Spark #1 Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

In response to two recent comments, I want to address practical and/or romantic ways you can add a “spark” to your marriage. Since there are so many things that can reignite that spark, and since it often takes multiple efforts over time to rejuvenate a relationship, I don’t want to overwhelm you with a long list in one single time post.
So every two to three weeks I will introduce a new “spark” that can help ignite the passion in a marriage relationship. And from time to time, I will also invite some of you to share on mm a “spark” that you’ve discovered or know works. 
But most importantly, consider the “spark” posts as a personal challenge. Each time they are posted, make a point of injecting that “spark” into your own marriage relationship. 
Today’s “spark” is . . .
Do something with your spouse that your spouse lovessomething that you don’t ordinarily do with your spouse or that you don’t do well enough with your spouse.
For example, many women love to have a meaningful conversation with their husbands. But God has wired men differently in the area of conversation. Talking about anything other than sports, politics or work can be tiring or even fearful for most men.
For Men:
So maybe you could take your wife to a café to grab her favorite latte and then make it your mission to listen and engage with whatever she wants to talk about—without trying to fix her, judge her or monopolize the conversation. That can be a great way to win her heart.
For Women:
Many men would love for their wives to just sit and watch a football game with them. If you, as the wife, know nothing about the game, it could be a great chance to let your husband school you in the ways of football. Not only would you be joining him in something he loves, but also giving him the opportunity to teach you from his vast pool of sports-related knowledge! There’s nothing more gratifying to a football fan than having his wife ask him what 1st and 10 is for.
If your husband isn’t a sports fan, then maybe find some other pastime that he loves doing and join him in learning about it. He will appreciate your interest and company, paving the way for a greater sense of companionship for the two of you.
One word of caution, always ask your spouse what he or she would appreciate before doing any of the above. You may not find the right spot on your own, since you’re trying to scratch your spouse’s itch!
The bottom line for this post is, get out of your comfort zone and do what your spouse enjoys. It can make a noticeable difference in warming the temperature of your marriage relationship.
And report back to me how well it worked for you!


  1. I think my husband may be secretly reading your blog, because last night he sat up with me and watched the PBS airing of the London 25th Anniversary performance of Les Miserables WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP. It was nice as we met as music majors in collage, and as life has rolled on, we haven’t really had music as a common interest in a long time. Just sharing watching that program together led us to talking about music and technique and all that academic technical junk. It was indeed a bit “Sparkley”, like a bit of forgotten joy was rediscovered. I may keep up with what the LA LAKERS are doing this week.

  2. That’s so exciting, Kimberly! So good to know that you both are getting your “sparkley” on!