Loving God Helps Me Love My Husband

Today’s post is written by Dineen Miller from Spiritually Unequal Marriage – a place where you’ll find practical help and encouragement to thrive in your spiritually unequal marriage.

I will tell you, in all honesty, that I cannot love my husband in my own strength. It’s not possible. I tried to for a many years and would do fine for a while, but inevitably I would run out of steam. Resentment would seep back in and these feelings and thoughts more often had to do with how little I perceived to be getting back in the relationship. That was my own selfishness creeping in.

To truly love my husband requires unconditional love that’s centered in Christ, not me.

Especially since he doesn’t share my faith. My husband and I are spiritually mismatched. Marriage in itself is fraught with challenges, but add a spiritual disconnect and you have an additional conflict, which bleeds into everything else.

First, I had to ask God to help me love my husband the way He loves him. To put a love in my heart for my spouse that far exceeds what I am capable of. God answered that prayer and keeps answering it faithfully, but it truly starts in my love for God.

The more we love God—the more we live for Him—the more we are able to love others unconditionally.

Take a look at Matthew 22:37-39:
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” ,>

THEN, we are to love others. Maybe, like me, you thought the part about loving God came first, because God wants to be first in our lives. You would be right, but …

I also think it’s because that second part isn’t going to happen unless we grasp the first.

Jesus boiled down the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible, to two commands. Love God first, then love others. In that order. God never seems to have only one reason for anything He says and does. He is the most efficient being there is! He doesn’t just tell us to make Him first in our lives, He’s also telling us that in order to be able to love others like this, we have to love Him first.

Loving God first opens the door for God to love others through us. That is how we love sacrificially. This is especially crucial in my own marriage because this is the love that wins a heart to Christ. And that is my calling in my marriage, …

To love my unbeliever with a love that comes from God so that he can get a taste of who God is. In my love for my husband, I can be a sacred influence in his life.

The truth of the matter is, loving your spouse, or anyone for that matter, means loving sacrificially. And the only way to love sacrificially is through Christ. We can’t do it our own.

Check out Dineen’s bio below and her brand new book, co-written with her blogging partner, Lynn Donovan –
,>

Dineen Miller – 
In addition to writing for Spiritually Unequal Marriage, Dineen Miller has won several prestigious awards for her fiction. She’s also a C.L.A.S.S. Communicator and has been featured on the Moody Radio Network, Family Life and Focus on the Family Radio.

Married for 24 years to a guy who keeps her young, she lives in the Bay Area with her husband and two adult daughters, who surprise her daily with their own creativity.

Today’s Post is Linked to – 

 
 and

  • Ashley Ditto

    Great post!

  • I’ve tried in my own strength as well, and failed. Real love is sacrificial love and love forged through the fire of hard sacrifice. Beautiful post! Thanks for sharing!

  • Megan E.

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. What an incredible story you have.

  • true that…marriage is def not easy…and love either..and those resentments will creep in…and heart constantly masssaged and taught loe again and again by god def is a key…smiles.

  • messymarriage

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Ashley!

  • messymarriage

    Yes, we really get into trouble when we try to love our spouses–believers or not–without God’s help. I’m so glad that Dineen is reminding us of that very crucial key to loving our spouses. Thanks so much, Christina for stopping by and encouraging Dineen and me!

  • messymarriage

    She truly does, Megan. Check out her site if you have the time. It’s a great resource for encouragement and help.

  • messymarriage

    I love that imagery, Brian. We truly are “massaging our hearts” when we apply God’s love to our marriages. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • Janae Maslowski

    I love that you speak with an ease and peace, it is a beautiful reminder to me that life is lived in each moment and I needn’t hurry. God is woven into all and Love is truly about redemption.

  • messymarriage

    I agree, Dineen’s a great writer, Janae. Check out her book, if not for yourself, for someone you know who’s married to an unbeliever. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Dineen Miller

    Thank you, Janae (love your name, btw)! That is so true! And I do so try to hurry God a long at times. LOL! I’m so glad He’s patient and good about reminding me who’s really in charge. He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. That give me huge comfort and relief. 🙂

  • Dineen Miller

    Oh I agree with Beth. Great imagery, Brian. God knows better than anyone how to massage our hearts to bring out His love and get rid of those knots full of pride, hurt, and whatever else He sees needs refining. So cool!

  • Dineen Miller

    Thank you, Megan! Blessings to you! 🙂

  • Dineen Miller

    Glad to, Christina. Jesus is such a good example of how to do that agape love. And we need Him to do it. He’s so amazing.

  • Dineen Miller

    Thanks, Ashley! Blessings to you! 🙂

  • solid reminders here. God’s love is boundless. so we lean in, drink deeply, and offer love from the only place where reservoirs are endless.

  • Thanks for your faithful words Dineen. May God help your husband see Christ in your love for him.

  • messymarriage

    Christ truly is the only well that won’t run dry! Thanks for coming by Suzannah and encouraging Dineen!

