10 Questions to Ask When Depressed

Living in a messy marriage for an extended period of time, often leads to depression … That’s because, whenever we feel we’re unable to escape an overwhelmingly frustrating or oppressive situation, depression has a tendency to develop. It may not be the “marriage” per se that has been the trigger, but a variety of factors […]

Feeling Trapped in a Loveless Marriage?

Recently a comment caught my attention. First of all, because of the pain I was sensing in this person’s words, and second, because it got me to thinking about my own messy marriage journey. Here’s the comment to an article I posted about a spouse continually refusing to admit fault … My wife has behaved […]

The Song of a Crushed Spirit

Written by Kimberly Green Messy Marriage Team Member My husband and I met during our college years. We shared a Love of Jesus and a Passion for Music, and nothing stirred that passion like communicating with the Lord through Worship. His favorite verse was Psalm 33:3, “Sing to Him a new song. Play skillfully with […]

Messy Ministry

Our first day of planting a church, Easter 1992. We met in a nearby school for services and our home for small group. It’s the proverbial chicken or the egg conundrum—which comes first? Messy marriage, therefore, messy ministry? Or Messy ministry, therefore, messy marriage? Well, in my household, it’s been both/and. There were times when […]

Miserable in Marriage

Recently, I had a blog reader point out that my post, “Mess-Maker #1 – My Marriage Should Make Me Happy,” deals with the ineffective pursuit of happiness, but doesn’t address the person who is miserable in his or her marriage. After all, you’d think that a blog named Messy Marriage would directly address the person […]

Learning the Hard Way

If you are in a messy marriage, you may feel like, “When are things going to get easier?” Maybe you’ve gone to counseling, you’ve prayed and prayed for your marriage, you’ve worked on communicating better with your spouse, you’ve read marriage book after marriage book, and next to nothing ever happens or changes for the […]

The Secret to Contentment

I remember the realization like it was yesterday. My husband and I were emerging out of a long, difficult period into a promising new venture. I was walking high and so excited for what this adventure might bring our way. I was determined and hopeful that this new pathway was going to usher in our […]

Falling Forward

Sometimes I let the doubts about who I am—messiness and all—get me down. I wonder, How can I ever lead others into healing and wholeness in marriage or life, if I don’t have it all together myself?   The reality is that very often I don’t feel qualified. I don’t feel capable. I don’t feel […]

Do You Really Want to Get Well?

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I like the perks that come with being sick. When you’re sick, you usually … Don’t have to do your daily responsibilities. Have someone to take care of your many needs. Are given more understanding and concern from those who are healthy. Can nestle down into some comfy […]

The Sign is Telling Me that I Need a Winter’s Thaw

I don’t know about your neck of the woods, but there’s a big thaw going on around here this week. Today it reached up to 65 degrees, even though I still feel like my bones are not thawing as quickly as the snow and ice are!  Another part of my body that isn’t thawing out […]