Stage Two of Confronting a Spouse And Linkup!

In marriage, a lot of couples are able to work through at least a minor to moderate-level conflict without the help of a third or fourth party. 😉  In fact, there’s even advice from Scripture that says outside parties should steer clear of a conflict that is not their own! #dogbite “Interfering in someone else’s […]

First Step to Confront with Grace – And Linkup

Last week I introduced the idea that “grace” is not only shown when we overlook an offense, or even when we hold our tongue and patiently pray for God to convict the other party, but it’s also shown when we confront our offender. But how can that be considered “grace”—to confront someone? Doesn’t that sound […]

How Long Should I Extend Grace in Marriage? And Linkup

I ended last week’s post in the series, The Many Faces of Grace, with this question: When is it unhealthy or “enabling” to overlook an insult or sin in my spouse (or other offender)? I think the questions to consider in this kind of situation are: Is it destructive to one or more relationships? (Creating […]

What Extending Grace Looks like in Marriage – Plus Linkup

One of the things that has often confounded me is, when do I extend grace? Is it all the time? And what does grace even look like, especially in marriage? I think of grace like forgiveness—letting something go. After all, the Lord certainly has let go of the need to punish me for my sin—dying […]

How to Find Encouragement in the Mess of Marriage Plus Linkup

We all want peaceful lives and marriages where conflicts rarely if ever erupt, right? But more times than not, my life and marriage has been wracked by pain and struggles. #nosurprise There hasn’t been a season in my life—and I’ve lived a fairly long one!—where I didn’t have some kind of hardship or overwhelming stressor […]

No More Perfect Marriages Book Review, Giveaway and Linkup

I’m excited to be reviewing Mark and Jill Savage’s new marriage book, No More Perfect Marriages, and giving away one copy to one randomly chosen person who comments on this post. Jill is the founder of Hearts at Home ministry and has authored and coauthored five books—two of which were with her husband Mark. This […]

Get Past Awkwardness of Praying with Your Spouse And Linkup

My husband and I have found that praying together is one of the most important things we do for our marriage. I’m not talking about praying at the dinner table or side-by-side at church or other church-related gatherings. Those are all good things  . . . But I want to challenge you today to get […]

How and What to Pray for Your Spouse Plus Linkup!

I was raised in a pastor’s home where prayer was an everyday occurrence, at least around the table. But oddly enough, I can’t recall ever seeing my parents pray together as a couple. That might explain why their marriage was probably messier than my own has been. And though I’m a pastor’s wife, I have […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]