  • messymarriage

    I love that you are seeking God’s help for Dineen’s marriage. What a sweet blessing, Kathy! Thanks for stopping by!

  • God’s love is the love we reflect to others. Even our husband. I will pray with you for your husband’s submission to Christ. I will add all unequally yoked marriages to my prayer list. 🙂

  • messymarriage

    Thanks so much for being willing to pray for Dineen and others like her who have this marriage struggle! That’s the best kind of encouragement! 🙂

  • I’ve found Christs love has opened my eyes to all His People, allowing me to see them more with His Eyes and love them with His Heart. In circumstances where you’d think there was no way you’d be able to love, God breaks through, and you do.

  • mercy

    I can’t thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I my partner split up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your email on a site about what you have done. I requested 1 to 2 day casting of the reunite us love spell and within 3days mark company had relocated him back to our hometown where I still lived. We immediately reconnected and move in with each other. Our wedding date is set for Nov 2012. Expect to see your invite in the mail thanks to upesaspelltemple@yahoo.”com

  • Willams Jeffery

    My name is caro. i have read testimonies about this great spell caster
    called Dr. orkakado how he helped people to bring their lover back. so i
    decide to give him a try, i am here today to give my own testimony on
    how this great brought my ex back within 48 hours for just to contact
    him. this girl has broke up with me over 6weeks but she came back just
    within 48 hours that Dr orkakado said he will make her to come. just
    contact this man and he will bring your ex back here is his email
    address orkakadospellhouse@gmail.com.or call +2348163974382

  • mendes

    please read my testimony my name is maria mendes and i am here to praise the wonder name of pa oluwo for making me a happier woman i thought my life was over when my husband filed of a divorce then i came across this wonderful man the told me not worry that my husband will come back to me the next three days to my greatest surprise the lawyer called me to tell me the divorce arrangement has been cancelled i was happy and full of joy my husband came back the same day the cancelled the divorce and apologized to me words cant describe how i feel and even though i don’t have all the money in the world all i do is to tell the world about this man called pa oluwo for the good things he has done in my life.i’m sure he can also help each and everyone who is in need of spiritual consult his email ID is sirgurutempleofwonders @ gmail.com and his direct line is +2348106176523

  • vivan

    My Name is vivan from Canada ,what a wonderful Miracle from priest grace , I went over seas after being in a relationship with my partner for 1year and stayed in contact frequently with him while I was gone. When I returned home he told me that he didn’t think it was going to work between us, I think there maybe another women but I know there is still love there until i meet Gracerelationshipspell@gmail.com tel : +23480112060038 who rescue me from Nightmare and help me to get my Love back between 12hrs ,i was so happy because i dont believe my partner would come back to me again but thanks priest grace for the wonderful Miracle work he did to save my Love Life

  • britney

    My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went online there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is kalalovespell@gmail.com so I had to contact him and explain my problem to him and in just 3days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to. I cant thank the spell caster enough for what he did for me, i am so grateful and i will never stop to publish his name on the internet for the good work he has done for me,once again his email is kalalovespell@gmail.com

  • annonnymous

    This is my testimonial on how Dr.Zabaza of zabaza.logan@yahoo.com brought back my lover within 48 hours, I came across Dr.Zabaza email address through the search engine few days ago, so i emailed him about my condition and how my lover left me. He told me it would take him only 48 hours to get my lover back to me, And within 48 hours later my lover called me begging me to forgive him and forget about the past and he is ready to make up for lost time.Thank you Dr.Zabaza for the good job you did for me continue the good work. Contact Dr.Zabaza via email on zabaza.logan@yahoo.com or call +2348182620374

  • Banks Diana

    My name is Banks Diana i am the most excited person on earth today because few minute ago my fiance called me on phone begging me to accept him back and forgive him for the wrong he did to me in the past. i loved him so much but he failed to release it and went on cheating on me till the day i cut him on bed with my best friend. hmm it was really painful so i broke up with him but just yesterday morning i saw some testimonies on Google of how Doctor PALOMA used his powerful spell to restore a broken relationship so i contact palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com through his email to also seek his help because i was in pain and i still love my fiance but all he said was don’t worry i will help you with your case though i never believed him because i was scam before by other spell caster but i just tough of giving him a try and now i can boldly say that Doctor PALOMA is a great spell caster who cast spell excellently with prove because he restored my broken relationship just the same way i read about him on the internet. My dear friends reading this now, do you need help of any kind then Contact Doctor PALOMA today to help you just as he helped me via email:palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com

  • Samantha Justin

    Hello I am Samantha Justin from USA; I am here to fulfill my promise to Dr. Dele that if he helps me get back my boyfriend and job that I will tell the whole world about him and it’s done. 😉

    I almost went crazy when my boyfriend left me for another girl last month because she is more romantic than I am until I met my childhood friend whom introduces me to Dr.Dele because he help her Mom to get back her Dad. I narrated my problem to him about how my boyfriend left me and also how I needed to get a job. He only said to me that I have come to the right place where I will be getting my heart desire without any negative effect. He told me what i need to do and after it was been done, In the next 2 days, My boyfriend called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before and I was called for interview in my desired company were I have been dreaming to work.

