For the Wife Who Feels Empty in Marriage – Guest Post and Linkup!

Fill Your Soul

Today we are honored to have our bloggy friend Ifeoma Samuel sharing a guest post and hosting Wedded Wednesday! I hope you’ll check out her blog – Purposeful and Meaningful as well as making her feel welcome with lots of comments below!

Happily married to a loving man, blessed with a daughter—everything seemed to be going well.

Until, the feeling of emptiness towered down my soul, a vacuum begging to be filled, the gaping hole in my heart exposing an untouched layer that needs to be reached.

I searched deep within … I looked for something … yet nothing seemed out of place, but still emptiness clouded my heart.

Have you ever felt this emptiness?

I understood what it feels like to be in a happy home, but had this gut feeling that something was missing.

How could I explain my feelings to anyone? What was I going to say? Was I being ungrateful?

Maybe you think so, but until that longing was satisfied, my search was far from over.

Your Emptiness can be a Good/Bad thing. Which one is it?

  • Emptiness can be an assignment.
  • Emptiness can be lack of fulfillment.
  • Emptiness may be covering up a hidden weakness in your life.
  • Emptiness can be discontentment and ingratitude towards life.
  • Emptiness can be comparison and ungodly competition
  • Your emptiness may be a calling to come up higher.

How to Overcome Your Empty-Feeling

Power of Prayer: Don’t underestimate the power of prayer over your emotions. Prayer is our means to discover answers and listen for instructions.

My life changed because I found what it was at His feet. Right there in God’s presence—that restless search was over.

At your place of prayer, the Lord reveals that which your heart longs for (1Chronicles 28: 9).

Journal: I took notes of what the Holy Spirit whispered and the missing pieces came together. When God exposed my weakness, He made me realize that I had a void only He could fill and whatever thing I held dearly was never going to fill up my emptiness.

[Tweet “I was expecting marriage to be a ticket to happiness and fulfillment.”]

[Tweet “I hung my expectation for fulfillment on marriage, career and children. #faultyexpectations”]

My longing was for a fulfilled life.

Are you making this same mistake?

Are you laying unnecessary burden on your loved ones, burdens that only God can bear?

Place God at the Centre: As wives, we should always remember we are first God’s daughters. This role cannot be replaced. Whether our feelings of emptiness are as a result of what we have failed to accomplish, we can trust God to help us through.

The more functional we are in fulfilling our roles as daughters of the King, the more we become saturated with His peace that translates into every area of our lives.

Allow God to work in you:  To experience a fulfilled life, we need to yield ourselves to God. As God works in and through us, He saturates us with His peace.

“Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.” ~Isaiah 55:1-2 (KJV)

When we allow God to work in us …

  • Our weakness will be exposed and replaced with His Strength.
  • We will be saturated with His water until our thirst is quenched.
  • Our hearts will be healed and made whole
  • The vacuum in our hearts will be filled up.

Can you trust God to fill your emptiness with His Gracious love and Peace?

Open your heart to someone: I felt this journey of discovery was mine and mine for keeps.

Hoot! I need people to help. We need Godly Counselors to encourage and pray along with us.

Let Us Pray..

Lord, open our hearts to see more of you. Fill us and saturate us with your love and peace. Fill our emptiness and quench our thirst. As we walk with you, Lord Jesus, let the void we feel be plunged into the sea of your amazing grace in Jesus name.

 

Have you ever felt something was not quite right in marriage? what was it and how did you overcome?

 

Ifeoma 200 size

By His Great Grace,

Ifeoma Samuel

 

 


Joining with my friends at Giving Up on Perfect, Wifey Wednesday, A Little R & R Wednesdays, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Coffee and Conversation, Coffee for Your Heart, DanceWithJesusFriday and Wholehearted Wednesday.

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  • This sounds very familiar to me! I was the same way until God revealed the truth to my heart about 12 years ago!! A marriage, children or anything else can satisfy us…but God. I have been teaching my kids this truth, too.

