Closer Than Ever Before – Guest Post by John and Wendy Godfrey & Linkup!

7 Ways to be closer

Keeping your marriage strong as you grow older doesn’t have to be difficult. There are a number of great things you can do to make sure you and your spouse are more in love than ever before.

By focusing on your marriage and making it a priority, you’ll find that the joy of being married to your best friend can be a lifelong experience. Choose the ideas that work best for you and your spouse, to help make your marriage stronger.

1. Attention is key.

People can drift apart, and you don’t want to let that happen to you and your spouse. The demands of careers and children can take their toll, and keep you from spending time together like you did in the beginning of your marriage. Make time each day, even if it’s just a few minutes, to really listen to each other and be close, physically and emotionally.

2. Don’t let the affection fade.

Caring about each other is something that should be shown on a regular basis. Keeping your feelings inside isn’t going to help keep your marriage strong, so remember to be affectionate. A hug, a kiss or even a sweet, longing look from across the room while you’re cooking dinner can be enough to help your spouse remember how much he or she is valued.

3. Re-affirm your love for one another.

A lot of couples renew their vows when they reach a milestone anniversary, but there are plenty of simple ways to re-affirm the love you have for your spouse. Cards, kind gestures and simply saying, “I love you” on a regular basis go a long way toward getting your marriage alive and happy. Don’t overlook the simple things, because it’s those simple things that really add up to a lifetime of happiness.

4. Take care of your health, both physically and mentally.

The healthier you and your spouse stay, the more things you can enjoy doing together. While some ailments may be out of your control, you can avoid a lot of problems by simply eating right and getting some exercise each day. Doing those things together can also make them a lot more fun, so you’re both more likely to keep heading in the right direction.

5. Remember and reminisce about the early years of your love.

There are so many good memories you’ve had with your spouse over the years. Talk about those memories, and how much they mean to you. You may even want to recreate some of your past dates and best memories for special occasions. That can make you feel young again, and help you reinforce your love for each other.

6. Friends, family and time alone all matter.

Balance is a very important part of a good marriage, and it’s something you get better at the longer you’re together. When you focus too much on one area of your life, you can miss out on a lot of good things in other areas. As you and your spouse grow older together, finding the right balance between all the things that matter to you is a great way to keep your marriage strong and healthy.

7. Always have each other’s back.

No matter what might be going on around you, don’t ever give up on each other. If you can’t trust your spouse to stand up for you, whom can you trust? That doesn’t mean you’ll always agree, or that you’ll never “drop the ball” when you should have been helping, but it does mean that you have love and respect for one another that comes through, in spite of anything else going on.

When you focus on showing each other you care, and when you make the time to do things for and with your spouse, you can keep your marriage strong. It takes work, time and dedication, but it’s worth every bit of effort you’ll make. Good marriages provide security, love, laughter and plenty of other great things to life, and the longer the marriage lasts, the deeper the love often grows. Taking time to focus on your spouse and your marriage can help strengthen that love and make it last a lifetime.

 

John and Wendy, who both have Masters degrees in Clinical Counseling, run a crisis marriage counseling practice, Marriage Rescue Associates. Their practice specializes in solution-oriented therapy, which in turn equates to long lasting marriages. They offer everything from counseling to marriage retreats, which attributes to their 90% success rate.

 

What are some things you do to draw closer to your spouse that could be added to this list?

 

Which of the seven ways have you found to be most helpful in your marriage and why?

 


 

Disclaimer – I have no affiliation with Marriage Rescue Associates, nor am I receiving funds for sharing John and Wendy’s post today. Additionally, I am not personally acquainted with John or Wendy nor their business, but feel that what they’ve shared with us today are valuable insights that I wholeheartedly agree with and support. I hope you will let them know that you appreciate their wisdom in our comment section below! Thanks so much!

 

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  • Thanks so much for hosting your linkup party, Beth. Have a wonderful week!!

  • I love all the points you’ve listed here John and Wendy. # 6 particularly stands out. It’s true that you get better the longer you are married. We are still young in marriage but in those early days I was way out of balance! The scale tilted my ways of course 🙂 but over the course of our almost 7 years, we have learned to harmonize and find that rhythm of grace. We are not perfect but we (or I) am not where we used to be 🙂 Great post, thank you Beth for hosting!

