Does What I Feel Really Matter?

Today’s article is another “Share Your Story” contribution from blogger, Jennifer of Finding Fruit  cristee 12 (Flickr) It started weeks ago, a quick harsh word said to me. The word itself was not harsh, I don’t even remember what it was. But my body jumped up as if burned. I walked away not wanting to […]

Consumed with Making My Spouse Perfect

Back some 25 years ago, I didn’t marry the man that I now call my husband. No, I haven’t gotten a divorce and remarried a different man. I simply married the man I believed would change to suit my preferences and ideals. In hindsight, I can clearly see that was the … Wrong Approach!    […]

7 Ways to Develop Empathy and Gain Insight into Your Mate

I’ve discovered there’s one common denominator for making a marriage messier and that’s … a lack of empathy. What is Empathy? Empathy is the ability to come alongside someone, and not only understand a person’s point of view, but also feel the other person’s pain. How Do You Develop Empathy? There are seven ways, among […]

How to Forgive the Continual Offender

  Okay, my title is a cleverly disguised attempt at “word-management.” Actually, what I really meant to say is, “How to Forgive Your Spouse” because … let’s be honest folks, our spouses offend us A LOT! We ask our spouse to pick up his/her dirty clothes and our spouse nods with agreement, but what do […]

Forgiving My Earthly Father

Last week I wrote about how my earthly “father issues” have negatively impacted my relationship with my husband, but with the emphasis being on my relationship with God. And I want to follow that up next time with how my father issues have impacted “my marriage.”  But this time around, I want to take the […]


Written by Heather Copple Messy Marriage Team Member All of us come with baggage—it’s just a fact. Well, one of my big steamer trunks of “baggage” contains my abandonment issues. I have such big issues with it that I also have another steamer trunk that holds my attachment problems. Abandonment and attachment problems do not […]

The Secret to Contentment

I remember the realization like it was yesterday. My husband and I were emerging out of a long, difficult period into a promising new venture. I was walking high and so excited for what this adventure might bring our way. I was determined and hopeful that this new pathway was going to usher in our […]

Falling Forward

Sometimes I let the doubts about who I am—messiness and all—get me down. I wonder, How can I ever lead others into healing and wholeness in marriage or life, if I don’t have it all together myself?   The reality is that very often I don’t feel qualified. I don’t feel capable. I don’t feel […]

Spouse Resistant to Counseling?

Last week, I responded to a question from a commenter regarding a spouse who’s resistant to going to marriage counseling. After breaking the question down into two concerns, today I’m addressing the second concern … What if you or your spouse had a bad experience with counseling, is counseling really necessary and helpful?  The short […]


Written by Heather Copple Messy Marriage Team Member Scott and I look at the world very differently for many reasons. Our gender, our childhoods and our personalities are the main reasons for those differences. Some of the differences bring out the best in each other and some don’t really do anything good or bad, but […]