Desperate Marriage Myth #1

Recently I conducted a survey here at Messy Marriage and I can tell from the responses that many of you are in desperate situations and don’t know what to do about your marriage. It’s important to recognize four myths identified by Gary Chapman in his book, Desperate Marriages that often surface in our thinking when […]

When You Feel like Your Spouse is the Enemy

  It’s often so hard to see what’s really going on when we’re in the middle of the struggles in life. Can I get an Amen? It’s like that metaphor for life that the apostle Paul used in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “We see but a poor reflection as in a mirror …” and if we […]

Feel Alone in Marriage or Life?

  I’ve been scouring over my journals from my very messy marriage years because I’m working on writing the book – Messy Marriage {Yay!}. And as I’ve done so, I’ve recalled how alone and alienated I often felt during those years {Not so Yay!}. In a messy marriage it’s easy to feel that you and […]

Is God ‘Setting You Up’ for Something Better?

I love a good mystery. And I bet many of you are gobbling up great summer suspense novels while sipping tea poolside or taking in the latest suspense movie while downing lots of buttery popcorn. What fun! But I’m here to tell you about a suspenseful story that I read recently … It’s found in […]

Feel like God Doesn’t Hear You?

Recently I’ve been reading through some of my old journals from many years ago and there was one story that really stood out—that seemed to tell not just a story of my life, but a story of how faithful God is. At the time of the writing, my husband and I were going through a […]

Are You the Good Spouse?

You make sure to refrain from losing your cool in any and every argument …You pray about every decision and stay close to God …You maintain a forgiving spirit with your spouse …You do all the “right things” in life and marriage …You take responsibility when and where it’s needed …You avoid complaining and keep […]

4 Expectations that Transform Hopelessness

  Recently our nation has experienced yet another tragedy through a devastating tornado that hit near Oklahoma City. As we as a nation grieve, I’m reminded that many of us face terrible trials and times of loss in this life. But I’ve found that when I change my expectations in the times of trouble, God […]

Feeling Stuck? {& Book Giveaway!}

If you’re like me, there’s always going to be some area in your life where you feel “stuck”—especially if you’re in a marriage that’s messy from time to time. {And who doesn’t have that?} Maybe you feel stuck with a spouse who … Won’t take responsibility. Or who constantly criticizes you. Or who pushes you […]

Are You Accidentally In-Validating Your Spouse?

A couple of weeks ago I wrote, “4 Ways to Validate Your Spouse” and one of my readers, Laura Lee of Outnumberedmom suggested that I write about what validation is NOT because many people think they’re validating someone when nothing is further from the truth. I totally agree! I’ve been there, in a deep conversation […]

A Painful Year of Changes

Written by Heather CoppleMessy Marriage Team Writer This past year has been hard.  So much has happened and not all of it good. But then that is life. Thankfully, we don’t always have to like it. I know that I haven’t liked all the changes and I’m sure neither has my husband, Scott. Let’s start […]