Giving My Husband the "Royal Treatment"

I’ve shared this before—I’m a genealogy geek. And I’ve snagged some interesting findings that reveal a lot about me, my husband, and ironically, our relationship. Here’s some of what I’ve found …

I have several very distant lines that lead to royalty in my family. I’m a descendant of dozens of knights of England, several medieval crusaders from France, several French kings, and last but not least, the famous emperor Charlemagne.

Lifesize Religious King Statue with Spear

Amazingly, my husband also has royalty in his family tree. His ancestors include many knights from England, one who was Lord Mayor of London in 1563 (who also had a bad habit of speaking his mind a little too freely about Queen Elisabeth the first, and often found himself jailed for such disrespect). Finally, this line goes back even further to several kings in ancient Wales, France and Italy.

But what’s even more mind-blowing, I discovered that within this royal line of my husband’s is an ancestor, “Moses White,” who’s also an ancestor of mine! Moses is our shared great-grandfather eight generations back. I guess you could say that makes us “kissing cousins!” Yikes!

Now I’m not telling all this just to brag on our illustrious ancestral history (well, just a little), but mostly I want to say, this really explains A WHOLE LOT.

  • First of all, it explains why I try to rule over my husband like I’m his “lord and master.”
  • I often think I’m queen of our castle and try to “chop his head off,” if he resists my orders.
  • I can let my tongue fly a little too freely just like my dear old jailbird grandpappy.
  • And I can be just like those chivalrous knights and crusaders when I “fight to the death over an issue simply because I think the principle is true, or more importantly—that I’m right!
But then I come smack dab, nose to nose with a passage like this …

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” Ephesians 5:23-24 (NIV)

Ancestral excuses aside, it doesn’t matter how I’m wired or who I’m descended from or how true my purpose is (which usually isn’t as true as I think it is). God wants me to submit to my husband and not because my husband is superior to me. God wants me to learn to give my husband what he needs for our relationship to be solid and strong …

Because every husband needs respect. 

And I cannot respect my husband without submitting—listening to, taking in, accepting, honoring—my husband.

And what about verse 25 in that same passage?

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her …”

I don’t know about you, but submitting doesn’t seem nearly as tall a task as loving and giving up your life for your spouse. Wives, I really think we’ve got the good end of the bargain here!

Now I must admit that this is still a work in progress for me. I’m strong willed and a little too analytical to let things slide easily … But I’ve come to recognize the power of submitting and respecting my husband. Yes, I said “POWER.”

When I’m humble and give my husband the respect and honor he deserves, I infuse my marriage with a power that could only come from the true King of Kings—Jesus! 
BTW, a great book on this subject is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs – check it out!

Photo by epSos.de (Flickr

Today’s Post is Linked to – No Ordinary Blog Hop and

  • Hi Beth – This is a great post. Have you ever heard of the book “Fascinating Womanhood” by Helen Andelin? She pretty much says the same thing. Not a Christian book, but written by a Christian woman. These are definitely things I need to be reminded of. Hmm, wondering about my lineage now…
    God bless
    Tracy

  • Love and Respect is a good book. I’ve read snippets here and there. FWIW, my ancestory has been traced back to the kings of england, too. Maybe we’re cousins? 😉

  • Faith

    Awesome post! loved the link with your ancestry too! 🙂 my husband is a direct descendant of one of the pilgrims on the mayflower….perhaps this ancestor was running from one of yours?! lol…..this was excellent, Beth!! am gonna direct one of my friends to read your blog….:)

  • messymarriage

    I haven’t heard of that book, Tracy. I’ll have to check it out. And maybe you “should” check out your ancestry. It can be very revealing and fun! Thanks for stopping by!

  • messymarriage

    Yeah, I “love” Love and Respect. My husband and I are also doing and enjoying the devotional Love and Respect. I’ve always thought that you had a “regal air” about you, Donna! 🙂 And I’ll own you as my long lost cousin any day! Hugs*

  • messymarriage

    Too funny, Faith! My apologies to your hubby, if that was the case! But it is awfully interesting to look back at into our family trees. It’s making history come more alive to me as well (it wasn’t one of my favorite subjects in High School).

    Thanks also for directing one of your friends to my blog. That’s very kind of you, especially if my ancestors were chasing your husband’s ancestors! 😉

  • Donna B.

    I don’t know a thing about my ancestors but I really enjoyed the article, Beth! I love your sense of humor!

  • Mac an Rothaich

    Your honesty had me grinning and I really appreciate your view on the scriptures male and female side.

  • Heather

    I believe we, as wives, have an easier duty in submitting than husbands do in loving and sacrificing. I loved the article!

  • Denise Oldham

    Amen.

  • e-Mom

    Some great writing on a difficult topic! I thoroughly enjoyed your post.
    Thank you for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Beth.

    Blessings, e-Mom ღ

  • Shannon

    Great article Beth!! I read Love and Respect about 6 months ago…its amazing how differntly men think. I am currently reading “Fue.or Women Only” by Shaunti Feldman. It has a similar persepective to the respect issue and how important it is to a healthy marriage.

  • nice A

    I learned submitting to my husband the hard way. We had to go through a series of conflicts first before I finally learn it. And you’re right! It takes a lot of humility to submit to our husband taking the King of kings as our example.
    Thank you very much for sharing your wonderful thoughts on this topic. Thanks also for leaving an encouraging comment in my post.

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad you did, Donna! Thanks for encouraging me! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    I really appreciate your kind words! “You” make “me” grin! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    Yep! I wholeheartedly agree, Heather. We’ve got it good! Thanks for stopping by and encouraging me.

  • messymarriage

    Thanks for stopping by, Denise!

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad you did, e-Mom. Thanks again for hosting! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    I love Shaunti Feldman too. I think we must have the same reading list! 🙂 Thanks for coming by and encouraging me!

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad you stopped by and encouraged me! You truly are “nice!” 😉