Did I Marry Mr. Wrong? Video

Slop Joe Time6

 

Hey there! I hope you’ll take a few minutes to watch my latest edition of “Sloppy Joe Time.” I’m exploring the sloppy expectation that marriage should be easy, and if it’s not, then we married the wrong person.

 

 

The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married.” -John Fischer

What sloppy expectations did you bring into your marriage in the early days?

 

How did that create an unrealistic pressure on you, your mate or your marriage?

 

 

Signature - Beth Blessings

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Linking up with – Marriage MondaysMaking Your Home Sing MondaySunday Stillness, Sharing His Beauty and Playdates with God

  • Gosh, woman! You’re so wise. Thanks for putting some of those lies we’ve believed right on the table, and reminding us that we need to own our own stuff instead of always pointing the finger elsewhere.

    What do you bet that while we’re thinking about Mr. Wrong, he’s thinking about Mrs. Wrong. What a waste of time. What a field day for the enemy.

    I love these late Sunday afternoon visits with you, friend. This is good stuff.

    • Really? I just feel like you would be saying these same things if you were talking to a computer camera! And then, maybe that’s why I think YOU are so wise! It takes one wise woman to know another! 😉 Yes, these sloppy expectations are more like “take off all of your spiritual armor and go up against Satan’s fiery arrows.” We put ourselves in the vulnerable position to begin with and then wonder why our marriage stinks! ha! Love ya, girlfriend!

  • I love how “real” you are in these videos. You explore marriage in a way that gives us all real life connections because you tell your own story. I know I have told you before but one of the drawbacks of my own marriage was not always having Christ as our center. Thank you for the reminders today! Hugs!

    • Yep, it’s an often scary place to start, but what’s even scarier is sharing about “sloppy expectations” I have at work in my marriage even today! I haven’t taken these videos to that level yet, but I’m sure–given time–God will prompt me to “go there!” Yes, not having Christ at the center is so crucial to a marriage growing and blossoming into a beautiful garden of Love. Maybe you’ll get another crack at that someday, Mary! And the way your heart appears to me now, I’m sure you’ll have a “garden” that could be on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, my dear! <3

  • Interesting – I was thinking on this overnight, after a somewhat difficult weekend.

    My wife and I came into marriage with wildly divergent expectations. She came from a strong family with a good Christian upbringing. Mine was “keep your head down and get through it”.

    She’ll try to improve situations to match her expectations, while I adjust my expectation to meet perceived reality.

    My way is not very good, because it doesn’t call out the best in my wife. I have to learn to do more.

    • Yes, very often we are drawn to a mate who has opposite ideals and expectations, Andrew. And even when we find ourselves in a relationship where we share much of the same views, we still can find ways to be unhappy about it! 😉 I’m glad to hear that you’re evaluating the issues and trying to gain perspective on your marriage. That tells me you are insightful and proactive! I know! Not exactly how you feel at the present! I’ll be praying for you that you are able to “call out the best in your spouse.” Something we all should aspire to!

  • Oh my goodness, is there enough space here? I’m married for the second and last time to a wonderful Christian man who is quite the opposite of me. The introvert to my extrovert and the passive follower to my “let’s do it!” leader. I sometimes get upset at his (as I perceive it) unwillingness (but as it really is-his inability) to initiate things and it drives me crazy that it sometimes appears as a monkey-see/monkey-do thing. BUT, because of my nature, I ask myself, would I REALLY want to be married to another ME? Ugh! One of me is quite overwhelming! I couldn’t handle two of me. The first marriage…oh my, well, we were young. Really young. And I had a lot of issues which I thought would become non-issues as soon as my new husband made them all better! HA! He was more messed up than I was and never grew up. His alcoholism and my “religion” which I found after we were married butted heads until we no longer could give each other anything. Oh, I could go on, but I won’t. I have not seen your blog before and it took me a few minutes to get that it was in video form, which I think is terrific! I love all the subtitles. I’m in awe, because I have no idea how to do all that! I look forward to spending some more time that I don’t have watching some of your other ones! Nice to connect with you, Beth!

    • I’m so glad you stopped by, Mary! You have a ferocious sense of humor too! Love it! And it sounds like you’ve had a few “sloppy expectations” along the marriage way as well! Isn’t it crazy how we can believe that our spouses will turn our lives from boring and hard to exciting and easy?! That’s an awful lot to expect of the guy who can’t remember to pitch his socks in the hamper! Ha! Gotta love our guys, though! And I wholeheartedly agree that if I married someone just like me, I’d be pulling my hair out! Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, and I hope to see you more around the www!

  • What sloppy expectation did I bring into marriage…mhhhh, they are so many I don’t know where to begin! haha. Today i was editing my manuscript and in the chapter i was talking about how I expected my husband to help on the domestic front and what I did when he didn’t. Unfortunately, my husband was as domestically challenged as i was, that always set us up for a great deal of heart ache. because the small domestic things always become big relationship things.

    Wonderful video, again!

    • Yeah, I’m finding the same thing to be true, Ngina, as I brainstorm the “sloppy expectations” I’ve brought into marriage–an endless list! Oh and I had that same faulty expectation of my husband when he didn’t jump to help me and, if he didn’t, I was nothing short of a “woman scorned!” 😉 Yes, domestic expectations can be real deal breakers for many couples–especially when one of the spouses was raised by a parent with meticulous house cleaning skills. I’m so grateful you stopped by, Ngina! I know you are super busy, so seeing you here is a real treat!