Stage Two of Confronting a Spouse And Linkup!

In marriage, a lot of couples are able to work through at least a minor to moderate-level conflict without the help of a third or fourth party. 😉  In fact, there’s even advice from Scripture that says outside parties should steer clear of a conflict that is not their own! #dogbite “Interfering in someone else’s […]

First Step to Confront with Grace – And Linkup

Last week I introduced the idea that “grace” is not only shown when we overlook an offense, or even when we hold our tongue and patiently pray for God to convict the other party, but it’s also shown when we confront our offender. But how can that be considered “grace”—to confront someone? Doesn’t that sound […]

How Long Should I Extend Grace in Marriage? And Linkup

I ended last week’s post in the series, The Many Faces of Grace, with this question: When is it unhealthy or “enabling” to overlook an insult or sin in my spouse (or other offender)? I think the questions to consider in this kind of situation are: Is it destructive to one or more relationships? (Creating […]

What Extending Grace Looks like in Marriage – Plus Linkup

One of the things that has often confounded me is, when do I extend grace? Is it all the time? And what does grace even look like, especially in marriage? I think of grace like forgiveness—letting something go. After all, the Lord certainly has let go of the need to punish me for my sin—dying […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

How does listening heal when working toward reconciliation?

I’m answering in the form of a video an MM reader’s question today on the issue of listening to his wife’s pain when coming to the reconciliation table. Unfortunately, the process of reconciliation can be tough, even brutal for both parties. But it’s sort of like surgery. Whenever we need it, we submit ourselves to […]

What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of […]

How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a […]

‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on […]