Livin’ on a Prayer – April’s "SYS"

April’s “Share Your Story” 
is by Becky Boerner
And I, Beth, am also excited to announce that Becky is our Newest MM Team member! Can I get a Woot, Woot?!!

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Bon JoviDo you recognize this face?

He was “the man” in the 80’s—Bon Jovi!

I remember listening to all of Bon Jovi’s songs with my very first boyfriend (who BTW just happens to be my husband now). 

I recently went to a Bon Jovi concert and as soon as “OUR” song began, I started to think about how my marriage has really lived out “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

Here’s how I was “livin’ on a prayer” for the last 25 years of my life/marriage …

My husband, Chris and I began dating at the young age of 15 and 17. We were madly in love with each other.

My prayer:  
“Thank you God for giving me a boyfriend. I do hope he is the one because I REALLY want to be married with a family one day. That would satisfy me!”

Chris left for the military and I was still in high school. The long distance thing wasn’t going to work.

My prayer:  
“Lord, I’ll never be able to live without him! Please give me the true love story. I love him so much! He completes me!”

Life went on. Chris and I dated other people. He even married someone for a VERY short time. We remained in periodic contact, but we’d both moved on.

No prayer:  
Unfortunately, I wasn’t focused on Christ at this time. I thought I didn’t need Him!

After being apart for a time, we both moved back to the same area. I inadvertently met Chris’ sister, which led to Chris and I reconnecting and the love bug striking again!

My Prayer:  
Prayer life still wasn’t strong, but I do remember thinking, Wow, God this has to be meant to be. Why else would you have brought him back in my life?

We were married in October 1996. We quickly learned that this whole marriage thing was not easy.

My Prayer:  
“God I love him. Why do we have to be going through these problems? Marriage was supposed to solve my problems!”

I got pregnant and then miscarried—DEVASTATION!  This time I got mad at God.

My Thought:  
“All I ever wanted in life was a family and you just took mine away from me. I don’t need You or the church.”

God continued to stir in my soul. I eventually looked for a church to get involved in.

My Prayer:    
“Lord, forgive me for walking away. I want my life to focus on your will. I still want a family, but Lord I trust what you have in store for my life.”

We were blessed with a beautiful baby boy! Thought he would help our marriage. Wow, was I wrong!  Many hardships began at this time in our life. We began to grow apart.

My prayer:  
“Lord I don’t understand why he’s being so selfish. Thank you for giving us a new child. I have my dream—a family! Please help Chris change. If only he’d just realize that You are the answer. Help him!”

We had lots of arguments. Our priorities were so different. We kept our distance but still tried to have a marriage that worked.

My prayer:  
“Lord, help me understand what you mean by submitting to my husband. But Lord he really needs to change so that our life can be better!”

I tried turning to God for my decisions at this point. I went back to school because God laid on my heart the importance of respecting my husband and that’s what Chris wanted me to do.

My prayer:  
“Lord, forgive me for not being respectful to Chris. Change me and help me see Chris as You see him.”

I’ve experienced healing through counseling. God’s given me a sense of direction—stepping out of a lot of commitments I was involved in to focus on my family. I’m involved in a prayer group just for my marriage. I believe God loves me unconditionally and has a plan for me but I need to trust Him—walking in faith!

My prayer:  
“Lord, I ask You, “CHANGE ME!” Help me trust You by being silent—not nagging—so that Chris will hear Your voice instead of mine. It’s You who gets to work the miracle, NOT ME!”

My marriage is far from perfect, but God’s in the middle of a good work and I plan to keep “livin’ on a prayer!”

Will you join me?

What “marriage prayers” have you seen God answer over the years?

Becky and her hubby, Chris

For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper, not to harm you; plans to give you hope for a future! –Jeremiah 29:11

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not be burned up – the flames will not consume you. –Isaiah 43:2

Bon Jovi photo by ejmc

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Linking up with – NOBH, Monday’s Musings, Matrimonial Monday, Playdates with God and Marriage Monday’s

  • Andrea

    Awesome 🙂 You inspire me.

  • Just love love that Jeremiah verse. Congrats on being the newest MM team member! I have just prayed to continue to be grateful for the amazing man with whom God paired me.

