2 Reasons Why I Need ‘Filter’ to be My Word for 2017

I have to admit something—I didn’t choose a word to focus on for 2016. I know you’re probably like, What??!! Are you kidding me? . . . What self-respecting Christian blogger doesn’t choose a word to focus on, be challenged by, and apply time-after-time all throughout the year? Well, apparently this one. 🙁 #bloggerfail If […]

One Key Way Prayer Journaling Uncovers Denial And Linkup

I never dreamed many years ago that prayer journaling would open up a whole new world of insight for me like I’d never experienced before in my prayer life. I must preface that by saying God opened up new insights as I combined my prayer journaling with my Bible studies and readings. We should always […]

How Prayer Journaling Improved My Marriage And Linkup

One of the main blessings I’ve experienced with the many prayers I’ve written out over the years is how it always brings such comfort when I’ve felt hurt in my marriage. Back in my very messy marriage years, I expected my hubby to be the main person who would comfort me—even and especially when he […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]

The Controller Love Style And FMTM Linkup

With Thanksgiving in the U.S. a day away, it seems appropriate to discuss the many shades of a Controller “love style!” We wouldn’t be able to get through a true Thanksgiving meal or celebration without the “Control Freak” in somebody rising to the surface like a tasty batch of homemade rolls  . . . minus […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up! Video

Getting a reluctant mate to open up to you is about as easy as coaxing a cranky toddler to eat his peas. At least, that’s what I’ve discovered in my own life. And it’s also what I’ve heard from countless others, especially wives, in conversationless marriages. Today I’m answering another reader’s question in my “Questioning […]

Vacillator ‘Love Style’ in Marriage Plus FMTM Linkup

Should I post on the Vacillator today, or not? Um, sure . . . I think I will! No, wait a minute . . . definitely not! Well . . . maybe I should! Just a little sarcasm to get this “love style” train chugging down or perhaps backing up along the proverbial track! My […]

When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]