission in the days and months to come to address each of the concerns that were flagged. Please be assured that if we don’t get to your concern next, we will get to it soon! It will be our top priority moving forward.

We will begin by addressing issues raised in a desperate or on-the-brink-of-divorce kind of marriage in a series of posts throughout the month of September.

In fact, September and October will be full of great events! We’ll be doing two great book giveaways. We’ll also have two amazing guests. First, Dr. Jennifer Thomas who co-authored The Five Languages of Apology with Gary Chapman will be hosting Wedded Wed the last Wednesday of this month, and my dear counselor friend, Linda Stoll at Creekside Ministries will be hosting the following Wednesday in October. They’ve been gracious enough to fill in for me while my husband and I go on our long-awaited anniversary trip to England and Wales! Pics to follow!

So come back by and check out all the exciting opportunities and resources to come!


In the comment section tell me, what marriage topics are you most interested in?


And if you haven’t completed the survey yet, you can still do that here.



Linking up with – NOBH, Momma Notes, Marriage Mondays, Marriage Moments Monday, Making Your Home Sing Monday, Living Proverbs 31, Playdates with God and Marriage Monday


  1. Can’t wait, my friend … thanks for asking me to host a week!

  2. Nannette Elkins says:

    I see my age group was in the minority, ha! The Sweetheart isn’t retired yet, in fact we are in our early 50’s, but he works from home when we are not traveling with our ministry. So we are basically together 24/7. Now, mind you, after 34 years of wedded bliss, we are still crazy about each other, (insert big smile) but maybe one day when you run out of Things to talk about on the blog you can do a post for those of us with our darlings under our feet every day. All day. 24 hours a day. Seven days a week. 365 days a year. Lord I love him so much! And if he sees this he will ask for the same!! Lol!

    • Ha! Nannette, I can certainly relate to you in the situation you described. Years ago my husband had his office in our basement. Mind you this was when our boys were toddlers and loved to ride their Little Tyke cars and scooters back and forth above his head! It made for some interesting arguments and unglued moments! Sounds like you’ve worked out a plan that works well for you and your hubby, though. Maybe you should be the one to write a post about that topic! 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by!

  3. bluecottonmemory says:

    2 things really helped with “conflict resolution” in my marriage – they both came under the header of “expectations” – 1) the adjustment of expectations to come in line with each other. It is when my expectations of tasks, views, etc differ from my spouses that we have conflict. Taking time to adjust those expectations so we’re on the same page I think is the biggest challenge of the first 15 years of marriage:) 2) Determining healthy expectations of what marriage is – I sat with women in the 60s, 70s and 80s at one point in my life for a few years over Tuesday morning coffee. As a child of divorce, I needed to learn things like, “When you’re 75, do you still get angry at your husband?” – and I learned you never arrive at a Utopia – but it’s learning to live in unconditional love and grace:) I love survey results and analysis – what fun you are having with that information right now! Have an awesome time on your trip. Can’t wait to see the picts!

    • Great point! Expectations are so important to recognize and adjust realistically. And I wholeheartedly agree there’s a need to show grace when those expectations aren’t met! Lots of grace! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and weighing in, sweet friend. Yes, I love survey’s too and feel like I’ve gained a boatload of info that will help us around here.

  4. Dear Beth
    You allow our Pappa to serve so many people with marriage problems through your blog!
    People listen with more credulity from someone wh has walk the walk, before they talk the talk. Great ministry, dear one.
    Blessings XX

    • Awww, Mia! That’s so kind! You really touched me with your sweet words of encouragement. I pray that is what God is doing–using us in far-reaching and redemptive ways.

  5. Kim Adams Morgan says:

    Love the topics you cover, Beth. And what a great idea to do a survey to see what the readers need most. Kim

  6. Thanks for sharing these results. It’s always interesting to find out who is reading! Sounds like you’ve got exciting travel plans ahead–I pray it will be a great time for you and your sweetie.

    • Yes, the results have already given me lots of ideas for future posts! And yes, we are really looking forward to this trip that is coming much too fast. There’s so much to get in order still and so little time! But we’ll have the time of our lives whether we’ve got it all planned out or not!

  7. Great survey, Beth. And make no mistake, your words help me and many, many others. And Linda is my dear counselor friend, too. I spent many hours in her office during the darkest of days. She was and is a beacon of God’s holy light. LOVE you LINDA! And you, too, Beth 🙂 Blessings as your blog moves forward and have the most wonderful, most romantic, most memorable anniversary love trip EVER!! Hugs to you, my friend.

    • You’re a sweetheart, Sheila!

    • Wow, I didn’t know that you went to Linda for counseling! I bet she’s great at what she does because I see that beacon shining in her writings every time she posts something or comes by here to encourage me. And I really appreciate your kind words to me as well, Sheila. It really makes a difference to hear that people see God working through this ministry. That’s all I could ask for! And yes, we will have the trip of a lifetime. I can’t wait!

  8. How exciting about your anniversary trip, Beth! Congratulations, I hope you have a sweet time. The info from your survey is very interesting. How neat that your readers are so diverse. I’ll be looking forward to some of those topics you mention.