Money Matters in Marriage

Money

One of the top reasons marriages have trouble or split is due conflicts over money. Usually this begins with one partner who likes to spend while the other one likes to pinch a penny till Lincoln cries “uncle!”

Appropriately, psychologists have discovered that money often becomes a “nurturance” symbol to anyone who has it or uses it. This is true from the time money bought that comforting stuffed animal you had to have as a tot to now when money buys you a car or home that ensures your comfortable status in society.

You might say, “Well, I don’t like to buy things—I like to save money!” I hate to break it to you, but even in that situation you are looking to money to give you a sense of security—knowing there will always be enough for a rainy day.

Thankfully, my husband and I have similar (not the same) perspectives about money. But let me tell you, we’ve certainly clashed at times over the issue. And when we’ve clashed about money, it’s almost always erupted into a humdinger of a fight!

This past week and weekend Gary and I were at the American Association of Christian Counselors Marriage America conference in Orlando, Florida. Since my husband and I live in the Midwest, this was a special treat for both of us. But even better than the sunny skies and fun atmosphere, we look forward to the great tracks/classes we get to attend and the authors and/or speakers we get to rub elbows with.

In fact, I was able to have a cup of coffee with Leslie Vernick, author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (a book that I’ve done a book review on here at Messy Marriage).

Aside from Leslie’s great work with destructive and abusive relationships, one of the track authors/leaders was The Money Couple, Scott and Bethany Palmer who’ve written the book, First Comes Love, Then Comes Money. Scott and Bethany also have a website, The Money Couple with a free inventory that will help you discover what type of money personality you and your spouse have, along with many other free resources that can guide you in how to be better financial managers and navigate the money personality differences you and your spouse may have.

In addition to this information, next week our Messy Marriage Team Member, Stacey Micklevitz will be posting a two-part series (Monday and Wednesday) about how to save a boatload of money by super couponing. So check back next week for some great money saving tips!

Photo credit by Images_of_Money, TaxBrackets.org (Flickr)

Today’s Post is Linked to –
Marriage Monday @ Chrysalis
  • Megan Elzey

    Money sure does matter! Thankfully, this has not been much of an issue for my husband and I. We grew up in families that were is mostly the same financial situation, and as a married couple we have not typically had much extra after bills. And neither of us are really spenders 🙂

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad to hear that it hasn’t been much of an issue in your marriage, Megan. That’s one less mess to worry about! 🙂 Thanks so much for coming by! 🙂

  • Mac an Rothaich

    Appreciate all the resource recommendations! Hope to have more time this evening to look into your links more. Thanks for the post!

  • messymarriage

    I’m excited about the resources too. I didn’t know they had so many free financial tools until I went to their website the other day. They have a great ministry. Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

  • e-Mom

    Wow, a “wealth” of resources here! Thanks for sharing your links, Beth.

    And thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today.

    Blessings, e-Mom ღ

  • Denise Oldham

    Appreciate your sharing.

  • Beth, I just joined NOBH and found your blog. Thanks for highlighting this important topic of marriage and money! I was also at the marriage conference in Orlando, and loved it. I’m looking forward to your upcoming interview with Leslie Vernick, and the posts on couponing.
    Blessings,
    Ann

  • messymarriage

    Haha! Thanks so much for stopping by, hosting Marriage Monday and encouraging me, e-Mom!

  • messymarriage

    Thanks for stopping by, Denise!

  • messymarriage

    Oh, wow! What a small world! I’ll have to check out your blog, Dr. Ann. Please do check back for the interview and couponing posts coming up soon. 🙂

  • Faith @ Gold in the Clouds

    Oh I will def be back to check out your coupon post! i am a coupon gal….LOVE clipping em and saving!!

  • This is so true in our marraige too! I do all the accounting and bills and so I’m constantly worried about our financial situation and at the same time I perceive him as to not to care about it and live worry free. It’s been a real struggle in our marraige to some balance on both of our ends.

  • messymarriage

    Great, Faith! I’m looking forward to what Stacey shares about couponing as well. She saves so much every week by doing it. That, in itself, is such a help to a marriage! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    I bet you’ll find some helpful insights about your differences, Julie, by taking the inventory at The Money Couple’s site. In fact, I haven’t taken it yet, but my husband and I plan to very soon. Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

  • rboerner

    This is so true. When my husband and I got married, the pastor sat us down and told us there were two things that we would argue about for the rest of our lives – MONEY & SEX – and it is so true. We have managed to work out a system that seems to work for us with money. It just took us 15 years to get there. 🙂 HA

  • messymarriage

    Your pastor was right! I’m so glad you’ve found a good system that works for the two of you, Becky! Thanks again for weighing in! 🙂