    I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr. Dele for any relationship problem, though you might find it hard to believe, but I must tell you that this man is genuine, I tested him and confirmed at last. This is his email: dr.delespiritualtemple@gmail.com

  • James Mack

    My Name is TRACY, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called dr ocarca has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email, then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great dr ocarca for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money
    – you can contact hem via: email johnecarcatemple@outlook.com

  • joyce

    Good Day everybody, my names is joyce, am from the Switzerland, i want to give thanks and honor to Dr. Ogudugu for the great work he did for me, he brought my lover within 24 hours which i never taught it will ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr. Ogudugu proved to me that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so she told me not to worry that when i contact him, that she is guarantee me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not work that she will be the one to give me back my money, to show her sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgived him and now we are living together happily than ever before, and am using the media to invite my friends on my wedding which will coming up on 24/12/2013, am very happy thanks be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR.Ogudugu who helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him through his email address oguduguspelltemple@gmail.com

  • Zahed Ahmed

    my names is Zahed Ahmed, am from the United State of America, i want to give thanks and honor to Dr. okoko for the great work he did for me, he brought my lover within 24 hours which i never taught it will ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr. okoko proved to me that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend in the USA who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so she told me not to worry that when i contact him, that she is guaranteeing me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not work that sheS will be the one to give me back my money, to show her sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgived him and now we are living together happily than ever before, and am using the media to invite my friends on my wedding which will coming up on 25/12/2013, am very happy thanks be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR okoko who helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him through okokospellcaster@gmail.com

  • gilbet

    thank to Dr odudu for bring back my lover in just 24hour, when my lover left me if was great Dr odudu that brought her back for me in just 24hours i thought i have lost it all but when i contact DR odudu on his email address oduduspell@gmail.com he brought her back urgently because i pay for urgently service for him to brought her back to me and he real did so me, am so happy to day is the help of Dr odudu i saw people testified about DR odudu that is when i contacted him on oduduspell@gmail.com to the glory of God every thing work out for good if you are having any problem via oduduspell@gmail.com or call +2348051913076 is the only man that can real put smile on every body face contact him own if you want your problem solve once and for all

    gilbet from U S A

    EMAIL; ODUDUSPELL@GMAIL.COM

    PHONE NUMBER; +2348051913076

  • Manda Dianna

    My name is Manda Dianna, am from USA. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man DR.okoko brought my husband back to me, i had three lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i should not worry about it at all, so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that’s why i want to say a big thank you to DR.okoko spiritual temple. This great man made me to understand that there is no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at:okokospellcaster@gmail.com

  • Fidela Conner

    THANKS TO THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER DR AIRE
    My name is Fidela Conner, I am here to tell the nation the story of my life on how i was helped by a great man, believe it or not, this is not design to confuse you but is my true life expierience.
    My boyfriend of four years called me one morning and told me that he is over between us that he don’t have anything to do with me anymore just because he ask me to come over to his house and i didn’t show up. i pleaded and pleaded but he didn’t accept me back, at this stage of my life, i was completely empty, i could not concentrate again at work i keep on thinking of him every night and day and i was confuse. So one day, as i was on the internet for a buisness purpose, i came across a comment about spell cast explaining how she was helped by him, then i realized how much i really love and miss my boyfriend, so without wasting much time, i contacted Dr. Aire, and i told him all my poblems that i am facing in my relationship. So he helped me. After he has done the necessary things, my boyfriend, who has not been calling me for almost five months, called me and started speaking to me in a nice and lovely way. I am really happy again for we are back together again in our relationship. Below will contain the contact info. of Dr. Aire if you want to contact him for help in anyways. (drairesolutioncenter@gmail.com) or through his website http://www.drairesolutioncenter.simplesite.com or http://www.draire.simplesite.com

  • Emily powell

    Am Emily Powell from Canada I never believed in spell casters until my life fell apart when my lover of 4 years decided to call it quit. I was so devastated that i had an accident that left me bedridden. After 7 months of emotional pain and languish, a friend of mine introduced me to a certain spell caster, this was after I have been scammed by various fake spell caster. I was introduced to DR ONIHA ( A Spell Caster). In less than 12 hrs i saw wonders, my Lover came back to me and my life got back just like a completed puzzle… am so happy.. Dr ONIHA have all kinds of spells from pregnancy to love,from employment to visa lottery winning. He has spell to stop divorce,spell to make someone look attractive and others. here’s his contact for serious minded people only, it might be of help….onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com. wow Dr.ONIHA…thanks am so grateful as you saved my life.

  • Dona Smith

    i am giving this testimony cos l am happy My name is mrs. Dona Smith from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in December this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. ADAGBA.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com Great ADAGBAi thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay.. What a powerful man such as Dr ADAGBA.. he is so much powerful..\ email him for any difficulties.. adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com