How to Prepare for Reconciliation

Most broken relationships don’t have one offender and one victim who never swap roles. Most broken relationships involve two flawed and sinful humans who’ve hurt each other, sometimes deeply and often continuously. This is often especially true in marriage. And don’t forget that typically the people involved can’t see the extent to which they’ve hurt […]

Does Forgiving Require Reconciling?

Today I’m addressing Myth #7 taken from my post, 7 Biggest Myths of Forgiveness, “If I forgive, I must reconcile with my offender.” This one really should be titled, “If my offender is a perpetual boundary buster, then the nice, Christian thing to do to is be like Jesus, ‘turn the other cheek,’ and remain […]

I Want to Wear Humility

Lately God has been dealing with my “pride.” Ugh! That’s such an ugly word and admission! I guess you could say, “it hurts my pride to say I struggle with pride!” How’s that for contradictory?! So I’m trying to grasp and live out humility, especially whenever I feel that pride rearing its “ugly head.” In […]

Waiting on Your Offender to Repent?

Oh my! Today I’m tackling a tough one, people! Myth #6 – If I forgive, my offender must recognize his/her wrong against me, or it’s invalid or not “total forgiveness.” There’s a line of thought, especially in some Christian circles, that believes forgiveness is … “A commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant […]

Does Forgiveness Forfeit Protection?

Today we’re addressing another myth of forgiveness … If I forgive, I lay down any right to protect myself. Just like the myth before it, “If I forgive, I’m letting my offender off the hook of responsibility” – there’s both truth and myth in this belief. The myth The idea that if I forgive, I’m […]

Does forgiving let my offender off the hook?

Today we’re continuing in our forgiveness series, debunking the myth – “If I forgive, I’m letting my offender off the hook of responsibility.” Like most myths this one has both falsehood and truth. Let’s start with the truth … In Jesus’ parable of the “Unmerciful Servant” in Matthew 18:21-35, Christ’s example of forgiveness is illustrated […]

Does Forgiving Say It Was Okay?

Today, we’re continuing in our series on forgiveness, tackling another myth of forgiveness: If I forgive, am I saying that what my offender did was okay? Our perspective – This belief is a tough one because, I’ll be the first one to say, it’s scary to make yourself vulnerable to the one who hurt you! […]

Myth 1 & 2 – Forgive and Feel Better?

Today we’re addressing two myths – If I forgive, I will immediately and automatically feel better. If I forgive, I won’t feel hurt or angry again, no matter how many times my offender reoffends. One of the biggest motivators for me to forgive is the promise of feeling better. So let me clear – I’m […]

The 7 Biggest Myths of Forgiveness

I’m continuing my forgiveness series in the coming weeks by giving greater clarity to the myths people often embrace about forgiveness. 7 Myths of Forgiveness If I forgive, I will immediately and automatically feel better. If I forgive, I won’t feel hurt or angry again, no matter how many times my offender reoffends. If I […]

When You Don’t Feel Like Forgiving

If you’ve lived with the day in and day out abuse or hurt from a boundary-busting offender for very long, it’s easy to feel so fed up that you don’t want to forgive him or her. You may have come to believe the half-truth that forgiving someone means “you’ve let them off the hook.” Or […]