‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on […]

What Men Say About Opening Up And WW Linkup!

Today we are diving into the first of the responses from the “Men and Openness” survey. The first question I posed to men was: What makes opening up and disclosing your feelings to your wife difficult? Here are the results … 65.52% – I am afraid my wife will become upset by my disclosures. 53.45% […]

A Wife’s Perspective on Men and Openness And WW Linkup!

In a couple of weeks I will be diving into a series on “Men and Openness” that’s based upon a survey that I’ve been conducting for several months now. But today I want to approach this sticky subject from my own feminine and often skewed (probably due to Estrogen) perspective. 😉 My husband and I […]

Can Prayer Change Us? SJT Video

It’s time for another “Sloppy Joe Time” and today I’m talking about how crazy it was for me and my hubby to think we could avoid a messy marriage without making a commitment to pray together daily. Find out what this one small act did for our marriage and what it can do for yours […]

Can I out-shout you? SJT Video

In today’s “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I’m pulling back the curtains on a rather unflattering time when I made my messy marriage that much messier by trying to “out-shout” my husband in times of conflict! I hope you’ll check it out by clicking on the less than 3 minute video below!     One more […]

A Tool for Recapturing Young Love

As many of you know, my oldest son, Jordan, recently married his sweetheart, Sarah, back in June. The joy and enthusiasm of their young love is proving to be very inspiring to me an oldie-wed. Since Sarah is a blogger, photographer, and videographer, my husband and I have lots of opportunities to witness their love […]

10 of My Favorite Posts

I’d like to share ten of my favorite posts (in no particular order) that I’ve done here at Messy Marriage. Most are recent, but there are a few that go a bit further back in the vault. I hope you find them to be encouraging, thought-provoking and marriage-challenging! Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Find God’s Redemptive […]

Peacemaker or Peacekeeper? And WW Linkup

Since my post last week encouraged the extending of grace to our mates, I felt it was important to explain the difference between giving grace (peacemaking) and enabling unhealthy behavior (peacekeeping). After all … Enabling and extending grace are two very different things that often get mistaken for each other. Click To Tweet I’ve provided […]

When Your Apology is Used Against You – And WW Linkup!

It’s never easy to make yourself vulnerable nor to lay your heart out on the table in a sincere and humble apology before the one person on earth who matters most—your spouse. But what’s worse is when your spouse uses your apology against you. Typically, a spouse won’t do this unless: Your spouse simply got […]

Can ‘Not Apologizing’ Motivate My Mate? and WW Linkup!

Today I’m continuing my series on why I didn’t apologize to my mate, by tackling the third justification I mentioned two weeks ago. {To see that post click here.} “I believed that because his sins seemed so much worse and more glaring than mine, that by confessing, I would only be pacifying him. In doing […]