Ruins to Redemption And WW Linkup

Ruins and Failures

Today we are honored to have my sweet friend Mary Geisen who blogs at Passage Through Grace as the host of WW this week, sharing her story of redemption after a failed marriage. I’m so excited that she’s been brave and gracious enough to talk about this, because I believe that divorce is often an inevitable part of the broken world we live in and many-a-messy-marriage has or will be touched by it. Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us broken and without purpose, but uses our brokenness for His good purposes in our lives. I’m certain you’ll see that in Mary’s story!

My story begins in 1983 – the year my June wedding took place with a life full of hope and promise stretched before me. The union was one blessed by God and family and left me breathless for what the future held. Two sons entered the picture four and seven years into our marriage and added another layer of love, I never thought was possible to embrace.

I watched in awe as these little boys laughed, played and brought smiles to all of our faces. Life was exactly as I imagined and there was nothing to make me think otherwise in the first ten years of marriage.

My happily ever after began to deteriorate as my husband endured one physical problem after another. I was not only working full time, but took on all the household chores as well as the care for our two sons. Life was still moving forward, but was steeped in routine, messiness and little joy. My dreams for the future faded from sight as I maintained the household and took on a persona that life was fine.

As the safety net of my marriage began to disappear, and the emotional stability of home kept us off balance, it was time to consider whether the current environment was best for my sons and myself. Keep in mind this is over a 21 year span of trying to mend fences, work toward common goals and the birth of two sons who were now in their teenage years.

Reevaluation took place, but ultimately a healthy environment for my sons and myself won out. After 21 years of marriage, we divorced and my life changed significantly. I am not a proponent of divorce and being raised in the church, I was not quick to consider this as my only option. My husband and I went regularly to church and brought our sons up in the church too.

One component that was lacking as our married life evolved was keeping Christ at the center of our family and marriage. To me, this makes all the difference in saving a marriage that has been crumbling for years.

My story does not just end in divorce. My former husband passed away two years after we ended our marriage and this is where my story of redemption begins.

Shock filled my heart and mind and a grief I did not know was inherent in my being left me with questions that can only be answered through prayer. Through the gentle leading of my two sons to check out a new church, I found my way back to what my heart knew all along – God is the redeemer of all and He makes all things good.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

It has been many years of intentional prayer, time in God’s Word and asking God for forgiveness that I have been able to heal from my own messy marriage. Circumstances in my marriage and divorce changed the course of my life dramatically, but ultimately led me to a deeper relationship with God.

Redemption has become the cry of my heart by allowing God to mend the broken places, teach me His truths and lead me closer to knowing that a fulfilled life is one we will always find in Him.

The beauty of my story is how two sons who witnessed brokenness are now getting ready to begin their own married lives in 2016. The lesson learned is found in how they both have chosen Christ to be the center of their lives and soon to be marriages.

God’s redemption makes us new through the power of grace and love! May we all be renewed today in Christ!

~Mary

 

What are the ways you’ve seen God redeem the messes and failures in your own life?

 

If you’re divorced, or divorced and remarried, what have been some of the hardest aspects in rebuilding your life and recommitting to marriage?

 


Joining with my friends at Giving Up on Perfect, Wifey Wednesday, A Little R & R Wednesdays, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Coffee and Conversation, Coffee for Your Heart and Wholehearted Wednesday.

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  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    What a courageous telling, Mary. I’m sure that many heart will be moved by your honesty, and by God’s grace in your life.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/11/your-dying-spouse-78-till-death.html

    • Mary

      Your kind words blessed me this morning. Sharing pieces of my personal story never come easy but knowing that one of other person can be touched by God’s grace is worth it.

  • Pat And Candy

    Wonderful guest post, Mary; I really appreciate your honesty, and grateful to hear that He restored beauty for your ashes. I’m sure your sons will be all-the-more-committed having seen first-hand the importance of keeping God in the center of it all!

    • Mary

      Thank you. I am blessed by a God who loves me unconditionally as well as one who shows patience in my struggles. My sons are amazing examples of living a life for Christ and it is only through God that they have turned out so well. Thank you for being here today.

  • Mary, you have addressed 2 very important facts – Christ MUST be at the center of our marriages – and our lives AND our Heavenly Father loves to redeem our brokenness. Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Mary

      God is in the business of redemption and lovingly shows us that time after time. He teaches me daily that I need Him first in order to be who He is calling me to be. I learned the hard way through my own marriage that when Christ is not at the center, you cannot sustain the relationship. Thank you for being here Aimee. I appreciate your kind words.

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  • Hi Mary, I am grateful for your courage to share your own story. Important lesson is keeping Christ at the center of it all. God is the only guarantee we have.
    Sweet Blessings to you, friend

    • Mary

      God IS the only guarantee we have and that is enough. Your words encourage me as always and affirm that through Christ all things are possible. Blessings my friend.