    • That’s true, we are satisfied in Christ Jesus.
      God Bless Aimee

  • Beautiful post, Ifeoma! We often expect to feel completely fulfilled and happy by our ideal of the “perfect” anything. It puts unreal expectations upon the shoulders of our loved ones because they can never completely fulfill us – only our Jesus can! Thank you for blessing me tonight (as usual!)!
    Hugs,
    Lori

    • You echoed my thoughts loudly, friend.
      Hugs and Blessings to you

  • Bev @ Walking Well With God

    Ifeoma,
    Thank you for sharing from the heart. I too, have felt empty, when I hung my expectation of being fulfilled around the neck of someone human. It just doesn’t happen that way. Only by abiding and seeking our fulfillment in our relationship to Christ, can we truly be happy. It is not the job of others to “make” us happy.
    Blessings to you this day,
    Bev

    • So true Bev. every time we set our expectations on people we get disappointed!

      Thanks for joining in.
      Hugs and sweet blessings

  • Ifeoma…what a great post! Going through that right now and SO needed the reminder!! Beautifully said.. <3

    • Hey Pat! Thank you for heading over to read.

      I appreciate your encouragement

  • Mary Flaherty

    Ifeoma, it’s good to see you here! Great points. I think that many women get married thinking that will end all their unhappiness and their new husband, like that proverbial prince on a white horse, will rescue them. The truth is…well, anyone who is married knows that not to be so, of course…and the only one who can truly rescue us is Jesus. And as Lori said, it puts unreal expectations on the shoulders of our loved ones…that’s not fair to them, or to us. Thanks for sharing this.

    • I was not far from thinking this way too! It is freeing to know that Jesus is our sufficiency.
      Thank you Mary for your encouragement.
      Many Blessings to you

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  • Much wisdom in your words, Ifeoma. Our husbands are a blessing to us but not ever meant to fulfill us or give us purpose. That only can come from the One who created us. May we not put a burden on our husbands they were never meant to fill. Blessings!

    • Well said, you gave a good summary!
      Thank you Joanne.
      Sweet Blessings to you

  • Mary

    Thank you for these beautiful words, Ifeoma and how wonderful to see you here today. You outlined the possible reasons for emptiness and I read each one slowly to absorb how emptiness can look in someone’s life or even my own life. Your words then encouraged us to pray and I believe that prayer does make a difference.

    Thank you for your words today and for speaking about emptiness especially as something that can happen even when surrounded by loving people. Hugs and blessings!

    • I appreciate you, Mary!
      Emptiness can be as a result of one or more reasons. we just have to sort out what is the root cause of what we are going through.
      Much love, Mary.

  • Ifeomana, early in my marriage I went through a similar experience. The anticipation of having a soul mate and the reality of life left a gap. But God used it to draw me to Himself anew. I needed Him as much when I was married as when I was single. We are made to be filled with Him. Thanks so much.

    • Hey Debbie, It is amazing how God meets us in our messiness! Thank God for amazing Grace available for us.
      Many Blessings to you, Debbie

  • Rebecca

    I’ve felt this emptiness (even though things are fine) and also the same sweet whispering from the Lord to draw away and fill myself with Him. He has water to drink that will fill us so we thirst no more. Thanks for sharing.

    • Amen….He is the living water.
      God Bless, Rebecca

  • Amen! putting the burden of fulfilling your life on your spouse and family is not the answer! Yet so many people do it! God is the only one who can fill that emptiness. I love your suggestions to get there. Prayer is so important. I like to journal too and I think those two lead to the others and to eventually feeling fulfilled! Great post!

    • Hello Charlene, reading your comment made me smile. I am glad the post resonates with your heart.
      Many thanks and Blessings to you, Charlene

  • The Holy Spirit is so powerful when we are in tune. I love that you used your journal to hear His voice. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

    • Scriptures that address my weaknesses and encourage me to focus on Jesus in such times I scribble diligently. It is amazing when I go through those notes they are ever so refreshing.
      God Bless Mary

  • Thank you so much for sharing this post Ifeoma. You have really good thoughts and I am going to save them and come back and think through them carefully. I loved your idea of journaling the things the Holy Spirit whispers to you.

    • Thanks Judith.
      I am happy you found them useful.
      Many Blessings to you.

  • Lexie Robinson

    Thanks for hosting!

