Porn’s Influence on Marriage

Today we’re joining e-Mom for Marriage Monday to discuss the topic of “Sex”.

I feel like this is the perfect opportunity to break out my recently received stats from Josh McDowell’s campaign, “Just One Click Away” …

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I plan to share more of McDowell’s information about the influence of the Internet and Internet porn on children and adolescents at a later date.

But for today, I want to share how porn tears at the very foundation of a healthy marriage. Check this out …

  • 47% of Christian marriages report pornography as a problem
  • Survey’s report that the Internet was a significant factor in 2/3 of divorces
  • The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that 68% of divorces involved one party meeting another over the Internet
  • The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that 56% involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites”
  • In 2001, over 50% of evangelical pastors admitted to having viewed pornography within the last year
  • A survey conducted in 2006 reported that 50% of all Christian men are addicted to pornography
  • The same 2006 survey reported that 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography
  • More than 50% of those who engaged in “sexual internet interactions” had lost interest in sexual intercourse
  • 40% of “sex addicts” lose their spouses
  • 58% suffer considerable financial losses
  • 33% lose their jobs due to issues related to their addiction
  • Pornography use increases marital infidelity more than 300%
  • Sex addicts are 23 times more likely to say, “Discovering online sexual material was the worst thing that has ever happened in my life”

Thankfully, my husband and I recognize the dangers of pornography. We are committed to remaining pure by not viewing porn of any kindinternet or not.

But I’ve counseled and witnessed many others who’ve not recognized the dangers or who’ve succumbed to the dangers and are now overpowered by the addiction to the point of devastation.

One of the biggest problems with pornography is that it depersonalizes or objectifies the person photographed or filmed. As we allow our minds to continuously think in these depersonalized ways, we lose the ability to connect with our mates in an intimate, loving manner.

Another problem is that pornography provides an intense jolt of euphoria that’s hard or next to impossible to replicate in a normal sexual experience—especially in marriage. This leaves the individual seeking more and more intensity, trying always to top the last orgasmic experience. It results in a never-ending need for more of what really isn’t true, healthy or God-honoring.

If you’re in a marriage where pornography is a problem, I would strongly suggest that you and/or your spouse seek good Christian counseling immediately. There are almost always specific experiences in childhood or adolescence that ignite this kind of problem, requiring a counselor to help you discover and resolve the issue.

I also want to provide some links to resources and websites that are helpful for this very important problem below …

Books:
Every Man’s Battle
Shattered Vows
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction
The Game Plan
False Intimacy
Men’s Secret Wars
Living With Your Husband’s Secret Wars
What Are You Waiting For?
The Bare Facts

Videos:
Pixels and Porn
Why Does Sexual Sin Hurt So Much?
How Does the Gospel Conquer the Sin of Pornography

Webinar:
Covenant Eyes

Ministries:
pureintimacy.org
focusonthefamily.com
purelifeministries.org
purefreedom.org
covenanteyes.com

Internet Accountability Apps:
x3watch
Double Agent

photo credit – blvesboy (Flickr)

Today’s Post is Linked to –

  • Hi Beth – great post with great resources
    God bless
    Tracy

  • If there’s a will then satan finds a way to corrupt what God has created for good. Great post!
    Connie

  • messymarriage

    You’re so right, Connie. And with the advent of the Internet, the problem is multiplying at a staggering rate. Thanks for stopping by and encouraging me!

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad you found it helpful, Tracy!

  • e-Mom @ Chrysalis

    The porn stats are staggering, aren’t they? Thanks for raising awareness of this tragedy.

    And thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Beth.

    Blessings, e-Mom @ Chrysalis

  • Stacey

    L.O.V.E. Josh McDowell!!! Bryan and I made a commitment before our marriage to avoid porn of any kind. Thus far, we’ve been able to protect our sacred relationship. We’ve seen first hand, however, that porn can subtly and slowly infiltrate a marriage and systematically destroy it. So very heartbreaking and SO VERY REAL! Thank you for addressing this issue! I plan to share your post on FB! LY!!! 🙂

  • Thanks for having the courage to address a sensitive subject which needs to be addressed! So important.

  • rboerner

    Great resources!

  • messymarriage

    Thanks, Becky! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    The stats were so disturbing to me, especially what I received about children and adolescents. I hope you check back for that particular info I’ll be giving at a later date. Thanks for stopping by, Tami!

  • messymarriage

    You’re so welcome, Stacey! It really is an epidemic in our culture with the results being hugely underestimated. Thanks for being so passionate about this very important issue! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    Yes, they are. I feel like there are so many feeling trapped both by the porn addiction or by the fact that a spouse has succumbed to the temptations. Thanks again for hosting!

  • Kim Hall

    I knew it was bad, but those statistics really highlight how pervasive and corrosive it really is. Thanks so much for the resource list. I have already sent it forward to someone I know who is struggling.
    Bless the work you do!
    Thanks for bringing this to our attention on No Ordinary Blog Hop!

  • Mac an Rothaich

    Important topic! Good for you for putting up this helpful info. It sure is more common then one would hope, even in the ‘Christian’ circles as the enemy enjoys his advantage. Being aware and honest about how destructive porn is for all involved is a step in the right direction.

  • I never came across this statistics about porn before. Thanks for sharing it and your thoughts about how it affects marriage. My husband used to see porns over the Internet but since He accepted Jesus in his life he has changed his ways after he recognized that it’s a sin.

  • Faith

    excellent post!! This is so important!! Thanks for all this info! My own husband has the book Every Man’s Battle and it’s excellent! i think he did a small group study of that book about 5 years ago….(a group for guys). Staying pure CAN be accomplished. for that I praise God!!!

  • momto8blog

    we have all this stuff blocked so I really had no idea the extent and ease of viewing porn…I was SHOCKED! at what is so readily available for anyone. so disturbing!!
    I am your newest follower…pls follow back if you can

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad it could be a help to someone you know. Thanks, Kim!

  • messymarriage

    Yes, whatever I can do to help fight this “plague” on our marriages, is what I what want to do. Thanks so much for coming by! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    I was astonished when Josh McDowell presented them at a conference I attended. He promised to share them with those in attendance, so I’m passing them along in hopes it will open the eyes of many. Thanks so much for coming by!

  • messymarriage

    It’s a great book and such an important topic that churches need to address. I’m not sure “the church” is realizing the imminent danger, but if we all spread the word, maybe we can make a difference.

  • messymarriage

    Yeah, it is disturbing and so glad you’ve taken measures to protect your family. Thanks for following and I just became your newest follower too! 🙂

  • Jordan

    Good to see Keller, Carson, and Piper made it in! Woo!

  • messymarriage

    Thanks for the resource, Jordan!