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  • So thankful that God is our great redeemer. Thank you for sharing your story of redemption.

    • Mary

      Thank you for joining us today and for leaving this sweet comment. I pray that God takes all of our messy stories and redeems them for His good. Blessings as you finish out your week.

  • Melanie Redd

    Good Morning, Beth!

    Over the past few weeks, I’ve been praying about a way that I could encourage other bloggers who have been encouraging me. Through your ministry, posts, words, comments, and faithfulness—your life has been a blessing to mine, and I wanted others to know about you!

    So, I compiled a list of those bloggers who I’ve personally found to be the MOST INSPIRATIONAL on the web.

    You are ONE Of these bloggers – in my estimation!

    You can find the link to the list where you are featured here: http://www.melanieredd.com/the-100-most-inspiring-christian-blogs-on-the-web/

    I’ve also signed up to get your emails, and tried to follow you on your social media outlets!

    I pray that God will encourage you today through these simple acts~
    Melanie

  • Mary, thank you for bring brave and sharing your story. Divorce is never easy & always messy. I know many will find hope & courage in reading your words. May God bless both your sons as they start married life. And may He bless you all with joy as your family grows! XO

    • Mary

      I appreciate your affirming words this morning. My story is hard to share especially when church doesn’t really know what to do with divorced couples. I am blessed that God will always love me and extend His gift of grace in my messy and hard places. I am looking forward to 2016 as both sons begin their own marriages.

      • Mary, you are so right. There is a void in the church when it comes to divorce. May God open the eyes of many to see that the church needs to be there for those in this hard place.

  • So thankful that you have shared your heartache — as well as the redemption of it. Nothing goes to waste in God’s economy. Blessings to you and your family.

    • Mary

      I love how you share, nothing goes to waste in God’s economy. Those words really speak to me as I continue to learn lessons from my past as I move toward my future. You are a blessing and I always smile when I see you joining in the conversation.

  • Thank you for sharing your story of His redemption!

    • Mary

      You are so sweet, Barbie! You know how hard it is for me to share such a personal part of my life. Thank you for always being such an encourager for me. You are loved my friend!

  • Gosh, thank you for your heartfelt and vulnerable post. Life’s stresses,illness, money, all these tough issues wear down a marriage..and I see how delicate marriage is without Christ at the center of our lives. What a hard journey you’ve been on in your marriage (and I so understand the challenges!), but redemption is such a life-giving, renewing, beautiful gift that heals all. What a blessing your children now entering marriage know the greatest part of marriage is Christ!

    • Mary

      I am forever grateful that God has redeemed me, a woman of great weakness, through the blood of His son, Jesus. Writing my story is healing and I am blessed by people like you who stopped by today to encourage me. Your words mean so much as I poured my heart out on this page. Blessings!

  • JosephPote

    “Redemption has become the cry of my heart by allowing God to mend the broken places, teach me His truths and lead me closer to knowing that a fulfilled life is one we will always find in Him.”

    • Mary

      I appreciate your words today, Joe, as I now a small piece of your own story. I do not take your encouragement lightly and know that it is expressed sincerely. Thank you for being here to remind me that God does use all things for His benefit.

  • I’m just in awe of how openly and honestly you have shared this difficult part of your journey, Mary. You are nothing short of inspiring, my dear friend. Divorce is heart-breaking and then to lose them after can nearly destroy us. As you know I have a similar story with a divorce and his death shortly after. I waited far too long to come to Christ after. Your strength and path to redemption is so encouraging. You will help many by telling your story. Many blessings and much love to you!

    • Mary

      I am so blessed by your friendship and ability to always say the right thing at the right time to encourage me. Parts of our story mirror each others ,but through it all we both have been redeemed by God who takes us in our weakness and makes us a new creation. Love and hugs!

  • Oh wow. What a feast, to have 2 of my favorite bloggers in one place! Mary, your story resonates … we’re all in need of a redemption in some way. Thank you for your courage in sharing what will most certainly impact a host of readers. You do brave well, dear friend!

    Hugs to you, to Beth … so grateful you speak into my world.

    • Mary

      You are so sweet, Linda. Sharing my own story is not one I find easy, but God knows the power of of healing and redemption that comes with it and spurs us on, even when it is hard. Here’s to letting God lead us in brave through our stories or other calls to action he has for us.

  • Oh, Mary, me too! Me, too! Although my ex hubby did not pass away, I did see the redemption of Jesus in the aftermath of pruning. Thank you for sharing!

    • Mary

      Thank you for sharing the image of pruning. In order for things to grow, they must be pruned and God has worked on me a lot in my life. I am blessed that you stopped by here and left such sweet words. Blessings!