The ABC’s of How to Forgive a Spouse And Linkup

One of the gusty winds people often feel in marriage has to do with a heart growing cold out of a need to forgive a mate. I was there in that frigid place many years ago and still find myself tempted to return to that icy and unforgiving place whenever my husband hurts me. Because […]

What Extending Grace Looks like in Marriage – Plus Linkup

One of the things that has often confounded me is, when do I extend grace? Is it all the time? And what does grace even look like, especially in marriage? I think of grace like forgiveness—letting something go. After all, the Lord certainly has let go of the need to punish me for my sin—dying […]

What Distorts and Damages Men’s Openness? And Linkup

I’m picking up where we left off from the “Men and Openness Survey” series by unpacking question number 4 from the survey … What outside sources have been hindrances to you opening up and sharing your feelings with your wife? (I let the men choose all that applied.) 55.56% – The poor example I saw […]

The Day I Walked Out on My Husband And WW Linkup

Today we have Aimee Imbeau who blogs at A Work of Grace with us sharing a guest post and hosting Wedded Wednesday while I am on vacation. I hope you’ll welcome her with oodles of comments and encouragement! 😉 I was devastated by his careless words spoken the night before as I walked out my […]

Plank Hunt – My Unforgiving Ways And WW Linkup

I’m excited to get back to the “Plank Hunt” series because it’s so important to realize the power we have to impact our marriage for the better by taking responsibility for our “planks” (see Mt. 7:3-5). I’m sharing today about one of mine that I found in doing the “Character Flaw Inventory.” If you didn’t […]

Peacemaker or Peacekeeper? And WW Linkup

Since my post last week encouraged the extending of grace to our mates, I felt it was important to explain the difference between giving grace (peacemaking) and enabling unhealthy behavior (peacekeeping). After all … Enabling and extending grace are two very different things that often get mistaken for each other. Click To Tweet I’ve provided […]

Covering for My Spouse and WW Linkup

I think there’s just something in the DNA of every human being that tries to cover up vulnerabilities and weaknesses that we see in ourselves. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about, because that describes me much more than I’d like to admit! However, I think this pattern started way back in the Garden […]

My Gift to You! And WW Linkup!

Christmas is the season for giving, because our Lord and Savior came to earth as a babe in a manger—ultimately giving His life for us on the cross! That’s why I want to give to you, my Messy Marriage subscribers, a gift that I’ve been feverishly working on for months. I thought it would be […]

Assuming Too Much & WW Link Up!

Part of what I do as a counselor and life coach is to “speculate.” It’s easy to let this “skill” that’s often appropriate in one setting, carry over to my personal relationships where it is far from appropriate! In fact, whenever I’m around my hubby and speculate about what someone might think or feel, he very matter-of-factly […]

How Successful is Your Reconciliation? And Link Up

There’s no easy answer to the question: What are the signs that reconciliation is not going to work? But … I would like to offer you Leslie Vernick’s three essential ingredients to a thriving relationship as a guide for assessing how well your reconciliation {particularly in marriage} is going. The first essential ingredient is … […]