Staying Together When Stress Pulls You Apart

Today we’re back with a video where my husband Gary and I discuss a reader’s question about the challenge of staying together when stress threatens to pull you apart.

Stress in Life
In our video, we share fourteen different principles and steps that we try to practice whenever the tensions in our lives begin to divide us. Click on the video below to find out more about our conversation  . . .



We also hope you’ll click on this link Staying Close Inventory and take the quiz as a way to see what you and your mate might need to add or subtract from the way you typically deal with stress as a couple.

So how’d you do?


What are some steps that you need to include the next time stress begins to pull you away from your mate?


What are some steps that you might add to the list we gave?


If you have a question that you’d like us to answer in video form, please click here for a link to a survey that will not only keep your identity a secret but give you the freedom to write out what you question is in full.


Linking up with these fine blogs –  Making Your Home Sing, Moments of Hope, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Word of God Speak, Spiritual Sundays, Mama Shares Monday, Sitting Among Friends, Faith ‘n Friends, Fresh Market Friday and DanceWithJesusFriday


  • I think you have some good suggestions here. When I looked over the staying close inventory I could see some areas that need improving. Thank you for sharing your insights! I’m your neighbor at #FreshMarketFriday and #DanceWithJesus. Blessings to you!

    • I hope you find those ideas for what to add to your typical efforts with your hubby encouraging moving forward, Gayl. We all need to be prepared for those times when stressors pull us apart from our mates. Thanks for encouraging me, my friend!

  • I just love you guys … this is your best video ever! I’m going to be sending you-know-who the link to this fine conversation!

    Stressful seasons can wreck havoc on even the most fervent lifetime commitment. You’ve given us all some solid, much-needed wisdom. Superb!


    • Thank you, Linda! I truly appreciate your kindness to us. And I have to give credit where credit’s due–the ice storm that came through our neck of the woods the other day! ha! It gave us some down time that really came in handy for convincing Gary to do this. He is getting much more relaxed behind the camera as well. So I’m relieved and happy to know you noticed that.

      And yes, stressful seasons are so tough on couples. We’ve been through so many of those seasons, so we’re senior members of that school of hard knocks! And I do hope that the link you send “you-know-who” enjoys and benefits from it! Love you too, my friend from afar!

  • Will come back to the video later : ) Thanks for sharing this and serving as you do!

    • Thanks for stopping by, Bethany! Great to see you visiting again. 🙂

  • Love, love and love some more! Thanks for sharing this and putting yourselves “out there” for the rest of us. ♥

    • You are too sweet, Nannette! Thank “you” for being an encourager, my friend! Blessings to you and Doug!

  • Sherry Thecharmofhome

    How awesome is you video! Thanks for visiting my blog. Your doing great things here.

    • Thank you, Sherry! I appreciate your encouragement, my friend. We can sure use it, since “vlogging”–at least for my hubby–is a daunting venture! 😉

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Beth, this was great (and please excuse my delay in joining the conversation – being on the backside of CPR slowed me down).

    I have a question – what if one partner has a hard time with stress, and the other thrives on it? Barbara has said that all I need for happiness is a firefight every day, in which I’m outnumbered and marked to die.

    She, on the other hand, is the opposite. Needless to say those paradigms dare very,very hard to reconcile. She thinks that I consider her weak, and I think she considers me a lunatic

    I’m in my own private Alamo, and not unhappy. Death is a curiosity. But Barbara has to live in the real world with family and nieces and nephews and sibling and friends who look forward to engagement with the world as they expect it.

    Is there any way to address this besides throwing up one’s hands and retreating into individual corners?

    Sorry if this isn’t entirely coherent. Still trying to work my way back from, well, being dead (see the link below).

    • Thanks so much for coming by, watching and encouraging, Andrew–especially since you’ve gotten far too close to death’s door lately.

      I really like that question and at the moment as I think about it, I believe it will be a tough one to answer. But I’ll talk with Gary about it and see if we can’t get a video up to address that question sooner rather than later.

      Praying for you, my friend! And hoping you keep on hanging on to life–squeezing out every ounce of marrow to be had.

  • bluecottonmemory

    Lots of insightful nuggets. I like how each of you accepts and understands you each have challenges handling stress – you have owned/realized it – and as a result you can talk about it. Neither of you is defensive about it. I’d like to read about how you reach that point – the laying down of the defensive and concede it can be a problem. I am also interested in your response to Andrew. I don’t often listen to vlogs – but Beth, this was so encouraging! Shalom, friend! ~ Maryleigh

    • Yes, that was a tough place to come to, Maryleigh. But I suppose we both realized at some point that our marriage was going to die if we didn’t swallow our pride and admit our failures to each other. Now I see that as the only real answer for so many couples who limp along. Intimacy and trust are not for the faint of heart! But maybe you’re on to something–talking about how we learned to drop our guard with each other. I’ll have to mull on that one for sure, but I appreciate you stirring that thought. I also hope we can answer Andrew’s question soon as well. It might be a couple of weeks, but I’ll try to get my “camera-shy” hubby to agree! 😉 Thanks for your friendship and encouragement!

  • Nice video … but … I like the ones where you interview him; give him a good grilling! 😉

    The idea of praying together is appealing, and a resource that non-religious people wouldn’t have.

    I more or less failed every item on your inventory 😀 so I’ll use it as ideas for ways to improve. I am leaning a lot more on Jesus when my wife is snappy or ragey.

    One odd thing about stress & anxiety is that (for me anyway) they often appear not as emotions but as physical feelings (tense muscles, pulse racing), and I need to think to myself – why is that happening?