Consumed with Making My Spouse Perfect

Back some 25 years ago, I didn’t marry the man that I now call my husband. No, I haven’t gotten a divorce and remarried a different man. I simply married the man I believed would change to suit my preferences and ideals. In hindsight, I can clearly see that was the … Wrong Approach!    […]

Consumed with Status Quo

  I know I’m dating myself here, but this topic reminds me of the popular 70’s disco tune, “Rock the Boat.” Are any of you old enough to remember it? The balladeer wanted everyone to know that he didn’t want his “baby” rocking the boat, or to put it another way, changing the status quo […]

When Your Spouse is "The Problem"

Years ago I had this blind-spot in my life. I felt like I had no control over the pain I was experiencing—especially at the hands of my husband. I felt like a helpless victim tied to the proverbial train tracks while my husband was the locomotive, barreling down the tracks and aiming right at me! […]

The Gradual Slide to Disconnection

 It’s a bittersweet moment to watch your son move from being a college student to being a college grad. I’m so happy for him and his huge accomplishment, but there’s something inside of me that wants to go back to the days when he ran to my arms for comfort or believed everything I said […]

Learning the Hard Way

If you are in a messy marriage, you may feel like, “When are things going to get easier?” Maybe you’ve gone to counseling, you’ve prayed and prayed for your marriage, you’ve worked on communicating better with your spouse, you’ve read marriage book after marriage book, and next to nothing ever happens or changes for the […]

What Are You Trying to Redo?

Ever wonder why you do the things you do? As human beings, everything we do is for a reason. Since God created us with such complexity, there may be a variety of reasons at play. But one of the important sources for all that we do is called the “Homing Instinct.” In today’s electronic world, […]

Falling Forward

Sometimes I let the doubts about who I am—messiness and all—get me down. I wonder, How can I ever lead others into healing and wholeness in marriage or life, if I don’t have it all together myself?   The reality is that very often I don’t feel qualified. I don’t feel capable. I don’t feel […]

Mixed Feelings on My Boys, Marriage and Milestones

Today’s topic on Marriage Monday is Children and Marriage. This seems like a timely topic for me, since I’ve found myself reflecting back on those many years of raising my three boys, due to some milestone moments of late. And not only have I reflected on the past, but I’ve also looked ahead to my […]

Mixed Feelings on My Boys, Marriage and Milestones

Today’s topic on Marriage Monday is Children and Marriage. This seems like a timely topic for me, since I’ve found myself reflecting back on those many years of raising my three boys due to some milestone moments of late. And not only have I reflected on the past, but I’ve also looked ahead to my […]

Keep the Change!

Written by Stacey Micklevitz Messy Marriage Team Member How often do we hear friends lament that their spouses “have changed?” Such a complaint is common among those who are unhappy in their marriages or are heading toward divorce. The comment is often accompanied by “He/she is just not the same person he/she was when we […]