Why Your Resolutions Aren’t Working

If you’re living in a messy marriage (and who isn’t to some degree or another?), you probably want change, at least for the better. Problem is, you might want that change to occur in your spouse rather than strapping the load to your own back. Mistake Number 1 – Expecting your marriage to get better […]

Is God at Work?

Lately God’s impressed upon me one important aspect of His M.O. (“mode of operation”—yes, I know … I watch too many crime shows and know the lingo all too well!) God is busy at work in our lives, but very often He is busy in the … Unseen, spiritual realm. Remembering this has encouraged me, […]

Repeating the Past?

Like it or not, humans are creatures of habit … by harminder dhesi photography Especially when we feel our habit is not “complete.” We like to resolve things, fix things, have a “happy ending,” if you will—clinging to them, like a dog to an old bone!  That’s why we end up being drawn into marriages […]

Y2Khaos

Written by Kimberly GreenMessy Marriage Team Member Rob Boudon December of 1999 found me in a local supermarket purchasing a significant amount of canned goods, gallons of water, boxes of powdered milk, and a significant supply of batteries. January 1st, 2000 at midnight, millions of computers all over the world would herald the apocalypse. We […]

Are You Motivating or Manipulating Your Spouse?

Isn’t it always easier to see what our spouse needs to do than what we need to do?  I can easily get caught up in this problem, since I’m also a counselor and life-coach. I can diagnose an unhealthy attitude or action, and step in with my “trusty counselor’s voice” to bring my husband down […]

Consumed with Making My Spouse Perfect

Back some 25 years ago, I didn’t marry the man that I now call my husband. No, I haven’t gotten a divorce and remarried a different man. I simply married the man I believed would change to suit my preferences and ideals. In hindsight, I can clearly see that was the … Wrong Approach!    […]

Consumed with Status Quo

  I know I’m dating myself here, but this topic reminds me of the popular 70’s disco tune, “Rock the Boat.” Are any of you old enough to remember it? The balladeer wanted everyone to know that he didn’t want his “baby” rocking the boat, or to put it another way, changing the status quo […]

When Your Spouse is "The Problem"

Years ago I had this blind-spot in my life. I felt like I had no control over the pain I was experiencing—especially at the hands of my husband. I felt like a helpless victim tied to the proverbial train tracks while my husband was the locomotive, barreling down the tracks and aiming right at me! […]

The Gradual Slide to Disconnection

 It’s a bittersweet moment to watch your son move from being a college student to being a college grad. I’m so happy for him and his huge accomplishment, but there’s something inside of me that wants to go back to the days when he ran to my arms for comfort or believed everything I said […]

Learning the Hard Way

If you are in a messy marriage, you may feel like, “When are things going to get easier?” Maybe you’ve gone to counseling, you’ve prayed and prayed for your marriage, you’ve worked on communicating better with your spouse, you’ve read marriage book after marriage book, and next to nothing ever happens or changes for the […]