How to Find Hope with a Perfectionist Spouse

Have you ever felt like your spouse is a perfectionist? Maybe a little too critical and “problem-solving” in moments where you’d like to simply be heard, cheered on or comforted? [Tweet “Well, I’ve been there (with my mate) and I’ve done that (to my mate). #perfectionisticmate”] One of the double-edge gifts that God has given […]

Is Your Love for Your Mate Failing?

Persevering in life and in certain painful seasons of marriage can feel so very overwhelming and discouraging, especially when the pain lingers for an extended time. We can feel helpless and confused about what to do next. Even worse we can feel like we have nothing left to give, nor want to give—perhaps because we […]

What I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup

Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house. But it was a doozy of a misunderstanding on both our parts. I won’t go into all […]

Purging Pride And Linkup is Back!

As many of you know, my hubby Gary and I have wanted to get our house ready to put on the market for quite sometime (we’re empty-nesters who desperately need to downsize). So I pulled away from “everything”—including blogging—for the month of June to get our house in shape for that big day that I […]

My Failure to Control Myself And WW Linkup

I find it funny (or sad—you pick!) that, not only can I have trouble with being too controlling with my hubby, but I can go to the other extreme and not be controlling enough—of at least myself! [Tweet “My failure with control is contradictory! #whatsupwiththat? #controlfreak #outofcontrol”] I’m continuing the series—“My Failures, God’s Inroads”—with a […]

My Failures, God’s Inroads And WW Linkup!

I’ve been studying in 1st Samuel and God has been bringing to my attention all the times that people either wrongly let pride overtake them or rightly let humility be their response to circumstances. [Tweet “I honestly think God brings to our attention the very things we need! #Ineedhumility”] In fact, humility is one area […]

Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

How Grief and Humility Sets You Free And WW Linkup

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make […]

Resurrect Me from the Pull of My Desires And Linkup

In my new series—Resurrect Me—I want to explore all the ways you and I let addictions, compulsions and bad habits drag us back to the “grave” of our former selves (Rom. 7:22-25). This unbridled and relentless hunger can be especially destructive in marriage—making it so very messy and ugly. There’s an important passage in James […]

Taming Triggers in Your Marriage and Life Plus WW Linkup

You’d think that after almost 29 years of marriage, my hubby and I would have tamed all of the “beasts” that arise from the moments when our wounds are triggered … but you would be wrong! 😉 I think it’s sort of like the apostle Paul’s “thorn” that God did not remove from his life […]