Join the Couple Connection Challenge And WW Linkup!

Connect with Spouse

Recently I conducted a survey with men regarding the difficulties of being open with a wife or girlfriend. The survey is still ongoing, (and if you’re a man who’d like to participate, please click here) but so far the results have been very telling. I’ll be sharing about them soon.

Now I may be making an assumption here, but I think it is generally more difficult for men to be open in a relationship than for women. I think that’s because God wired the woman’s brain to desire conversational relating, while men typically desire relating to their spouses in non-verbal ways, if you catch my drift!

As a life-coach, I often see a tug-of-war between wives who want more conversation or quality time and husbands who want more physical affection and sex. They are both trying to connect in their own preferred way, but feeling hurt because their spouse is resistant to their preferred desires.

I’d like to offer wives, myself included, a “Couple Connection Challenge” (Or “Triple C”) for the next four weeks/30 days to focus on connecting with our husbands in a variety of ways. I’m going to start out very gradually, since I know many of you in truly troubled marriages need a slow start. I’ll be providing daily ideas for each week to begin these steps that welcome our mates into our arms, as well as, hearts. (If you are a man who needs to connect with your wife, then please feel free to join the daily challenges as well!)

Connection Challenge Blk

Week One of “Triple C” (Click here for a printable of this week’s challenges)

Day One
Make sure to initiate a kiss with your spouse sometime throughout your day. I think a surprise or “unforeseen” kiss adds a bit of spontaneity and romance to this simple act. (By the way, if this is too scary for you, then kiss your mate’s forehead or cheek.)

Day Two
Plan a date for the two of you. Talk to your spouse about when you can get it on the calendar. Then create your date around many of your mate’s favorite things to do and favorite places to eat.

Day Three
Pray for your spouse (on your own and not in front of him). Ask the Lord to bless your mate and to encourage him in your marriage. Then pray that you would love your spouse more deeply and be able to forgive him when tensions rise.

Day Four
Ask your spouse what was a “high” and a “low” in their day, then really listen. By that, I mean, give your mate good eye contact, face him, and don’t try to do something else while you listen to him. Then reflect back what you heard him say, even if it sounds like you’re parroting word for word. Ask your spouse if you got that right before moving on in the conversation.

Day Five
Ask your mate to do something with you today like: going for a walk together, watching a favorite show together, playing a game together, sitting and talking casually and positively about your day together, looking over an old photo album together while sharing with each other the memories that the photos stir, sitting out under the stars some evening and looking for specific constellations, etc.

Day Six
Compliment your spouse on a physical characteristic he has that you find especially attractive. This is often a lost art in marriage—exercising our “flirting muscles.” If yours are anything like mine, you have “flabby flirting muscles!”

[Tweet “Exercise your flabby flirting muscles with your spouse today!”]

Day Seven
Give your mate an impromptu shoulder or back rub—leaning in to whisper in his ear how much you love him.  

[Tweet “Join the “Triple C” challenge at messymarriage.com today!”]

 

What affectionate gestures does your spouse (husband or wife) especially like?

 

How can I pray for you and your spouse in this challenge or in life in general?

 

If your spouse is on the road or away much of the week, then think outside-the-box on these challenges. Some of them can be revised to a “virtual” connection through a phone call, Facetime, or Skype. Of course, the physical affection won’t be able to be shown, but you can tell your spouse what you’d like to do when he gets home! Maybe he’ll get home a little bit faster or at least with more “giddy-up” in his step!


Joining with my friends at Giving Up on Perfect, Wifey Wednesday, A Little R & R Wednesdays, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Coffee and Conversation, and Wholehearted Wednesday.

Join our Wedded Wednesday Linkup!
Add any links that are uplifting, helpful and encouraging to our spiritual lives, marriages and families!

Messy Marriage

Find our other WW buttons and guidelines here.

Unfortunately, I don’t have enough time to visit every blog that links up here, but I do try to visit the blogs of those who comment here. Most importantly, know that you all matter and provide great resources for this linkup. I’m so grateful for your participation!

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    These are GREAT ideas! This post should be a keeper – guys, bookmark this one.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/07/blogbattle-dream-of-peace.html

    • Thanks so much, Andrew! I appreciate your enthusiasm and support, my friend!

  • Nan

    Great ideas! It is so easy to let things slide or spend more time focused on the kids or the house, and neglect our husbands and our marriage if we aren’t intentional. Thanks for hosting today! So nice to have an actual post to link up, lol!

    • Yes, Nan, that’s exactly my thought too. I can forget about being intentional in my marriage and then when things start to “sour” I wonder why they are! ha! Yes, we have so much power to influence and improve our marriages. Thanks for your encouragement, my friend!

  • Your marriage posts are awesome. My marriage has been an incredible journey. It has improved so much and that we are blessed for. Thanks for th

    • I can tell that you have worked hard to remain connected to your hubby, Judith. Besides, it takes a special man to be supportive of a blogger, so he must be a great guy as well! 😉 Thanks for joining the kind words, my friend!

