Resurrecting Love

Remember the part of the marriage vow that says, “Till death do us part”?

Beverly & Ryan's Wedding

In our vows, we are referring to a physical death and know that this ensures our promise is for a lifetime.  

But what if it is only in our dying to ourselves that we really find each other?

It’s no accident that Christ—the true personification of love—showed his love by dying on a cross for us.

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 (NIV)

I know for me there are times when my husband doesn’t inspire me to love him in a dying-to-self kind of way nor do I inspire him—far from it! But those are exactly the times when Christ’s example of sacrificial love is needed.

What if we could see how this Christ-like “dying to ourselves” love would look in our marriages? Would it make us want to surrender more? Would we finally trust Christ to resurrect our “love” just like when he rose from the grave?

Think with me for a moment. Would it look something like this …

  • Christ’s love soothing when your spouse shouts obscenities at you.
  • Christ’s love being faithful when your spouse turns to another lover—even if the lover is a bottle or a naked image on a computer screen.
  • Christ’s love comforting when your spouse tells you that you can’t do anything right.
  • Christ’s love satisfying when your spouse doesn’t satisfy or love you any longer.
  • Christ’s love cleansing and forgiving when your spouse refuses to give you another chance.
  • Christ’s love offering refuge when your marriage is rocked by tragedy and loss.
  • Christ’s love sustaining you through the coldness that deepens as your spouse’s apathy grows.

We can’t love our spouses and our spouses can’t love us the way our souls desire. Our marriages are held together by threadbare grit and empty promises—bound for failure. But Christ offers us resurrection power when we die to self—letting Christ’s love live and love through us.

So will you join me in dying? . . .

“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25 (NIV)

photo credit aprillynn77 (Flickr)

Today’s Post is Linked to –
No Ordinary Blog Hop
Painting Prose  and
  • I know that you are anointed to write these beautiful posts about marriage. I would run out of things to say in a month!! I am so glad that I’ve gotten to know you through Painting Prose! Thank you for all of your support!

  • Wow…I have never ever thought of it this way before, Beth. What a blessing you are. thank you so much for encouraging me to die to self and let Christ fill in the gaps. even in my marriage. thank you!

  • Your post reminds me that it’s easy to love people when they are lovable, but isn’t real love about loving those that aren’t. It’s moving beyond what we are capable of and relying on God to fill in our gaps. Thank you for this beautiful post!

  • If God responded to me the way I so often treat those whom I love, I would be undone. Thanks be to God, He gazes at me in love and grace.

  • What a beautiful reminder of God’s grace to us and our grace extended in turn to our spouses. So glad I stopped by today!

  • Ro elliott

    Oh Yes…the daily dying…it is what brings Christ love into the center of any relationship…Ours and Christ…ours and the family…great post… you always encourageing us to press on to our upward call. blessings~

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad to have gotten to know you too, Kimberly. I’m so grateful for your willingness to host as well. And as far as topics on marriage goes, let me just say that my own marriage gives me LOTS of fodder! haha!

  • messymarriage

    I want to remember these things too, when love is hard and it literally feels like “dying” when I give. So glad you found it helpful and thanks so much for coming by to encourage me, NIkki! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    Yes, Alecia, true, Christ-like love is so hard. But like you said, Christ came to fill those gaps we have in giving and in healing the wounds that we receive from others as well.

  • messymarriage

    And it’s so freeing when we realize that, Nancy–instead of nursing our hurt and throwing ourselves a pity party. I’m joining you in focusing on Christ’s love for me, for you and for our spouses.

  • messymarriage

    I’m so glad you stopped by too, Christina! Thanks for encouraging me! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    I’m not just reminding my readers, but myself as well–to press on and die daily. So grateful that I don’t have to do the dying on my own, though, Ro! Thanks for stopping by to encourage me again! 🙂

  • Kim Hall

    Such a wonderful illustration of how we can be more like Him. It is so much easier to love people when they’re nice!
    I think this can be applicable to our other family relationships, as those can be stormy as well.

    Your post is a blessing to me today!

  • so true, that dying to ourselves actually brings us closer to each other. My husband modelled this to me right after we got married, serving me in a way that I just wasn’t used to. But it made me want to serve that way back.

  • messymarriage

    Yes, that’s so true. Most of what can be applied to marriage relationships can be applied to other relationships as well. I keep telling my single friends to read “Messy Marriage” because we all can identify–single or married. Thanks again, Kim, for being a constant encourager in my life! Hugs*

  • messymarriage

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Shelly! I’m grateful for your encouragement and example! 🙂

  • dsblanchard

    I really liked the invitation to die to self. This is key and I join you in the journey. I visited today from Ann’s.

    Blessing, Dear One!

  • messymarriage

    Sometimes we need an “invitation” or we stay in our comfort zone. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and weighing in!

  • Thank you for sharing this reminder with all of us over at NOBH!

  • messymarriage

    Thanks to you, Heidi, for coming by and checking us out! 🙂