Consumed with Status Quo

Fishing laziness - Caloundra 

I know I’m dating myself here, but this topic reminds me of the popular 70’s disco tune, “Rock the Boat.” Are any of you old enough to remember it? The balladeer wanted everyone to know that he didn’t want his “baby” rocking the boat, or to put it another way, changing the status quo of their relationship.

Ever felt that way?

In marriage, we can easily become consumed with protecting the status quo. If we have a stressed relationship to begin with, we worry that challenging the status quo will break it altogether. But there are many other reasons that we cling to status quo. See if you find your reasons in this list …

8 reasons we settle for status quo:

  1. We fear conflict (my personal favorite!).
  2. We like the familiar and fear the unknown.
  3. We dislike the pain and awkwardness that change requires.
  4. We feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the changes our relationship needs.
  5. We fear others will reject us if we are true to our convictions.
  6. We deceive ourselves into believing it’s working on some level.
  7. We feel in control when things remain the same.
  8. We feel that surrendering it all to God means less for us.

I’m sure there are more reasons that any of us could’ve listed, but they all seem to boil down to one word – management. When we resist positive change and embrace status quo, we are trying to manage our world. In other words …

We are trying to play god.

We are allowing our fears, our need for safety, comfort and predictability to override God’s urging to take BIG steps of faith in His ability.

My husband and I had something of an argument or maybe more like “butting of heads” recently. Ironically, we’ve been doing a 14-Day Rejoice Challenge that I will be sharing with all of you in the near future. Well, today’s challenge was to “confess.” Unfortunately, I didn’t think I did anything wrong during our “B.O.H” session! (Ha!) But I prayed that God would show me any offensive way in my actions (challenging the status quo). Needless to say, God didn’t hesitate to reveal my many sinful attitudes and actions.

In all honesty, it hurt to have to confess and apologize to my husband. I’ve never grown fond of the taste of humble pie—no matter how many times I must partake of it. But what kept echoing in my mind was … is my God big enough to walk with me through this or not?

The answer is a resounding, “Yes, He is!”

  • Our God calms our fears when we don’t feel strong enough to face the fight.
  • Our God empowers us with ALL that we need for each challenge.
  • Our God rights the wrongs that we can’t make right on our own and in ways that we can’t see with our physical eyes.
  • Our God can fill us with joy as we surrender to Him, and we’ll wonder why we waited so long to experience it!
“Taste and see that the Lord is good;  
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

Photo credit by DeSnousa (Flickr)

Today’s Post is Linked to –
NOBH 

 

  • Amen! I thank God for grace, and even when the job of transformation gets messy, He will never give up on us 🙂

  • Lauren Holmes

    That’s so cool that you’re willing to look at the good and the bad. I often think I’m never doing anything wrong either!lol…and then God shows me otherwise. 🙂 Blessings! Lauren, lholmes79.wordpress.com

  • I can relate to that list and wanting to manage things to my liking. Playing god is a good description. Praying for the humility that only He can give. Great post!

  • Amy Thornton

    This post hits home for me. Recently I discovered that another of our couple friends is divorcing. It hit me out of left field. And, naturally, had me doing some soul searching in my marriage and my success or failure at being the spouse God wants me to be to my sweet husband. It’s difficult when you are looking at things in the light of complete honesty to acknowledge that change needs to happen. It’s even worse when you know the change has to come from you! Thank you for this post and your timely and sage words reminding me that God is in control of it all. I’m visiting today from NOBH.

  • Pam

    Good, timely post! I am working hard to challenge status quos, and not to fear the unknown!

  • messymarriage

    I think we forget that, Michele-Lyn–the the “job of transformation gets messy.” But so glad that we have a God who doesn’t mind getting his hands in the mess and creating a new and beautiful thing out of our lives. Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me!

  • messymarriage

    Yeah, it’s so easy to deceive ourselves into thinking we’re all okay and that our partner is the only one to blame. That keeps us stuck and I don’t want to waste another minute stuck when I have a great Rescuer in my God! Thanks so much for coming by, Lauren!

  • messymarriage

    Yeah, no one ever intentionally works toward a divorce. It often happens when we are not paying attention to our hearts or submitting them moment by moment to God. I’m so glad you found this helpful. I’ll have to check out your blog next, Amy! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    Yay! I hope that challenging the status quo brings about new healing and God-possibilities! Thanks so much for encouraging me, Pam!

  • JosephPote

    Yes, change is difficult. Yes, we fear losing control…or at least the illusion of control…

    Decisions become much easier once we decide to do whatever God calls us to do regardless of the outcome…and leave the outcome up to Him.

    But getting to that point is not easy…and it’s a place that is easy to drift away from…

    Thank you for digging deep, Beth!