Marriage Mistake #6 – Turned to My Mom for Comfort

Early in my married life, I made a mistake that I feel is very common for many couples who find themselves in trouble. This is how it worked for me: My husband did something that I perceived to be wrong or hurtful. I turned to a parent, in my case, my mother to vent about […]

Marriage Mistake #5 – Negative Focus

Have you ever tried to tend a garden? If you don’t have the plastic weed barrier firmly in place, then you might as well resign yourself to a long-term battle with your finger on the trigger of Round-Up—aiming to kill.  In the same way that weeds can take over a flower garden, I allowed “weeds” […]

Conflict – How to Meet in the Middle

It’s not easy to meet in the middle. I’ve observed this from the many couples who’ve met with me in my counseling office. But most of all, I’ve experienced it in my own life as I’ve wrestled with my pride.  That’s just it—pride distorts our thinking. It makes us think we are better and, for […]

Marriage Mistake #4 – I Fought Fire with Fire

For years, my husband and I went ‘round and ‘round when it came to conflict. He would do something that would rattle my chain, and then all of a sudden he’d notice I was being extremely quiet. So he’d ask, “Is there something wrong, Beth?” I’d say, “No, I’m fine.” {Short for – “Feelings Inside […]

Marriage Mistake #3 – Avoided Conflict

I grew up in a family that didn’t really know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. Often my parents played opposite positions in times of conflict, but neither position brought resolution to the problem nor did it bring them together as a couple. They were living-out examples of the extremes in communication. My […]

Marriage Mistake #2 – Expected Too Much Communication

Let’s face it. There are major differences between men and women, and one of the big ones is the amount of communication women use versus men. Studies have shown that women use approximately 20,000 words per day compared to the measly 7,000 word count that men tend to prefer. You can tell this simply by […]

Marriage Mistake #1 – Never Asked for Help

I’m going to start a new series of posts based upon the mistakes I’ve made in my marriage and this first one involved not asking my husband for help.  Since my husband and I just celebrated our 23rd anniversary, I think I’ve earned the dubious distinction of knowing what not to do in marriage, and […]