The Drought of 2012

Written by Stacey Micklevitz

Messy Marriage Team Member

You’d have to be living under a rock to be unaware of this year’s drought. Add to that the record heat, and you’re walking earth that yearns for water. We’re at a point where an occasional rain won’t even make a dent in the severe deficit that’s affecting our yards and crops. This drought is so severe that underground water lines are cracking and breaking due to settling earth that hasn’t been so deeply dry in years.

Ironic, huh? 

drought
photo by taigasylvan

Droughts are devastating. Slow deprivation of much needed, life-giving resources leads to often irreparable damages.

The drought of 2012 has been wearing on me, but it’s a different kind of drought. To be frank, Bryan and I have not been on a date since January.

Wow – seven months and counting!!!

We see each other daily. We’ve been on vacation together, been out with friends, and enjoyed countless outings with family. We’ve even been surprised with last-minute offers from the grandparents to keep our boys for an impromptu sleepover. However, our “dates” have been nonexistent for most of the year.

To ensure that we’re on the same page, let me define “date.” A date (for us) is time WITHOUT our children, preferably out of the house. Dates don’t have to be fancy—dinner and a movie would suffice.

Dates serve as a reason to purposely get cleaned/fixed/dolled up for our spouse (break out the razor, ladies!), give us an opportunity to focus on our spouse—providing undivided attention, and even create an atmosphere where sparks can fly, hands can touch, uninterrupted kisses can occur, and one thing can lead to ….. you know where!!!

In our defense, we had several circumstances, which led to difficulties in finding time to spend alone together. Firstly, immediately following our last date, we moved into our dream home. Talk about overwhelming!

Right after that, our youngest developed pneumonia causing him to be hospitalized for two nights during the very weekend we’d planned a joint birthday party for him and his brother.

We had doctor’s appointments, projects in our new home, and family vacations scheduled.

Soaring heat tightened our purse strings in anticipation of super-high cooling costs resulting from an inefficient, over-taxed, nearly-dead air conditioner.

We had a death in the family, our oldest started kindergarten, and our youngest increased his separation anxiety response rather than growing out of it.

Oh, and Bryan’s schedule is so irregular that coordinating times with a sitter that matched his availability are difficult. Sometimes, it really IS easier to just stay home.

But, am I making excuses??

The truth is that we’ve made it to important adult-only functions and meetings. In my heart I know what we NEED to do.

We MUST make dates a priority.

I’m not saying that we have to have one weekly or even monthly, but it has been WAY too long since we’ve connected in this way and I miss spending quality one-on-one time with my hubby. Besides, there’s just something about seeing him dressed in jeans and wearing the cologne he reserves just for me.

I’m getting all sweaty-palmed just thinking about it ….

Luckily, our relationship hasn’t suffered too much from the lack of spending time together in this way. There’s no resentment for not doing it and no one to blame. Yet, I know how much just one date night can recharge our batteries and reaffirm our love and what attracted us to each other years ago.

The LAST thing I want for us is to suddenly be facing an empty nest and realize that the busyness of life has taken over and left us and our relationship behind …

Note to self – schedule Date Night! PRONTO!!!

Today’s Post is Linked to –
 WIPWednesday
and
  • We haven’t been on a date recently, either! Thank you for convicting me…better get something scheduled 🙂

  • Christina Fox

    Oh, us too! Life gets in the way and before you know it, the kids are out of the house. Thanks for the encouragement to stop making excuses!

  • messymarriage

    Stacey, as usual, you’re desire to protect and nurture your marriage always encourages me to do the same. I love your enthusiasm and am so grateful to share this taste of what life is like for so many frazzled and busy young couples. Gary and I have made dating a priority throughout our marriage and know that it is worth the effort!

  • Linda Stoll

    Yep … sounds like it’s time to break out the Date Night again! Go for it! We like to head up north in a different direction than where everyone we know lives, so we don’t run into anyone we know, and we can just have fun without thinking about everybody and everything else.
    Have fun!

  • I totally agree. Yep, ladies, you heard a man agree with you all!

    • Lol! Yes, RPh- we’re glad to know a man agrees. Now, I just need to iron out the details with MY RPh, and we’ll be good to go! 😉 Thanks for reading!!

    • Lol! Yes, RPh- we’re glad to know a man agrees. Now, I just need to iron out the details with MY RPh, and we’ll be good to go! 😉 Thanks for reading!!

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Thanks Nikki! I am so glad I could inspire someone to “get something scheduled!” Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Christina~ I think one of the biggest struggles is life getting in the way! I am glad I could encourage you to stop making excuses – which is so easy to do in this case. Thank you for the encouragement, too. 🙂

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Beth, as you know, my marriage relationship is sacred to me and I cherish it. I am grateful to have you as a like-minded friend. Many of the things that take effort in life are valuable. Thank you for allowing me to express how important marriage is to me and for giving me an opportunity to encourage others to feel the same! 🙂

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Linda~ That reminds me of a time that Bryan surprised me with a night out by arranging that his parents watch our boys while we went for an over-night stay in Springfield, IL – about an hour north. Our favorite part of the stay was the anonymity. Forced us to focus on one another, exclusively. Thank you so much for sharing! 🙂

  • Ameriah Sink

    It’s hard sometimes, but for me, date nights must be a priority. If i have reached the point of not caring/striving for a date night, then u better call a marriage counselor quick!

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Ameriah~ I am glad to know you hold date nights as a priority. I know they are important, and I need to make them HAPPEN! Thanks for your comment! 🙂

  • Heather C

    Wonderful way to remind others that dating is just as important after marriage and kids as it is before.

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Thanks so much for the encouragement, Heather! 🙂 Good to hear from you.

  • Stacey Micklevitz

    Do any of the readers know why I can only see certain comments when I use my phone, but others show up on my laptop? In addition, when I comment using my phone, my photo appears, but when I use my computer, it doesn’t. Lastly, my comment double posted when I used my phone, but not when I used my computer. WEIRD!!!

  • Date nights are important! I tell my clients with young children that sometimes we have to lower our expectations of “date”. For example, pizza by candlelight in the living room floor after the kids are in bed might have to suffice for a season of life.

    Thanks for linking with WIP!

    • Mart Beth, I LOVE your idea about lowering expectations! I love pizza, too. 🙂 These ideas just might get us through when the child-care issue just won’t pan out for us. Thanks a bunch for your comment. 🙂