5 Differences between Journaling and Prayer Journaling Plus Linkup

Last week I began a mini-series on prayer journaling that naturally sparked some conversation about journaling in the comments. Though journaling and prayer journaling are synonyms, I wanted to write a post about the differences I see between these two helpful practices. So I hope you’ll indulge me for a bit of a “rabbit trail” […]

How Prayer Journaling Improved My Marriage And Linkup

One of the main blessings I’ve experienced with the many prayers I’ve written out over the years is how it always brings such comfort when I’ve felt hurt in my marriage. Back in my very messy marriage years, I expected my hubby to be the main person who would comfort me—even and especially when he […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up! Video

Getting a reluctant mate to open up to you is about as easy as coaxing a cranky toddler to eat his peas. At least, that’s what I’ve discovered in my own life. And it’s also what I’ve heard from countless others, especially wives, in conversationless marriages. Today I’m answering another reader’s question in my “Questioning […]

Are You Pushing or Encouraging Your Mate Spiritually?

Most of you know that I’m a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of pushing my hubby spiritually when it seems like he’s not pursuing God with the same intensity as I am. Of course, sometimes he feels that way about me too. 😉 We all go through seasons when our spiritual […]

3 Ways I’m Dealing with an Empty-Nest

I’m walking over an incredibly monumental transition or “threshold” in my life—that of being a full-fledged Empty Nester. Since that’s the case, I’ve felt like it might be good to do a series on the many “thresholds” we all go through in marriage and life. I will be alternating these posts with my videos that […]

Discussing Sticky Issues with Your Mate Without Getting Stuck

If you’re like me, you’ve often let your mouth fly wide open to reveal the manipulative and prideful intentions behind an effort “to discuss” a sticky issue. Ugh! You’re thinking that your words will bring clarity and understanding for your mate (cue the sound of angels singing from heaven). But all you really offered your […]

How to Find Hope with a Perfectionist Spouse

Have you ever felt like your spouse is a perfectionist? Maybe a little too critical and “problem-solving” in moments where you’d like to simply be heard, cheered on or comforted? [Tweet “Well, I’ve been there (with my mate) and I’ve done that (to my mate). #perfectionisticmate”] One of the double-edge gifts that God has given […]

Going for the Gold in Marriage?

The reason I was going through the driest, darkest and most discouraging time(s) in my marriage was because I was not doing something very crucial. Although I knew about this crucial focus, and in many ways completely believed that it was important and true, I did not let it consistently guide my thoughts, feelings and […]