  • Hi Beth, thank you for giving the privilege to write for your audience. I am so grateful.
    Many blessings to you.

    • You are so welcome, Ifeoma! Your message is a powerful one and one that I know resonates with many. I was so glad to share it and highlight you and your blog, my friend!

  • I’ve been there many times, Ifeoma, in my long term marriage and you are so correct. Every time in God’s presence, I realized how much He cared and that any emptiness at all is due to not letting Him fill me up to the full!

    • Hi Mary, I am happy you shared your experience. Thank God for His grace.
      Thanks Mary for spending time here with us.
      Many Blessings to you

  • Hazel Moon

    Your reasons for that emptiness are all valid. I like your response to pray and journal what the Holy Spirit is telling you. Sometimes a woman needs a woman friend – – someone to share and pray with and for. My Foster daughter is one we bounce off ideas and thoughts with. My husband encourages and supports me to be free to work in my church even though he is not well enough to attend himself. Thank you for sharing with us at Tell me a Story.

    • I love this input, Aunt Hazel. You know sometimes we under-estimate the value of sharing our concerns with a friend.
      I’m happy your daughter fits into this role And your husband’s encouragement spurs you forward. You are so blessed Aunt Hazel.

      Thank you for taking time to stop over. I am deeply grateful.
      Many Blessings to you

  • Karen Del Tatto

    Ifeoma, I always enjoy reading your posts, posts that edify, encourage and spur me on.

    This one was no exception. It seems with empty nest came an empty feeling for me in my marriage. I know it was because I put “too much of myself” into my children at the expense of my husband; not placing him first as the Lord commands, and now needing to reconnect and redirect my focus onto my husband. The Lord has been merciful as I seek Him in prayer for help to honor Him through my marriage. I can already see the fruit of those prayers.

    I was also struck by your comment, “The more functional we are in fulfilling our roles as daughters of the King, the more we become saturated with His peace that translates into every area of our lives.” So very true.

    Thanks so much for sharing. I am leaving hear spurred on to live as a daughter of the King.

    Blessings,

    • Hi Karen, I always look forward to reading your sincere reflections on an article. I appreciate your kindest compliments.

      This may not come as a surprise to you but many women are in the same boat. We put all ourselves into kids, leave little for husbands and almost nothing for ourselves. Then emptiness sets in and we begin to wonder what is missing and how it got missing!

      I love that you shared your experience. I am sure not only I have learnt a thing or two from it.

      I pray the Lord grants us wisdom to strike balance in every situation and that we remember how to prioritize and do what is needful at all times.
      Many Blessings, my dearest friend.

  • The more functional we are in fulfilling our roles as daughters of the King, the more we become saturated with His peace that translates into every area of our lives. I love this! Life’s not easy, but it’s easier to walk through with Jesus helping us carry our burdens.

    • Yes, Lori. We need His help to navigate through life and marriage is no exception.
      Thank you for your constant encouragement. I do appreciate it, friend.
      God Bless

  • Lisha Epperson

    “At your place of prayer, the Lord reveals that which your heart longs for.” Yes and amen – only in the place of prayer. Thanks for sharing your wisdom on the ministry of marriage.

    • Thanks Lisha, for taking time to read and leave a comment too.
      Hugs and Plenty Blessings to you

  • Intentionally Pursuing

    Ifeoma, I remember all too well that empty feeling. It hit about 7 years into our marriage, the 7-year itch they call it. I spent far too long looking for people and things to fill me up in a way only God can. He is the only One who can satisfy that longing. Thank you for sharing your heart, friend, at #IntentionalTuesday. : )

    • Hi Crystal, thank you for sharing your experience here.Yes Only God can fill us and satiate our thirst.
      Thank you for stopping over gracious friend.
      God Bless

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  • Ifeoma, it’s true, it happens when we expect too much from our partner and forget that our first duty is to take care of ourselves and give God the space to work in us and through us.

    • Amen Sister! I hear you on this.
      Thank you for joining the table. I appreciate it.
      Blessings to you

  • Beautiful! Thank you for sharing this, Ifeoma. So glad that when we turn to God we can have all of our longings fulfilled! Wishing you and Beth, lots of blessings! Marva | sunSPARKLEshine

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