Is affection all that important in marriage? SJT Video

Affection in MarriageHowdy, Partner!

It’s “Sloppy Joe Time” again! And today I’m talking about how easy it is for me to hang out at Lazy Butt Ranch.”

You see, I’ve had this sloppy expectation, hoping that my hubby will let me just coast on the amount of affection I give him—especially since we’re hitched! But marriage doesn’t give me a license to ride this flimsy excuse into the sunset! Click the video below to see what I mean …

 

So have you visited this place in marriage? Or maybe you’ve decided to simply camp out there! Either way, tell me …

 

What has helped you to move out of your comfort zone with your mate?

 

What are some expressions of affection that you especially appreciate from your spouse?

 

FYI – If you’re interested in reading the post I mentioned in the video, click the link to go there directly – My Lazy Ways in Marriage.

Disclaimer – I realize that there are many couples/spouses who have legitimate and prohibitive reasons for a not-so-great sex life or expressions of affection in marriage. This post is not intended to shame or criticize those in that unfortunate situation in the least! This is meant for those of you—and you know who you are—that are simply lazy about giving expressions of love to your mates. Get along, little doggie! (Cowboy expression for those “not in the know!”)

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Linking up with – Marriage Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Making Your Home SingMondays @ Soul Survival,  Sunday Stillness,  Sharing His Beauty, Spiritual Sundays, Words with Winter and  Playdates with God

 

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  • My husband is more affectionate than I am too. Yes, it’s easy to get lazy; guilty as charged. I’ll try to high-tail it out of Lazy Butt Ranch myself. 🙂 I know hubby would greatly appreciate it. Thanks for the nudge, Beth.

    • It’s good to know I’m not the only one who struggles, Lisa. I couldn’t help but think about how compassionate you are to the down and out. I think sometimes we use up our “affections” so much in other relationships that our poor hubbies are left with the “left-overs.” I’m going to have to keep that in mind as I strive for a more affection in my marriage. Thanks for your encouragement. I was a bit worried no one would comment, since the topic is rather sensitive. 😉

  • bluecottonmemory

    So true – especially if your spouse is a physical touch love language!

    • That’s a great point, Maryleigh. And “physical touch” is one of my hubby’s top love languages. I think that means I have all the more work to do here on this issue in my marriage. Thankfully, my husband has been patient with me in this. It wasn’t “always” that way, but then I was actually much worse on showing affection years ago. Don’t know if it was the “chicken or the egg” that came first, but I do know what my role should be!

  • Lazy Butt Ranch! hahahha

    You’re too much, girl.

    I’m guessing that laziness in one area of marriage … or life … will simply spill over into the adjoining areas til this begins to define how we live. This is a good wake up call today. Please know that I’m going to remember your wise words. And maybe get my own butt in gear.

    Hugs …

    • Yes, that’s sadly the case, Linda. That’s one of the reasons I shared that link to my post on laziness in other areas of my marriage relationship. It’s so easy to coast with the one who vowed to love us for the rest of our lives, but that’s exactly who I should be giving my all to! Funny how we get that all backwards! Thanks for coming by and commenting. I was a bit nervous that no one would comment due to the sensitive nature or the fact that I called it “Lazy Butt Ranch.” I know that’s not acceptable to say in some Christian circles. In fact, I rarely use the term myself. But felt like it demonstrated the ugliness of this tendency, so I went with it. Love you, girlfriend! Your visits are always a highlight in my week!

  • Mary

    So glad to see Sloppy Joe time is back. You have such an easy way of talking to all of us plus the captions make the video worth watching! 🙂 I’m here to tell you to keep doing these because you have some wonderful snippets of information for so many. Hugs friend!

    • Thanks for saying, Mary. I hope that’s the way it’s coming across. I tend to be hyper-critical of my videos, so it’s nice to have the encouragement. Also it’s funny that you should encourage me to keep these up, because I’ve thought about slowing down. I try to do them every other week, but am considering the fact that they may not be as popular as a written post. I’m watching my stats on that, anyway. However, I do like spreading my efforts around on other types of social media. Thanks for you sweet words, my friend!

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    This is a very powerful and moving testimony, Beth – and sharing your own story makes it all the more compelling.

    Physical affection is all but gone here – partly because of my present situation. It hurts to be touched (even by clothing – I wear things very loose).

    Another reason is probably that it’s part of the goodbye process. Barbara has to step back a little bit, to protect her own heart.

    And perhaps the most important factor is that I’ve lost confidence, the confidence to be physically affectionate. I’m certainly damaged good physically, but as Barbara has learned more of my personal history (there was much I could not tell her until recently), I don’t feel comfortable with myself. There were too many things I had to do in life. The eyes are a window to the soul, they say, and when she looks into mine I fear for what she sees. Does that make sense?

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/08/your-dying-spouse-50-listening-to-doubt.html

    • Thank you, Andrew. It’s an area of my life that I am definitely not proud of, so people may not realize how difficult it is for me to discuss it. I’ve improved quite a bit over the years, but still have SO FAR to go! I think it will always be something of a weakness for me, but I’ll keep on trying. 🙂 And I can completely understand your need to pull back–especially considering your pain. Your description of your situation just breaks my heart, Andrew. Your vulnerability and humbleness are so very precious. You have also become such a sweet friend to me here in this blogosphere. I don’t like to think of you ever really dying, so in some ways I think I am in denial about it all. As always, you know that you are in my daily prayers–so I hope that you are feeling God’s comfort in your greatest time of need.

  • You have such a sweet way about approaching sensitive subjects. After so many years of marriage, laziness naturally comes around every now and then. You have to wake yourself up and remind each other why you are together in the first place and reignite that spark. It’s so easy to be so busy with life that we just don’t make time. Guilty! Thank you for the reminders as always. Sloppy Simon and Sloppy Nigel or whatever you choose. God save the Queen! ♥