  • GailBP

    Interesting story…God is so good to bring us through the ups and downs. : )
    I’m just praying prayers of thanksgiving right now that God has helped two selfish people like my husband and me to stay married 42 years and still be each other’s best friends.

  • Heather C.

    Awesome post!

  • rboerner

    Yes, God is so good! When we said “for better or worse”, there was a reason. Congratulations on 42 years of marriage. I’m sure you have many prayers to share. Thanks for sharing.

  • rboerner

    Thanks Kim for the welcome! The verse in Jeremiah became my life verse while I was going back to school. I am still learning to trust in it completely. Glad to be part of MM. It has been a blessing in my life.

  • rboerner

    You are so sweet Andrea! I am so grateful for you in my life. I know we share some similarities in our marriages. Glad to be able to pray WITH you! God is amazing that He blesses us with people who share a same passion. Love ya!

  • Isn’t it wonderful how different verses speak to us in different periods of our lives? I had a life/career coach who helped pry me loose from my previous unsatisfying work life, and that verse is his signature verse. I have held it close to my heart ever since!

  • Congrats, Becky, on joining what looks to be a super team! There’s nothing like serving arm in arm, heart to heart, with a group of like-minded souls. Blessings!

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Woot Woot!!! Welcome to the MM Team! 🙂 I love your post, Becky. So “real” and relevant. I look forward to learning more from you. Glad to have you on board!!

  • Carrie White

    I know you worked so diligently on this…it is wonderful, truthful, and so you.:) I’m so thankful that you walk-out your faith and that God uses you to work in me.

  • Carrie White

    Oh, I forgot…woot! woot! 🙂

  • rboerner

    Thanks Carrie for the encouragement! You know you play a huge part in my story and were even an answer to my many prayers. God has used you in my life in more ways than you can imagine! Thanks for walking with me in my journey!

  • rboerner

    Thanks Stacey for the nice welcome to the MM Team! I am not completely confident in my writing skills but what I do know is God has asked me to step out in faith and allow Him to use my circumstances so here I am. I love that we all share a similar passion and can always learn from one another.

  • rboerner

    Thanks Linda! This blog has been a huge inspiration to me and I absolutely value Beth’s wisdom and her honesty. When God said, “when two or more gather in my name, I am with them”, he wasn’t joking around. :0) It is a true blessing to be part of a team that shares a similar passion.

  • I appreciate hearing your story, Becky. God answering our prayers certainly has sustained my marriage as well. He is faithful!

    Glad you’re on board at MM.

  • Becky God has answered many prayers – most in the most unexpected ways. I’ve learned that His (seeming) silence is an answer, His no is better than any yes, His yes is for forever. Wonderful thoughts and lessons in this post.

  • You illustrate so perfectly the ups and downs of a relationship and how God shepherds us through. I’m so glad you and Chris have decided that “Livin’ on a Prayer” is the way to go!

  • You know how much I LOVE this post, Becky! It paints a picture of God’s work in our hearts and marriages when we surrender it all up to Him. Thanks for being willing to share the “real and raw” and for taking on this new role (MM Team) in your life. I promise, you won’t be sorry you came on board, sweet friend!

  • rboerner

    Thank you Lisa for your encouragement.

  • rboerner

    Ngina, the silence is probably harder than the no because it is the unknown. Now that I’ve lived through quite a few moments of His silence, I am learning to trust Him more with my marriage and other life circumstances. Thanks for stopping by and checking out my story!

  • rboerner

    Thanks Laura for checking my story out. Not sure that Bon Jovi intended on me using his song this way but God does use ALL things for His good. 🙂

  • rboerner

    Thank you so much Beth! I am so glad that you are part of my story too and are one of God’s answers to my prayers. I value not only your wisdom but your friendship. Never thought writing is where He would be taking me but I guess I’m ready! “I can do ALL things through Him who gives me strength”

  • More prayers answered than I an even recall. But one in particular has always been related to work. Each time there are management restructuring (aka layoffs) over the past 10 years, I’ve prayed in earnest for him each time as I know something like that would weigh heavily on him. Each time -7 restructurings in total- he’s never even come close to being laid off and 3 of those times he was promoted and given even greater responsibilities. God listens to the earnest prayers of a wife. I am certain of this.