Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]

How Grief and Humility Sets You Free And WW Linkup

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make […]

How to Replace an Addiction or Bad Habit And WW Linkup

Today we are continuing the “Resurrect Me” series by delving into what it means to surrender and replace our addictions and habitual sins. I’ve been using a passage in James as our roadmap throughout this series. So let’s look at what’s next . . . “Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he […]

Call it what it is—Adultery! And WW Linkup

I have a confession to make … I’m an adulterer. 🙁 Sadly, I have sins in my life that have moved from a one time offense, to a habit, to a compulsion, to an addiction. I mentioned some of those in my last post that you can read here. In fact, we all need to […]

When Addiction is Subtle And WW Linkup

Today I want to move forward in our “Resurrect Me” series on the addictions, compulsions and bad habits we ALL have in our lives by focusing on the next verse in our key passage (James 4:1-10), verse 3 … “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may […]

Resurrect Me from the Pull of My Desires And Linkup

In my new series—Resurrect Me—I want to explore all the ways you and I let addictions, compulsions and bad habits drag us back to the “grave” of our former selves (Rom. 7:22-25). This unbridled and relentless hunger can be especially destructive in marriage—making it so very messy and ugly. There’s an important passage in James […]

The Allure of the Illegitimate in Marriage

Today I’m continuing to unpack another way we can let our spouses control us with – “Choosing to have an affair or to look at pornography because you believe you’ve been deprived of ‘whatever’ in your marriage.” I have a sneaking suspicion that the spouses who need this message the most are not going to […]

7 Reasons Marriage Counseling May Fail

Last week we had the privilege of having Robi Smith of Hopeful Wife Today share a piece of her very brave testimony about her husband’s pornography addiction and how they are working toward putting their marriage together with God’s help. However, I noticed that Robi responded to a comment in the comment section, saying that […]

Trusting God with My Marriage And WW Linkup

Guest post by blogger – Robi Smith of Hopefulwifetoday.com It was three and a half years ago that I discovered my husband was addicted to pornography. I had been looking through his phone when I stumbled upon deleted still screens of images from porn websites. It came to me as a total shock. My husband […]

Bringing Balance to Our Families {Linkup and Giveaway!}

I was raised in your standard, run-of-the-mill dysfunctional home. I didn’t know it at the time, but in my family of origin codependency abounded! Some people make the mistake of assuming that you can only be “codependent” if there’s an addict who is “dependent” upon drugs or alcohol in your family. But codependency happens whenever there is […]