Safe People Book Review/Giveaway

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I’m a huge fan of Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I just recently read the book, Beyond Boundaries that was released by Townsend back in September 2011. It’s a great book that I will be doing a review on next week. But today I’m talking about a classic book from their arsenal of boundaries related titles …

In Safe People you’ll learn what the traits are of “safe people” and you’ll be able to recognize them in the people you rub shoulders with everyday—in fact, you may recognize them in yourself! You may think that the traits you’ll learn about are normal or even “loving,” but in reality they are self-serving and sometimes toxic. It is a very eye-opening read!

As the book goes on, you’ll not only discover who the unsafe people are in your life, you’ll learn whether or not you’re attracting those who are unsafe. The authors explain seven mistakes people often make that draw them back inextricably into unsafe relationships.

So take a good hard look at your relationships. Do you see that you tend to let others take advantage of you? Or maybe you tend to get into conflicts with certain friends/family in your life, etc. If you see some negative patterns, then consider that there might be some reasons why this is happening. With the help of the book, you’ll begin to identify what exactly those habits and attitudes are.

In the final section of the book, you’ll learn what the characteristics are of safe people, how to find them and develop a relationship with them. Most of all, you’ll learn how to cultivate these safe qualities in your own life.

I read this book years ago and have even taught classes on the material. I have to say that it has been transformational for me and my life. I now feel that I have what I call unsafe people radar.” It’s a bit harder and takes more time and exposure to pick up on who’s safe, but the book has helped me with that as well. All that to say, I feel like this book has been instrumental in helping me to be a safe, or at the very least, safer person.

So here’s what I want to do … I want to give away two copies of this book. All you have to do to enter this contest is to simply comment on this post.

If you’re worried about being identified, choose the anonymous option when commenting, then email me your actual name at the email I’ve provided under the “contact” tab. When I announce the winners, I will keep the identity of anyone who has chosen to remain anonymous, anonymous.

The giveaway will end on Saturday the 21st at 9 a.m. when I will announce the winners. Yay!

So don’t hesitate to enter today!

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  • Ro elliott

    oh I would love this…I have to confess…I have not always been a safe place…but God is merciful and He has been changing me…taking me to a safe place with Him…so I can be that safe place with others…I am also helping my niece learn to trust…to risk…and find safe places…would love to pass this along to her. Isn’t kind of sad…when His Body lacks safe havens.

  • Nikki Carrion

    I’m in! I can’t wait to read the new Beyond Boundaries book and I haven’t read Safe People yet although I have friends that have and said it is good. Thanks for doing this!

  • Angie

    This sounds wonderful. I wonder about my relationships with my colleagues at my work: who is ‘safe’ and who isn’t, and about the wisdom of getting involved or not in (office) politics. Would love to read this!

  • Kimberly

    Thanks for the resource and review. It is nice to have a book recommended rather than just picking it up and worrying that it might be lame.

  • Banda98

    I wanna win a book! 🙂 Sounds like it might go hand and hand with our study.

  • Captain Kirk


    You are gifted in sharing insights that God has impressed upon you over the years. I know your insights are always meaningful to me. I loved the book “Sun Stand Still” and wouldn’t have read it had it not been for your recommendation. Please put me into your drawing for “Safe People”, and whether I’m one of the winners or not, I will be picking up a copy of this book to read.

    Thanks for sharing your heart with your readers. We are blessed that you are willing to be open, honest – and in the process – help bring about life-change in people.

    Thank you.

  • Hi Beth. Thank you for visiting me today. I just became your newest follower. I haven’t read this book, but would very much like to. Thank you for your generous offer.

  • Sounds like a great book that I have not heard about and I do leadership coaching so it may be helpful. So glad you left a comment at my place so I could find you. Blessings!

  • This sounds like such an intriguing book! Please enter me in the drawing. Thanks.

  • The book sounds very interesting. Thank you for this wonderful giveaway. Have a wonderful day.

  • Heather Spooner

    Hi Beth. I would love to read this book. Please include me in the giveaway. Thanks so much!

  • it sounds like an interesting read… (and thanks so much for your kind comment over at my place 🙂

  • This book sounds intriguing. I’ve never heard of it before and I’m glad you highlighted it here.

  • Emily Wierenga

    this is hard for me, because part of me thinks, Jesus didn’t seek the safe people… he went to everyone who needed him… so i’m not sure how to protect myself while still being a servant?

  • Emily Wierenga

    ps. i’d be very interested in receiving the book 🙂

  • messymarriage

    Emily, you are right. This can be a very confusing topic. I probably should address it sometime. But for now, here’s a simple way to distinguish – when you help others out of obligation or resentment, then it is an unsafe behavior/attitude, but when you help others out of your love for Christ, it is not only safe, but lovely! 🙂

  • Emily Clark

    Put my name in the drawing for the book!

  • Heather

    Sounds like a book for me! I know I have had quite a few unsafe people in my life and have been making bad choices in people. I need the unsafe radar.

  • Tracy Norman

    would love to read this book!

  • Michael & Deonna W

    A friend led me to this link…glad she did! I had heard about this book a while ago and wanted to read it but had forgotten about it….until now. Definitely need to read this book!

  • messymarriage

    It’s a great read, Tracy. I hope you pick a copy up soon! 🙂

  • messymarriage

    I’m glad your friend led you here too! It is a classic and has lots of basics for understanding relationships and how to navigate unsafe ones. I hope you pick a copy up soon! 🙂