24 Ways to Show and Grow in Grace in Your Life and Marriage

Recently I’ve been sharing about my one word for 2018—“grace!” But sharing about it versus living it out is so much easier to say than do. That’s why I really want to nail it down biblically, so that I increase my tendency to be gracious in every circumstance—including and especially in my marriage. My hope […]

Arithmetic – Counting What Counts When Discouraged in Marriage And Linkup

I don’t know where you were when the solar eclipse occurred, but in my neck of the woods, we had an excellent view of it. Some said 99.5%! I feel as if the eclipse is a good way to illustrate my next “lesson” in my Back to School series—“Arithmetic – Counting What Counts.” I think […]

Stage Two of Confronting a Spouse And Linkup!

In marriage, a lot of couples are able to work through at least a minor to moderate-level conflict without the help of a third or fourth party. 😉  In fact, there’s even advice from Scripture that says outside parties should steer clear of a conflict that is not their own! #dogbite “Interfering in someone else’s […]

First Step to Confront with Grace – And Linkup

Last week I introduced the idea that “grace” is not only shown when we overlook an offense, or even when we hold our tongue and patiently pray for God to convict the other party, but it’s also shown when we confront our offender. But how can that be considered “grace”—to confront someone? Doesn’t that sound […]

How Your Marriage Factors into Your Bible Study Habit And Linkup

Whenever we slow ourselves to be with God through daily prayer and Bible study, we will inevitably face distractions, discouragements and difficulties that can pull us away from this pursuit. It’s never easy to start and maintain a good habit, but so much harder when we start this very important sacred habit. So how do […]

How to Connect with God Daily And Linkup

With all the knowledge I’ve gleaned and used over the years as a marriage counselor and life-coach, none of that really made as big of a difference in my marriage as connecting daily with God. But the biggest challenge for most people seems to be establishing that sacred habit. So today I will be sharing […]

2 Reasons Why I Need ‘Filter’ to be My Word for 2017

I have to admit something—I didn’t choose a word to focus on for 2016. I know you’re probably like, What??!! Are you kidding me? . . . What self-respecting Christian blogger doesn’t choose a word to focus on, be challenged by, and apply time-after-time all throughout the year? Well, apparently this one. 🙁 #bloggerfail If […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up! Video

Getting a reluctant mate to open up to you is about as easy as coaxing a cranky toddler to eat his peas. At least, that’s what I’ve discovered in my own life. And it’s also what I’ve heard from countless others, especially wives, in conversationless marriages. Today I’m answering another reader’s question in my “Questioning […]