Book Review & Giveaway – Love to Stay

lts.do.loveToday I’m interrupting my Desperate Marriage Myth series to do a book giveaway and review on the new release of Love to Stay by Adam Hamilton. I’m also attending the American Association of Christian Counselor’s conference in Nashville and may be delayed on replying to comments or blog hopping, but I will do my best to respond when I can.

In Love, Sex and Marriage, the author surveyed 5184 people in 2011, both married and single who answered questions based on their love lives. I really enjoyed how he took this data and revealed important facts regarding such topics as; what men and women want, the significance of sexual intimacy, faithfulness, conflict and forgiveness to name a few. You can tell from this list of topics that this book is useful for both married couples and singles who want to prepare for marriage.

The statistical findings also provided a wealth of information on how to make “love stay”—an ambition that we’re glad to encourage here at Messy Marriage! Adam shared mostly from the viewpoint of a pastor and counselor rather than from a husband’s perspective, but he did share “here and there” personal experiences and struggles he’s had in his life and marriage. I suppose I would’ve liked to have heard more about his marriage and marital challenges than he offered. But I’m not disappointed by the direction he took, since the statistical information really was eye-opening, engaging and helpful for working through the challenges of marriage.

I appreciated that the author spoke from a clearly Christian viewpoint throughout. And I also found the Reflect and Engage sections he provided at the end of each chapter to be a great resource for further processing. In this section, he offered specific questions based upon the chapter’s topic, ways to pray together, ideas and exercises to do on your own, as well as, some additional thoughts for singles.

The author also occasionally offered suggestions on certain aspects of love and marriage that I thought were insightful, often biblically-based and practical. However, there was one suggestion that I didn’t agree with. He suggested ways to spice up your sex life, one of which was to use a sex toy between a husband and wife. Personally, I don’t feel it’s ever a good idea to introduce a sexual method of stimulation that can’t be replicated in form or intensity by a spouse. That’s simply my conviction but I don’t think you can make a case for it being biblically prohibited either.

Overall, I really enjoyed and learned a lot from this book. The author kept me interested all throughout, especially in the chapters that included survey results. I would recommend this book to those who are married as well as those who are single and hope to marry someday.

If you would like to enter the contest to win this book, please leave a comment below. (Make sure that your email is registered when you sign in through Disqus, so that I can reach you if you win.) Comments can be entered through midnight on Thursday, Sept. 12th. I will announce the winner here on this blog post on Friday. And I’ll be continuing the Desperate Marriage Myth series on Monday.

 

So, what’s a marriage practice you’ve done through the years that has helped your “love to stay”?

 

You can find out more about Adam’s book, Love to Stay at his website here.

Additional ways to connect and investigate this new book and the author are:

Love to Stay on Pinterest
Official book trailer on YouTube
Adam Hamilton on Facebook
Adam Hamilton on Twitter
Click – here for some of the specific statistics referenced and discussed in Love to Stay.

And the winner, selected by random number generator, is – Ngina! Yayyyy! I’ll be in touch, my friend to make arrangements to get the book to you! 

**************

Joining with NOBH, Works for Me Wednesday, To Love Honor and Vacuum, Whimsical Wednesday and Wholehearted Wednesday

Now, it’s time for Wedded Wednesday!

WW rules:

Write in any way you feel inspired about marriage, parenthood or anything that reflects Christ’s redemption in your life.

  1. Enter in a permalink directly to your blog post and not the main URL to your blog.
  2. Be sure to include a link to Wedded Wednesday or add the WW button (code is in MM’s footer) to your current blog post and/or sidebar.
  3. Visit and comment on at least one other person’s blog that’s linked up here.
  4. Please no offensive or inappropriate content or sexually explicit images!

Optional but encouraged:

  1. Consider setting up your Gravatar profile and Disqus Profile with a link to your blog … it makes it so much easier for all of us to find those of you who blog!
  2. If you have the time, visit those who visit your blog and comment at their place as well … sort of a “Say it forward.”
Come join our Wednesday Link-up!

  • Enjoy the AACC Conference, my friend! I’ve got many wonderful/exhausting/challenging/uplifting memories from the times I was there. Can’t wait to hear about it!
    ;-}

    • Aww, I’ll miss you! I’ve been wondering who of my blogging friends might be attending. Thanks for stopping by, Linda!

  • Nan

    Well, for one thing, from the beginning of our marriage, we have committed to NEVER mention the word divorce. So it’s never been threatened in an argument and never been considered as an option! Have a lovely time at the conference, my friend!

  • One way we’ve made love STAY in our marriage is to laugh together… life can get way too serious!

  • Sounds like such a great book Beth! one thing that has helped love stay in our marriage is ditching the “drifting” mindset (i hoped to drift my way to a successful relationship) and putting on the “intentional” cap instead. It’s one thing to want a great marriage, quite another to work at it!

  • One way my husband and I work together is by choosing to have a short term memory. We don’t hold on to grievances. We seek forgiveness and forgetfulness. if tempted to bring something from the past back up, we know its already been dealt with. We are not always always perfect at this achieving this but we are making the attempt!

  • Greg Kurtz

    Speaking for my people (in this case, men), I’ll admit we can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but I’ve discovered (after 26 years) that a major key is practicing the phrase in the graphic: “DO love until you FEEL love.” We may not always experience that same rush of feelings toward our spouse that we did early on in the relationship, but the feelings that come with love are a result of putting love into practice. Making a commitment to consistently do the “little things” (e.g., flirting with, romancing, and communicating with your spouse) can help repair a broken marriage and re-energize and revitalize a seemingly solid one. DOING those little things WILL bring back those FEELINGS of love. I wish I hadn’t needed to learn this the hard way, but God can use even our biggest mistakes to help us grow and learn.

  • Laura Weber

    Love is a decision, not always a feeling. The “in love” feeling is not a constant over the course of a marriage, but the commitment, the decision, becomes the glue that helps marriages weather the tough times.

  • Kim Adams Morgan

    Hi Beth, haven’t heard of this book. My husband and I have been very intentional about many things. Saying no to things that take us away from each other; having one vehicle (I know, crazy) so we have that time in the car together as we drop each other off, it’s quality time; taking vacations together; and having time every morning to connect, hug and kiss so I get my physical touch “love language” time in. It’s been wonderful.

  • I think this is the first time I am linking up. I am not sure that I realized that you had a linkup party. So, I just grabbed your button and will add it soon. I am sort of only blogging and linking up a little this week since my hubby is home. I really really like what I see on your blog and will have to come back when I have more time to read what you share about marriage. Thanks so much for taking the time to blog

  • christie

    Choosing each and every day that the marriage matters more than whatever the argument might be

  • Nykiah

    I haven’t been married for years yet but one thing that helps me help the love to stay is staying in an active relationship with the Lord and regularly confessing and repenting. When I run to God I am mostly at peace and can recognize my own faults. That allows me room to look at my husband as a sinner just as I am and both our needs for Jesus. I also always try to think of creative ways to capture my hubby; datenights, reading, you know? Always love reading here!

    Blessings!

  • Erica Harriss

    Looks like a great read. Thanks for offering this fun contest! =)