10 of My Favorite Posts

I’d like to share ten of my favorite posts (in no particular order) that I’ve done here at Messy Marriage. Most are recent, but there are a few that go a bit further back in the vault. I hope you find them to be encouraging, thought-provoking and marriage-challenging! Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Find God’s Redemptive […]

‘Everybody Loves Vulnerability’ And WW Linkup!

I am still unpacking what I feel are the important aspects of creating a confessional culture today, which leads me to share about a vulnerable and unflattering moment of mine in my own marriage. Sometimes the best way to communicate a reality is to learn from a real-life and raw human encounter in marriage. It […]

When Your Apology is Used Against You – And WW Linkup!

It’s never easy to make yourself vulnerable nor to lay your heart out on the table in a sincere and humble apology before the one person on earth who matters most—your spouse. But what’s worse is when your spouse uses your apology against you. Typically, a spouse won’t do this unless: Your spouse simply got […]

3 Ways to Handle a Failed Confession And WW Linkup!

Sometimes you do everything to prepare your heart and mind for a confessional moment with your spouse, and yet it fails! How can that happen? Typically this happens in the heat of the moment and for various reasons. Consider this scenario: You’ve prayed and processed, processed and prayed and feel that you’re ready to humbly […]

When and When NOT To Apologize – Plus WW Linkup!

Creating a confessional culture in your marriage should be developed with both discernment and timing in mind. Like most changes you want to make in life or marriage, you must go slowly and strategically, unless you are prepared for the entire effort to backfire on you! This is especially true if your spouse is not […]

How to Apologize Effectively and WW Linkup!

I grew up in a home where apologies were rarely extended or witnessed. We were a loving bunch, but somehow this important practice of acknowledging our sins and apologizing to each other was never clearly present, at least not in my view. Unfortunately, that also became true for my marriage in the early days. Gary […]

Why Confession is Worth the Risk! And WW Linkup!

I’m currently conducting a survey with men {or husbands in particular} that asks, What makes opening up and confessing to a mate or girlfriend so difficult? I only have a small number who’ve responded so far, but the answers to this one question have revealed a glaringly apparent fear of rejection. The sad fact is […]

Will you soothe my mood? SJT Video

Ever give yourself permission to vent with your spouse? Well, I certainly do and have! In my latest “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I share what I’m trying to get my spouse to do when I vent (yes, that means “messy manipulation” is present!). And I share the three positive strategies I’m using to turn that […]

Can ‘Not Apologizing’ Motivate My Mate? and WW Linkup!

Today I’m continuing my series on why I didn’t apologize to my mate, by tackling the third justification I mentioned two weeks ago. {To see that post click here.} “I believed that because his sins seemed so much worse and more glaring than mine, that by confessing, I would only be pacifying him. In doing […]

How I was a Right-Fighter And WW Linkup!

I’m continuing to unpack why I didn’t confess my faults and sins to my husband in the early days of my marriage, focusing today on . . . Distortion Two – “If I’m right, I shouldn’t have to apologize!” It goes like this . . . If I’m saying the right things Or If I’m […]