  • Thanks so much for the linkup. Your marriage posts are incredible. Thanks so much for sharing them each week.

  • terri presser

    What a wonderful challenge you have laid out. Thank you so much for your heart to help couples. Thank you also for hosting. Have a great week. Blessings

    • Thanks so much, Terri. Yes, helping others with their marriages truly is my heartbeat and passion. I appreciate you being in the line up of great links as well, my friend!

  • Pingback: Marrying The Haymaker()

  • stasia08

    I LOVE this, what easy yet meaningful ways to pour into our marriage. I think in light of new baby and all this will be a great way to continue to grow our relationship!

    • I bet it’s been hard to stay connected in meaningful ways with your husband, Stasia. Those little babies sure are energy and time consumers! Thanks for your enthusiasm. It is an encouragement to me!

  • Mary

    Great ideas! I have noticed how in tune my younger son is with his girlfriend and they already do many of these. It is a beautiful thing to see. Hoping your week is cooler and less hectic now that VBS is over. Hugs!

    • I know! They are really knocking it out of the park already! They made this really cute video the other day of their trip to Knoxville (where both have grandparents). It really showcases the splendor of young or new love.

      We must constantly work to keep the flames burning like they once did or better yet, burning brighter than they ever did! And yes, VBS was very hot but such a joy to see little lives impacted for Christ! Hugs back at ya!

  • Anastasia

    Great challenge and totally doable! We wives need to be intentional about making our marriages heavenly!
    -Anastasia
    anawins.com

    • Yes, you bring up a great point, Anastasia. Sometimes we try to bite off more than we can chew in our efforts to improve our marriages. Then we get bogged down and discouraged before we know it. It’s always best to start small and gradual but remain consistent as we push harder and farther. Thanks for joining the conversation!

  • Pingback: 6 Strategies for Transformation -()

  • Pingback: Guy Talk on Home Maintenance -()

  • Pingback: Reviving The Lost Art of Mentoring -()

  • Thanks again for hosting another great party! Looking forward to participating in the challenge… Will definitely share this on our social media sites…
    Have a great week!!

    • Thank you, Pat! I always love having you and Candy here in this space–commenting and linking up. I love your linkups too!

  • Love your Couple Connection Challenge idea, Beth! Very creative and I’m sure it will contain great ideas. So far Michael and I are a go on all the tips for Week One. Don’t know if that’s because we are older marrieds now who learned the hard way what not to do in a marriage…or if it’s because we are still somewhat newlyweds at only four years in on July 18 🙂 We look forward to next week’s tips. Hope you are enjoying the summer, my friend. I just returned from a 45 minute walk on a gorgeous sun bright yet temperate day. Sign me…Wishing Summer Would NEVER End!! xxoo

    • Yes, I think Gary and I have incorporated many of these practices into the fabric of our marriage as well. So it’s a bit easier to stay on top of things. And yes, I do think that age and experience has a lot to do with it. We, oldies (not you, Sheila, of course!), have a better idea of how important this stuff is to the vitality and health of our marriages. I love that you take long walks and enjoy the beautiful outdoors. I’ve been doing more of that as well. I’ve invited Gary to come along, but since he’s an “oldie” he has some jogging injuries that he’s trying to heal from! So I just walk and pray instead. Not a bad end to my day! Love ya!

  • This is great timing! With packing & moving over the next several weeks, I want to be more intentional about making sure Marcus feels loved, appreciated and respected!

    • Oh, I bet, Aimee! I can only imagine how distracting a big move would be. But what better time to focus on getting your home and marriage in tip top shape so that it is lived in and beautiful for many years to come! Congrats on your move and enjoy that man of yours! 😉

  • bluecottonmemory

    My husband and I had a discussion around when I turned 40, after getting hold of Don and Katie Fortune’s Spiritual GIft book for couples – where we identified needs for wholeness. Mine was being able to talk about my day – his was the need for about an hour to re-energize after work. It’s allowed me to accept who I am and be fulfilled in that way – and allowed me to make sure his needs are filled, too! Your Couples Connection Challenge is such an encouraging idea to keep focused, to not forget!!!

    • Hmm, I’ve not heard of that book, Maryleigh. Sounds like a great one to check out! I do know that John Townsend (Boundaries books) talks about his need to decompress before darkening the family door and encourages us to consider that in any given situation. We do need to be more sensitive to what our mates are up against as well as thinking about what is going on in our spouse’s hearts and minds. I think I’m like you, Maryleigh, in that I love being able to connect with my husband through the sharing of our day together. It’s been a constant in our lives and has really encouraged us in our marriage. Thanks for stopping in to say “hi!” It means a lot!

  • Pingback: Push Out of Your Comfort Zone And WW Linkup!()