I’ve yet to attend a wedding where the 1 Corinthians 13 passage on “love” was not quoted by some well-meaning clergyman in a wedding. Unfortunately . . .
But if we scrutinize and take the truths explained in this iconic passage to heart, we truly do see that they are bursting with pearls of wisdom.
So in this post and the next (in our series on how to “Persevere in the Lord” while in a discouraging marriage), I want to unpack the truths so that we know better “how to truly love” our spouses.
This week we will focus on the lessons found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6, and next week I will finish this up with an in-depth look at verses 7 and 8.
Ask yourself these questions . . .
“Love is patient.”
- Do I tend to rub my spouse’s nose in any mistake s/he has made; or extend grace?
- Do I come across as irritated when my spouse doesn’t do something quickly enough for me or to my satisfaction; or bite my tongue and remind myself that I love him/her?
“Love is kind.”
- Do I rarely think about how to please my mate; or am I intentional about doing things that make him/her happy?
- Am I too preoccupied to be generous and gracious with my mate; or do I regularly look for ways to give even when it costs me personally?
“It does not envy.”
- Do I grumble because my mate has some aspect of life easier than me; or am I grateful for this blessing in my mate’s life?
- Do I tend to compare my life negatively with my spouse’s and feel like a victim in my marriage; or do I feel grateful for the marriage God has given me?
“It does not boast. It is not proud.”
- Am I more focused on my mate acknowledging and appreciating my efforts in our relationship; or do I make a daily point to notice and affirm my mate for his/her efforts in our marriage and lives?
- Am I more focused on my needs and what I feel entitled to; or am I quick to brag on my spouse’s good qualities?
“It does not dishonor others.”
- Do I typically nitpick and point out my spouse’s faults; or do I respect my spouse’s differences?
- Do I feel it is my job to correct my mate and even do so in front of others; or am I protective of my mate’s self-esteem and feelings?
“It is not self-seeking.”
- Do I spend more time seeking, protecting and defending my interests and actions; or do I regularly act as if I am “for” my mate like a teammate would?
- Do I resist certain requests that my spouse has made of me; or do I regularly stretch out of my comfort zone for my mate?
“It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”
- Am I quick to feel and show anger to my mate, simply because s/he is my spouse; or do I redirect my focus upon the Lord to help me forgive my mate?
- Do I blurt out my feelings without censure when I am offended; or do I seek God’s help on being humble and kind in my responses?
- Do I keep a mental checklist of the many times my mate has done something wrong to me; or am I intentional about processing my pain with God—surrendering the hurts to Him?
- Do I secretly gloat over the problems my mate encounters due to his/her wrong actions; or do I have compassion and empathy for my mate’s pain?
Scan back over each of these “lessons in love” and see which one you personally need to improve on.
Then ask yourself: How should I begin to pray for myself on this? What is one small way that I can improve on loving my mate today?
Be sure to come back next week for a few more pointed and powerful questions on love related to verses 7 and 8! FYI, I’ll be back to posting videos coming up very soon! In the meantime, check out the Messy Marriage YouTube Channel! 😉
So, how well are you loving your mate?
What is your weakest action/attitude on showing love to your mate?
Linking up with these fine blogs – Making Your Home Sing, Moments of Hope, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Word of God Speak, Spiritual Sundays, Carolina @ Cisneros Cafe, Sitting Among Friends, Family, Friendship and Faith, and DanceWithJesusFriday