I’m a Perfect Mess

chicken little 57Do you remember when Kermit the frog sang, “It’s Not Easy Being Green” in one of those old Muppet Movies? Well, let me just say, I feel the same way, only my song says, it’s not easy being messy!

This is especially true when you’re a pastor’s wife and a marriage and family counselor, for heaven’s sake! But something within me, (God’s Spirit, I suppose) compels me to march on waving the banner for messy marriages and messy lives.
But! I really, really want to hide under the cloak of perfectionism—the guise that “everything is just fine!” 
After all, I’m supposed to have it all together, right? I’m supposed to know exactly how to handle each and every conflict. I’m supposed to be controlled by the Holy Spirit at all times—especially when tempers flare and circumstances implode. That’s all well and good, if I were floating on a cloud next to Jesus . . . in other words—DEAD!!
It’s true. On that day, I will have my perfect act down. And then it won’t be an “act.” It will simply be who God makes me to be . . . in His likeness. Of course, I’m working on that likeness gig here on earth too. But try as I might, I haven’t perfected it yet!
I say all this to remind you, my readers, that we are all human and full of messiness. The moment that any of us think “we’ve got this” is the moment that “we really don’t. And I’m not about to go on in this life believing or spreading the lie that perfectionism is better than humility and authenticity! Been there, done that, and I know without a doubt that it just makes matters worse.
I also know that being real about my struggles can help some of you to feel that you’re not alone. And I know that sharing the lessons I’ve learned through the mistakes I’ve made gives some of you hope.
But my prayer is that you will never really see me in the answers I write about, but that you will see Him, who is perfect, guiding me and therefore guiding you too. I pray that my messes can be used by Christ to convey His message of love and redemption for all of us. 

“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”” 1 Corinthians 10:12 (NIV) 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

Photo by Mysi (Flickr)


  • This was encouraging. Thanks for being real. My husband and I spent some years in counseling so I am a huge fan of counseling. (his pornography got us there, but so much more happened in that counseling room) Through counseling, God healed our marriage and much more.

    It is easy to think that counselors have it all together, because you have the tools-although I know that isn’t reality. Thank you again for being real. (found you through Imperfect Prose)

  • I guess I should add, for my wonderful counselor’s sake that put up with me for 2 years :), that he never acted like he had it all together either. I guess I meant more in general.

  • Beth, I really appreciate your honesty and human-ness! I still look up to you and am greatly encouraged that you continue to press on and help others to do the same. Thank you for using your God-given gift to minister to others! Donna B.

  • So true..take of the mask and be real. God wants us to be authentic and trying to be perfect just encourages masks.

  • My husband and I worked in the church for several years, and pretending left me empty. Thankful I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not with Him. He already knows all about me 🙂

  • i see him in you, beautiful friend…

  • this reminds me of a song from Ginny Owens, the lyric goes mey they hear You in me…yeah, even in my mess I want His perfume on my breath.

  • I hear Him here, just thought you ought to know.

  • Oh, we could be good friends :-). Thanks for your good words of truth.

  • Nice to ‘meet’ another imperfect married person. Thanks for being real. 🙂

  • Love this! Amen to being messy and REAL!

  • Nice to ‘meet’ another imperfect married person. Thanks for being real. 🙂

  • Beth, I really appreciate your honesty and human-ness! I still look up to you and am greatly encouraged that you continue to press on and help others to do the same. Thank you for using your God-given gift to minister to others! Donna B.

  • I guess I should add, for my wonderful counselor’s sake that put up with me for 2 years :), that he never acted like he had it all together either. I guess I meant more in general.