Lord, why aren’t You answering? SJT Video

I’m finally back today after much vacationing and celebrating of my son’s wedding—not to mention, technical/computer issues bogging me down—with yet another “Sloppy Joe Time.” Thanks so much for your patience with me in this! Today I’m delving into a sloppy expectation I had with God in regards to my husband and my painful, messy […]

3 Ways to Handle a Failed Confession And WW Linkup!

Sometimes you do everything to prepare your heart and mind for a confessional moment with your spouse, and yet it fails! How can that happen? Typically this happens in the heat of the moment and for various reasons. Consider this scenario: You’ve prayed and processed, processed and prayed and feel that you’re ready to humbly […]

When and When NOT To Apologize – Plus WW Linkup!

Creating a confessional culture in your marriage should be developed with both discernment and timing in mind. Like most changes you want to make in life or marriage, you must go slowly and strategically, unless you are prepared for the entire effort to backfire on you! This is especially true if your spouse is not […]

How to Apologize Effectively and WW Linkup!

I grew up in a home where apologies were rarely extended or witnessed. We were a loving bunch, but somehow this important practice of acknowledging our sins and apologizing to each other was never clearly present, at least not in my view. Unfortunately, that also became true for my marriage in the early days. Gary […]

Will you soothe my mood? SJT Video

Ever give yourself permission to vent with your spouse? Well, I certainly do and have! In my latest “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I share what I’m trying to get my spouse to do when I vent (yes, that means “messy manipulation” is present!). And I share the three positive strategies I’m using to turn that […]

3 ways dating your spouse is like prayer; and 2 keys to getting better at both! {WW Linkup}

I’m grateful to have Steve Pare from Spouse Dates guest posting with us today! Steve has an incredible and much-needed vision to encourage couples to pursue their mates through dating. You’ll find practical resources like – testimonials from couples who’ve found dating to be crucial to their satisfaction, as well as, a free e-book, 75 […]

How can I cope? SJT Video on resistance to wounds

This follow up Sloppy Joe Time video continues to address what to do when your spouse resists looking at his/her wounds. Last week’s video unpacked the first two suggestions and today’s video gives two more vital steps in the effort to “cope.” The emphasis is on creating a safe zone for your wounded spouse to […]

Lessen Stress with 2 Thoughts! and WW Linkup

This is a long one—longer than I like to post—but it’s funny and, I think, worth the read! This past week we celebrated Thanksgiving here in the U.S. and I worked really hard … AND I worked really hard at shifting my focus from feelings of self-pity and negativity too! I think this time of year is […]

4 Year Blogaversary, Giveaways and Linkup!

I can’t believe it’s been four years since I launched Messy Marriage way back in October of 2010. Since then, much has happened in my life and in the life of this blog, but one thing has remained constant … my personal pursuit of a surrendered heart to God. That’s because I know a surrendered […]

But what do you ‘feel’ about it? and Linkup!

As a life-coach and especially as a woman who’s always loved to explore the intricacies of feelings, I ask that question {in my title} a lot. That’s because most people tend to answer with what they think about a subject or proceed to tell me what they’ve done with that situation and slip right past the […]