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    These are great points, and I hope that they are saved to many Facebook walls, and taped to a multitude of refrigerators.

    I would add this – it applies to all of the points, really…

    Care of the marriage is a habit, and like all good habits it needs both nurturing, and a safe place to develop. It’s very hard to start doing specific things to strengthen a marriage when you’re in the middle of an external (or internal) crisis.

    I speak from experience – I’m very ill, and my fight for survival has done a lot to drive my wife and me apart. As an example…to be sure I can physically make it through the pain of tomorrow I have to push as hard as I can through the pain of today. (I have a background in paramilitary security work, and am used to not sparing myself under other circumstances, so this comes easy to me…sort of. For a more detailed exposition, you can click on my blog link below…which is also included in the linkup above.)

    My wife HATES this attitude, and I can understand it; she doesn’t want to see me suffer. But it sure doesn’t engender tender and sweet shared moments. She backs off, both physically and emotionally, and I’m in my own private Alamo.

    It’s tempting to say that the situation would not be conducive to marriage care in any event, but the temptation comes from the desire to absolve myself from responsibility.

    If I had been more intentional in following some or all of the steps outlined in your essay – and I did know about them – I think we would be a lot more comfortable today.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/01/send-it-i-wont-back-down-five-minute.html

  • Nan

    What a great post! My hubby and I have been married 31 years, and have raised our children and yet, I honestly don’t know how any of this happened, lol! It just doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.

    Obviously, our walk with the Lord is extremely important (in fact, the MOST important in my opinion, for out of it comes everything else). Also important is communication, friendship, humor…..my husband and I can still make one another laugh even after all these years.

    I think it’s crucial to keep talking, keep sharing, keep opening up to one another, make time for one another, and guard your husband’s reputation (do not husband bash). Your relationship is a lot more rewarding than a laugh at his expense.

    Thanks for hosting today!

  • Mary

    Lovely ideas! I am not currently married but there are times I reflect on things that were missing and the big theme is intentionality. Letting your spouse know you love him, spending alone time, doing things together and your list goes on. Thank you for this key points because I can see how building into your spouse grows a great marriage.

  • stasia08

    Attention… that is key… we get so distracted we forget about that!

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  • Spouse Dates

    “Friends, family and time alone all matter” – how true that is. Balance is so important and, like you mentioned, it is a skill that you can get better at over time. I know it can go both ways but I think it is more helpful to think of the kind of balance we need in marriage as a verb rather than as a noun. It is something we do, a skill be develop rather than a state of being or something that is attained once and for all. Life and marriage is like a dance, and if you think of how a ballerina balances, the reality is very dynamic. Great article. Thanks for sharing. Steve

  • LOVE #7…excellent post!

  • Love this! Years ago I went through Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge. She challenges you not just to never say anything negative about your husband, but to encourage him daily. It transformed the way I looked at our marriage and I am so thankful for it! With that in mind, I would say #7 has been the most helpful, but 1 & 2 are equally important to us. 🙂

  • John & Wendy

    We appreciate the positive reaction that you all have expressed after reading this! We put a lot of work into it!

  • Thank you so much for the great reminders John and Wendy! With us having our first baby who is now 6 months old number 4 and 6 really designated with me. I work hard to find time to continue to stay active. And times that we can interact with others and each other!

  • All of these points are very important. My husband and I love to spend time alone together. He always is the one bringing up sweet old memories and of our early love.
    Thanks very much for brushing us up on these things that matter so much John and Wendy. And thanks Beth for sharing this with us, have a super blessed day!
    Love

  • Gina Duke

    Great article. I need to focus more on #4. I want us to live long and happy lives together!

  • rboerner

    Over the past year we implemented a TV night every week to just snuggle on the couch and our 12 year old son gets a special TV night in the basement which he LOVES. We also have my mom keep our son one Saturday out of the month so we can have an evening together. So very grateful to have her in our lives and be so willing to take Tyler out for some Grandma fun time. This year we began our year by focusing on our bodies and are trying to get them healthy. Need to stay “sexy” for each other. 🙂 All great reminders. Thanks for sharing!

  • It’s almost 39 years around here. And I still love looking for those times and spaces to let him know I’m still crazy about him …

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