I’ve been studying in 1st Samuel and God has been bringing to my attention all the times that people either wrongly let pride overtake them or rightly let humility be their response to circumstances.
In fact, humility is one area where God has worked in my heart the most to move me away from making messes in my marriage and toward learning the lessons that help me to be a gracious and a less mess-making spouse.
That’s why I’m beginning a new series on the power of humility that I’m calling, “My Failures, God’s Inroads” . . . because I believe every time I admit and accept my failures and repent of my sins, God is able to gain a crucial inroad into my heart for His grace and forgiveness to enter in. Yay, God!
My plan in this series is to share some of the more obvious failures I’ve had in my marriage and how God has used them redemptively and for my and my spouse’s good!
First of all, let me clarify what I believe being humble involves, since I know there is much confusion on the subject . . .
Being humble is not about seeing yourself as inferior to others. It is really not about comparing yourself to other humans in any way. After all, every one of us can find someone who is much worse or much better than we are! That’s not a reliable standard or measuring rod for our view of ourselves.
Humility is also about realizing and accepting how far you fall short of God’s goodness, perfection and power.
It is what you might call having a “sober view” of yourself.
“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” ~Rom. 12:3
One of the failures that I recall and still sometimes fall back into is a competitive spirit with Gary.
This almost always tripped (still sometimes trips) both of us up big time!
I think we are both driven and perfectionistic people. He was an only child and I was “essentially” an only because I was born so much later than my two older siblings—who are 14 and 9 years my senior. If you know anything about birth order, you know that “onlys” can be a wee bit entitled and selfish! 😉
I also got distracted in the early days by the fact that my hubby would often start us on the competitive merry-go-round. He would throw down the gauntlet and instead of remaining humble and secure in God’s love, I would fearfully and pridefully take up that challenge. #Iwillshowhim!
I did not see the fact that I had just as much of a competitive and critical spirit as my hubby did. And that pride-fueled denial would give us yet another direction and “surface issue” to argue over! #madness
However, God began to reveal to me how very much I was being like my fellow-offender in this and how this kind of attitude was very unlike Him—my humble Lord.
So I stopped comparing myself to my hubby and started comparing myself to God and His grace and humility.
You can imagine how convicting and perspective-shifting that was! And as I did this, God created an inroad that not only convicted me of this offensive sin, but began to develop in me the very humility that I lacked! Imagine that?! 😉
Next week I’ll be sharing about my failure to release control in marriage—the kissing cousin of “competitiveness!” I hope you’ll be back!
What is one of your failures that God has used to strengthen you in your marriage?
What is one humble act that you need to practice in your marriage/life this week and beyond?
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