Are You Fighting with a Ghost?

Recently, I’ve done some soul searching. Very often when my husband, Gary, and I disagree, it reminds me of the conflicts that my parents too often had when I was a child. And my first reaction to him in those times is to “table the conversation.” But recently I’m beginning to recognize that I’ve been […]

The Real Ball and Chain

When Gary and I were first married, we were young, poor seminary students. Unfortunately, I wanted to rework his fashion image. So, since I proudly held “a” credit card to a department store and since Gary needed some clothes, we went on a spending spree! After all, we reasoned, we can manage the $10 minimum […]

Naggy McNaggerson, Party of One…

Written by frequent contributor: Stacey Micklevitz   How easy it is to be critical! It’s human nature. Honestly, our spouses practically invite us to criticize, correct, and redirect. Seriously speaking, when opportunities present themselves, I find myself struggling against the urge to let my husband, Bryan, know when he is wrong. My situation is not […]

Mess-Maker #1 – My Marriage Should Make Me Happy

  This seems like a “no-brainer!” We should all want our marriages and spouses to make us happy. Only a masochist or crazy person wouldn’t want his/her marriage to produce happiness, right? Don’t get me wrong! I completely agree that it’s a wonderful thing when happiness happens. Where I have trouble with this concept is in the “expectation” that it should make us happy. That’s […]

Stuck in a Rut?

  If your marriage is like mine, you sometimes get stuck in a rut. Things may go along fairly smoothly for months or even years, but then you hit a pothole and get stuck. When you’re in that rut, it might seem like you’re constantly irritated with each other—or irritated with life, but you take […]

How to Defuse Anger – Part Two

In my last post, I shared that thinking you can control your spouse or “playing god” only increases anger and frustration. So if you release control to the one, true God, you’ll be able to lessen your anger. Today I want to discuss another internal problem with anger that’s very much related to the first. […]

How to Defuse Anger – Part One

When dealing with anger in a marriage—messy or not—you can take an external approach and deal with communication techniques. Or you can take an internal approach and explore thoughts and feelings in an effort to do and think about what is right or best for the relationship. Both ways are important, but today I will […]

Have You Really Forgiven Someone?

I often hear people say, “Oh, I forgave him/her.” But sometimes I doubt the truth or reality of their words. It’s not that I don’t think they’re being sincere. It’s just that I think many people believe that forgiveness is simply a decision and nothing more.  Here’s why I think there’s more forgiveness work to […]

Spark #2 Chemistry

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”   —Psalm 139:14 (NIV) I’ve never been great at science. I muddled my way through high school biology and never even took H.S. chemistry because it wasn’t required for college at the time. But even though […]

3 Steps to Breaking a Vicious Cycle

Have you ever been in a vicious cycle?  I certainly have! Let’s say that you were betrayed by a past relationship. That person lied to you time after time and finally cheated on you. You learned from that experience to be suspicious, even cynical about new and existing relationships. In carrying that cynicism with you […]