‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on […]

Can I out-shout you? SJT Video

In today’s “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I’m pulling back the curtains on a rather unflattering time when I made my messy marriage that much messier by trying to “out-shout” my husband in times of conflict! I hope you’ll check it out by clicking on the less than 3 minute video below!     One more […]

10 of My Favorite Posts

I’d like to share ten of my favorite posts (in no particular order) that I’ve done here at Messy Marriage. Most are recent, but there are a few that go a bit further back in the vault. I hope you find them to be encouraging, thought-provoking and marriage-challenging! Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Find God’s Redemptive […]

Why won’t you give as much as me? Sloppy Joe Time Video

For this “Sloppy Joe Time” I’m talking about the common human temptation to keep a record of all the wrongs my mate does against me. Since I know that God’s word tells me not to keep a record of wrongs, then what’s a girl to do? Well, I’ll tell ya what this girl is trying […]

Can ‘Not Apologizing’ Motivate My Mate? and WW Linkup!

Today I’m continuing my series on why I didn’t apologize to my mate, by tackling the third justification I mentioned two weeks ago. {To see that post click here.} “I believed that because his sins seemed so much worse and more glaring than mine, that by confessing, I would only be pacifying him. In doing […]

Is my secret ‘safe’? Video

Yes, it’s that time of the week to grab your “cup of joe” and join me for another “sloppy joe time!” In this video, I talk about the way I allowed my angry thoughts about my spouse to go from a minor messy meditation to a festering monstrosity in no time!  I’d love it if you’d take less than 3 minute to watch! […]

The Price of Retaliating

 In the book, Forgiving and Reconciling, Dr. Worthington talks about the “Injustice Gap.” It’s when we try to equalize the pain we’ve felt at the hands of our offender by requiring some kind of justice or amends. Dr. Worthington goes on to say that in trying to bridge the “Injustice Gap”, we don’t just require […]

Marriage Mistake #8 – Let My Spouse’s Bad Behavior Control Mine

The Mistaken Game My husband and I have had a game that we carried from our childhood into our marriage. No, we don’t play “Ken and Barbie” into all hours of the night, nor do we hold “who can belch the loudest?” contests either! You see, it’s the age old game of “Tit for Tat.” […]