Falling Forward

Sometimes I let the doubts about who I ammessiness and allget me down.
I wonder, How can I ever lead others into healing and wholeness in marriage or life, if I don’t have it all together myself?  
The reality is that very often I don’t feel qualified. I don’t feel capable. I don’t feel strong enough or useful enough.

We All Fall Down

I think that sometimes people look at me as a pastor’s wife or as a counselor and think that I must be super healthy and always make the “proactive” choice. But the reality is that I’m human and fall down …
So then, you might ask me, What qualifies you to help others?  
I think it’s because every single time I falter or fall (and to be clear, I’m not talking “falling” in an immoral sense!),  I make the choice to …

Reach for Christ’s hand and he helps me get back up. 

The fact is, if I tried to “get up” on my own, I’d fall right back down … on my fanny. (I know, because I’ve tried!)

So it all comes down to learning how to fall forward.

Let me give you a day in the life …
When I sense those negative internal messages popping up, I may indulge them depending on my circumstances or my hormones for a while. Sometimes it actually feels good to feel sorry for myself—to hunker down in my sweet-pity-pot-spot. I might actually stay there a while if I don’t …
  1. Pray and read my Bible daily – I really need my time with God or I fall prey to Satan’s schemes. He wants to see me defeated—especially since I’m trying to help others. (Eph. 6:11)
  2. Make time for (same-sex) godly friendships – if I don’t get my regular “girlfriend time,” I grow weary and more negative. It’s just a given. (Heb. 10:24-5)
Those practices and outlets are the foundation, but in order to truly fall forward I must also …
Rest in Christ

I can’t change my messes, failures or even my insecurities.  
However, when I rest in or surrender to Christ’s work in my life, things change—I change.
Christ is a gentleman and never barges in on my messes. But when I invite him to help me, he begins the work of redeeming the messes I’ve made. He redeems not only the messes in my marriage, but also the mess that I am.
When I’ve surrendered that hurt, that insecurity—that mess to Christ—I am able to stand again. Then he gives me …

God allows me to experience empty, dry places. He walks with me through those hard times or those insecure moments, teaching me, not just how to get up from my fall, but also how to take steps forward after the fall. So I take every problem I’m facing and learn from it. I ask Christ to help me use it for good in my life and in other’s lives. 
I’m not perfect—never claimed to be. But I’m not going to stay down after a fall as long as I’ve got the great, big, strong God that I do! How about you?

Photo by ShutterMoth (Flickr)
Today’s Post is Linked to – No Ordinary Blog Hop


  1. Deidra Manning says:

    I have similar feelings all the time, and I read a quote that really helped me – “It seems to me the people most qualified to talk about hope are the ones who have been hopeless and lived to tell about it.” – Emily Freeman God gives us our experiences to help others. We can’t wait until we’re perfect – we’ll never be. I’m glad He’s good at working with what He’s got!

  2. Tara_pohlkottepress says:

    i have a pity-pot-spot too 🙂 I try to not make it super inviting though…only a stiff chair and a weird smell so that I want to leave as soon as I get myself together 🙂 great thoughts as always.

  3. messymarriage says:

    So glad that I’m not alone on this one–although, I’ve been around too long to know that everyone stumbles. 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by and encouraging me, Tara!

  4. messymarriage says:

    I love that quote. I will have to reuse it, Deidra! I try to remind myself of that sentiment all the time. it can get rough out there and I just wanted to let people know that I’m in this mess with them as well. Thanks for encouraging me, Deidra. I appreciate it! Hugs*

  5. I think I need some of that girlfriend time! 🙂

  6. messymarriage says:

    Let’s do it, my sweet friend! After all, it’s just “a given” – we NEED our girlfriend time! 😉

  7. Ro elliott says:

    great post…oh falling forward and letting Him catch us…then turning and being able to help those with the help He gave us….I like walking with people how know that they are not perfect…Blessings as we keep falling forward….

  8. messymarriage says:

    I think we share the same heartbeat, Ro. I like “walking” with those kinds of people too. They sometimes are hard to find, but when I find them, they are treasured! Thanks, as always, for stopping by to encourage! 🙂

  9. Wonderful wisdom here, Beth…yes, let’s fall forward into His loving arms…like the practical tips of being in His word and also girlfriend time 🙂 Thanks 🙂

  10. I am in real need of some “girlfriend” time. It does make a huge difference, doesn’t it?

  11. “When I’ve surrendered that hurt, that insecurity—that mess to Christ—I am able to stand again.”

    I’m relying on this truth. Thank you, Beth, for the encouragement I find here.

  12. messymarriage says:

    Thanks so much for your encouraging words, Dolly. I’m with you on “falling” into our Father’s loving arms. It’s the best! 🙂

  13. messymarriage says:

    I hope you find that girlfriend time. I’m having some tonight! Yay!

  14. messymarriage says:

    Thanks, as always, Lisa for your encouragement and kind words!

  15. We all fall at times. I love how you say to learn how to fall forward though. So good! Very encouraging! Thank you~

  16. This brings such a wonderful image to mind of Jesus, dressed in his best, patiently waiting to be invited in to help me with my mess. Love it!

    I think that picture you used is me earlier this week, curled up in my “oh my gosh what do I think I’m doing what makes me think I have anything to offer or that I can actually help others?” :-0

    Just this morning in my devotional I read:
    There are several ways to protect yourself from self pity. When you are occupied with praising Me, it is impossible to feel sorry for yourself. Also, the closer you live to me, the more distance there is between you and the pit.

    Wise and straight to the heart convicting words for me today. Thanks for joining that chorus that I needed to hear!

  17. messymarriage says:

    Thanks for your encouragement, Kristin!

  18. messymarriage says:

    I really think those who respond to God’s call to serve and help others are going to be constantly challenged and “accused of not having enough” by Satan. I try to remind myself that the battle isn’t always against “flesh and blood.”

    I also agree that self-pity is my enemy too. It’s so hard to avoid that slide sometimes, but turning to God certainly pulls me out of that “pity pot spot.” 🙂

    Thanks so much for your encouragement and support, Kim! I’ll pray for you in your struggles as well.

  19. Anna-Marie says:

    Great post, every fails at times, it how strong you are if you get up and move on and forward. having a good cry every now and then is completely acceptable:) Thanks for linking up to the NOBH

  20. GenevieveElias says:

    Thank you! I have a way of faltering myself (Don’t we all) and sometimes forget to let the Lord catch me and help build me back up.