Today I want to share a post that brags just a bit about my husband—pointing out how he recently was there for me in my pain. To understand the significance of this lesson he’s learned in our marriage, you have to know where he’s come from in comparison to where he is now.
Years ago, whenever I was in pain—emotional pain, that is—it made my husband feel uncomfortable. So it was easy for him to move into “Mr. Fix-It” mode, thinking he was doing me the best service ever—like I needed my chassis lubed or Freon added to my coolant system or something. 😉
He wrote about that tendency way back in 2011 in the post, “Mr. Fix-It.”
Well, I’m proud to exclaim that he’s moved far from those “fix-it” fixations, my friends.
Now, on to the real and raw story . . .
With my shingles still persistently hanging around, I’ve been in an emotional funk lately. I know that it’s made me extra sensitive to other problematic issues that have recently erupted in my life. And just the other day I let them erupt out of me like Mount Vesuvius.
So maybe I do need some Freon added to my coolant system, after all!
But instead of my hubby reprimanding me for losing it, or giving me an impromptu five-point sermon on how I could improve my attitude and cope better (not that he would ever do those kinds of things! 😉 ) . . .
He simply let me lose it. #sweetsurrender
He even offered to hold me after I’d melted into a lump of tears. But I’m one of those weird women who doesn’t want to be held when I’m “that” upset. He could’ve taken that personally as well, but didn’t.
Thank you, God and Gary!
So do you know what he did do?
He just sidled up next to where I’d plopped down to weep and told me he loved me. He told me he was sorry and that he thought that what I was going through stinks.
I needed to hear those words. I needed to feel his nearness without him expecting me to respond or reciprocate. I needed to know he loved me even when I was not acting very lovable.
After all of these years of marriage, I think he’d learned and now knew exactly what I needed in that moment too. #changehappens
You can bet that I will remember that encounter, because I know it wasn’t easy for him. He’s deepened my love and bond with him because of that patient and gentle response when I was one whacked out woman.
What would you have wanted from your spouse in a meltdown moment like that?
What’s one lesson you’ve learned in your marriage or life that didn’t come naturally?
Also, since many of the respondents to my sexual hangups and hurdles questions have asked about remaining anonymous, I’ve created a survey that will allow that anonymity. So if you’re interested in taking this four question survey and letting me use your anonymous answers in my once-a-month series, you can access the survey here.
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