Desperate Marriage Myth #1

Recently I conducted a survey here at Messy Marriage and I can tell from the responses that many of you are in desperate situations and don’t know what to do about your marriage. It’s important to recognize four myths identified by Gary Chapman in his book, Desperate Marriages that often surface in our thinking when […]

Feel Alone in Marriage or Life?

  I’ve been scouring over my journals from my very messy marriage years because I’m working on writing the book – Messy Marriage {Yay!}. And as I’ve done so, I’ve recalled how alone and alienated I often felt during those years {Not so Yay!}. In a messy marriage it’s easy to feel that you and […]

Feel like God Doesn’t Hear You?

Recently I’ve been reading through some of my old journals from many years ago and there was one story that really stood out—that seemed to tell not just a story of my life, but a story of how faithful God is. At the time of the writing, my husband and I were going through a […]

Are You Accidentally In-Validating Your Spouse?

A couple of weeks ago I wrote, “4 Ways to Validate Your Spouse” and one of my readers, Laura Lee of Outnumberedmom suggested that I write about what validation is NOT because many people think they’re validating someone when nothing is further from the truth. I totally agree! I’ve been there, in a deep conversation […]

How to Validate Your Spouse’s Feelings

Have you ever felt like you’ve shared your deepest feelings with your spouse only to be left feeling unheard, walled out or simply misunderstood? What you’re wanting—the missing link—is validation or acknowledgement of your feelings. But when validation is given, it can be like a warm emotional hug to someone who’s been left out in […]

Finding Calm Before & After the "Storm"

  For the most part, I am an anxious person. And nothing makes me more stressed and anxious than a conflict. It’s nothing for me to face an important confrontation with my mouth dry as cotton and my voice quivering with fear as I stammer out my disjointed thoughts. The greater the intensity of the […]

Is My "Comfort Zone" Really Safe?

We are continuing on in our series about being “consumed” and today the focus is on being consumed with comfort … Photo by kennymatic As I write this post, I sit in my “Easy Chair” with legs perched atop my pillow-covered ottoman. The A/C is set to a comfortable 77 degrees, but if that’s not […]