My Messy Motherhood

Me with my boys when they were 8, 5 and 2 In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to spend a little time sharing a messy motherhood confession or two. It’s sad but true, I’ve not only been involved in some messy marriage moments, but I’ve also made some huge motherhood messes as well.    […]

Messy Motherhood?

In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to give equal time to another aspect of messy marriage—messy moms and dads. Believe it or not, it’s true—very often in messy marriages you’ll also find messy parents. And I’m not talking about the times when your husband leaves his underwear hanging on the headboard. I’m talking about […]

Taking a Sacred Marital Pause?

I’ve often heard the old saying, “the family that prays together stays together” and I’ve always believed that to be true. But my hubs, Gary, and I have found it to be something of a hard habit to keep in place within our marriage. Sure, as a family we always pray before we chow down. […]

Are You Fighting with a Ghost?

Recently, I’ve done some soul searching. Very often when my husband, Gary, and I disagree, it reminds me of the conflicts that my parents too often had when I was a child. And my first reaction to him in those times is to “table the conversation.” But recently I’m beginning to recognize that I’ve been […]

The Real Ball and Chain

When Gary and I were first married, we were young, poor seminary students. Unfortunately, I wanted to rework his fashion image. So, since I proudly held “a” credit card to a department store and since Gary needed some clothes, we went on a spending spree! After all, we reasoned, we can manage the $10 minimum […]

Naggy McNaggerson, Party of One…

Written by frequent contributor: Stacey Micklevitz   How easy it is to be critical! It’s human nature. Honestly, our spouses practically invite us to criticize, correct, and redirect. Seriously speaking, when opportunities present themselves, I find myself struggling against the urge to let my husband, Bryan, know when he is wrong. My situation is not […]

Mess-Maker #1 – My Marriage Should Make Me Happy

  This seems like a “no-brainer!” We should all want our marriages and spouses to make us happy. Only a masochist or crazy person wouldn’t want his/her marriage to produce happiness, right? Don’t get me wrong! I completely agree that it’s a wonderful thing when happiness happens. Where I have trouble with this concept is in the “expectation” that it should make us happy. That’s […]

Stuck in a Rut?

  If your marriage is like mine, you sometimes get stuck in a rut. Things may go along fairly smoothly for months or even years, but then you hit a pothole and get stuck. When you’re in that rut, it might seem like you’re constantly irritated with each other—or irritated with life, but you take […]

How to Defuse Anger – Part Two

In my last post, I shared that thinking you can control your spouse or “playing god” only increases anger and frustration. So if you release control to the one, true God, you’ll be able to lessen your anger. Today I want to discuss another internal problem with anger that’s very much related to the first. […]

How to Defuse Anger – Part One

When dealing with anger in a marriage—messy or not—you can take an external approach and deal with communication techniques. Or you can take an internal approach and explore thoughts and feelings in an effort to do and think about what is right or best for the relationship. Both ways are important, but today I will […]